by Golden Girl 13 Replies latest jw friends
You can be there and you don't have to believe it. You already know how they are and how they act, it will be the same whether you are there or not. Just put their bull out of your mind, let it flow through you like a cool summer breeze through a screen door. You are there for one reason and one reason only, your husband.
I totally agree with what random said here.
Everything else should be SOOOO irrelevant why are you even concerning yourself with what OTHER people are thinking.
Hey Golden....so much DRAMA these people put us through dont they? Cripes. Perhaps you should talk to him about God reading and knowing hearts and how He hates hypocrisy. Would your being next to him at the hall being hypocritical in front of God get you into paradise from a JW point of view? Uh...no. The ONLY way that you could "be with him in Paradise" would be for you to totally be reinstated. He doesnt really think you could fool the elders into allowing that seeing as you have been out for what...27 years now? He should have thought about all this BEFORE getting this disease. It isnt fair for him to now put the onus on YOU to behave the way HE wants you to, laying all this guilt on you. Make sure he doesnt subsequently assign all his assets at death to the SOCIETY my friend. Make SURE you have a will that says that you are his beneficiary. My friend I was telling you about found out that her husband had left tens of thousands of dollars to the Society! She fought it in court. But he did that to be spiteful. They pressure these sick ones to hand over their "worldly goods" and they dont consult YOU about it so watch this carefully.
Yes..you can go to the hall with him. If that gives him joy, its a small price to pay for the time he has left. But bring a good novel. If this treatment his mother is suggesting doesnt work, and it wont, he is going to blame its not working on YOU. Thats how the game is played. "if only my wife had returned to jehovah then I would have been happy and this would have worked!" There was a man in our hall whose wife was a nonJW. As she was dying of face cancer, she repeatedly lambasted him for making her disease worse because he was a JW. He was hoping she would die before armageddon so she would be in the new system and so didnt concern himself with her at all towards the end. He just walked around "waiting on Jehovah". His actions made even ME furious and I was a JW at that time. He remarried a JW within months of her death. They are just WACKED. Hubby needs to concentrate on living and prolonging his own life and stop trying to live yours. He loves you...and you love him, but he must know he cant WILL you back into the society or GUILT you back there.
Snoozy,
I'm so sorry hearing about your husband, and understand your love and concerns all the way around.
As for your going to meeting, etc...damn, I'd want to tell you NO, but that is a very personal decision. Of course I do have my opinions and will state such as lovingly as possible.
You already knew, and it's been confirmed, that you are nothing but a second class citizen in the eyes of JW's. That your husband cries tears of "joy" because on the one hand you go along with what he wants...and cries tears of "sadness" because you cannot play the hyprocrite - well, it makes me heartsick for YOU!
Please, please, know I'm not making light of a serious medical condition, BUT (there's always a but it seems like) if the tables were turned -if it were the non-believer that is in need I seriously doubt the JW would respect your wishes. You are dealing with people who have no respect for anyone or anything that goes contrary to their expressed belief. Period. It's the rare JW that will put the GB dictates aside when it comes to life and death situations. We "apostates" didn't just make up this shit about that religion.
I'm really pissed, truthfully. Pissed at yet another way that that filthy religion tears families apart at a time when unity should prevail. Hell, whether or not it's a life and death situation doesn't even matter to those people. They have no qualms about any of their behavior or speech. They will always be right - you will always be wrong. Screw em.'
Only you can know yourself...why would guilt be necessary should you chose to not be a part of JW meetings, etc? You've already seen how they try and use such unloving tactics to get what they want. And too willingly place yourself in emotional, spiritual harms' way by submitting to the elder's dicatates...GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! Bastards.
OH, Snooz - my heart just goes out to you in such a big way. Do you still have my e-mail address?
And remember, please, your beloved husband's belief about you two "being together" is his belief, not yours. In the finale who of us can KNOW the real truth of what awaits. We stand on our own merit free of fear that consumes the JW's. We no longer fear any god because we have been honest with ourselves. You cannot be responsible for your husband's belief, or lack of, no matter how many years spent together. It's just another JW controlling tactic. In turn, where is the love towards you expressed because you do believe differently? Get my drift. Sorry if that sounds mean about the husband you love deeply and UNCONDITIONALLY. Not going to meetings, not playing along with the JW scenerio that will be laid out for you by the elders is absolutely no reflection upon the love you hold so dear. And please, do not allow them to place any doubt in your mind otherwise. You, and many others already know how evil and unloving they are. Stay strong, dear lady.
Love,
Linda
Thank you so much for your support! It has helped me more than you can know!
His JW Mom is staying with us for a while and his JW sister will be here Wednesday.
They are pushing so hard for me to go! Hs mom even bougt me a outfit to wear to the hall for today! I still refused. The only way I will go is if he is weak and needs my help!.
Reading your posts gave me the strengh I needed for a while! I will be back!...I can't get on the comp. to much as they will always be around me! .
Hubby is scheduled to have the porta cath put in his chest tomorrw. Wednesday we meet with the oncologist to discuss what chemo combo he is using. And Thursday he will get his first dose.I am so afraid..and so alone.
I have 3 children that are grown and they really help. But you are still so all alone when someting like this happens!
My love to all..Thank you so much for your support! I will update when I can..
Golden Girl...aka...Snoozy
