As I watched all the coverage of the 9/11 tradgedy, I felt just a fraction of the grief that the families who lost loved ones that day. I shed tears, I lit candles , I even thought of praying. I just hoped that God would read my heart and would help me to find faith in Him again.
After walking away from being a JW, I at times somewhere deep in my core wonder if I have done the right thing. I wonder if by not being a JW , has taken me away from God. I know all the evidence, I have seen all the lies, the coverups , the unloving way the WT really is, but the grip this cult had on me at times, would still have me questioning myself.
Watching the humanity on tv today , just made me more sure that if there truly is a God, he would accept anyone who was a basically good person, regardless of what religion they are. I think God would understand our lack of faith in Him right now, and still in His eyes we would not be tossed aside because we are lost , so to speak. I mean just watching the love that these people had for each other on that day, to strangers, proves that the good in man is what stands out the most in the majority of humankind. I don't know if God manifestHimself as a different God to different people or people just make up what they perceive God to be. But I have to think that to God ,the petty things that especially the JW's expect , are just not important to Him at all. It all really does seem to boil down to .......Love. I know there are some truly evil people on the earth , but for the most we all love our families and we would do everything in our power to help our neighbor.
I always had a problem with the JW doctrine that only JW's would survive armeggedon, I found it so hard to beleive that other religions , including those who believe in some other higher power, would be destroyed just because they are not baptized witnessess. I am not sure about alot of things right now, but I am sure that the Higher Power, has not singled out only JW's to receive his mercy.
I have been looking for something to believe in for the last year,,,,,,,, Mainly I have been looking for God. Today I feel that I have one thing to believe in, and that is the good in mankind, not the infallable , nor the best, just that on a whole , most humans are good. This will be what I will highlight to teach my children, to be a really GOOD person.