Question For Ex-JW Sisters

by Larry 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Larry
    Larry

    After I got out of H.S. school, got baptized, and started working the midnight shift, I went out in Service

    nearly

    everyday with the morning group

    . I loved it because going out enabled me to get to know the Friends (and everybody's business). Now anybody that meets w/ the Morning Group knows that the majority of the group are sisters. So when I first met the group I was surprised that they all looked for me to take the lead . I mean under normal circumstances it would have been fine, but I was young (18), and newly baptize so it was pretty intimating leading those sister with JW tenure, some w/ over 20 or more years of full time service . After a while I got used to being in charge, but I was always amazed at how a young brother would take the lead over sisters with much, much more experience than I could ever have. I knew some of the sisters resented it, although they never showed it to me. Hell, I resented some of the Elders giving all those service meeting parts and they were never out in service.

    So my question is addressed to the Ex-JW's who were sisters - Did you resent the Elders giving service meeting

    parts who hardly went out in service and/or the young brothers giving direction to the older sisters?

    Now that I think about it, Did you resent the fact that the Elders were the 'qualified' teachers from the platform? Did you ever feel like you could give talks

    better than the Elders?

    In hindsight, I can't believe how chauvinistic the BORG was/is.

    Peace - LL

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    Absolutely!

    I hated that women couldn't "teach" or "lead". It never sat right with me

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    It only bothered me when they made such assinine comments and weren't towing the line..... ie.. speaking of pioneering and yet they nor their family made no effort.

    Usually, the young brothers, just quickly led the day text and asked for comments, asked who had pre-arranged groups or studies and then said prayer. This way he didn't have to do the arranging and we could help him without overstepping the arrangement.

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    Since the borg was drilled into me at such a young age, when I was out in service with an elder other than one of my family members--I remember many times I had to take over the confruntations at the door. I was only about 11yrs old and could stump a baptist preacher(that one stood out, not trying to say anything about baptists) on any doctrine he brought up. I had this occur alot and I was praised for it highly in my cong. I thought it was unfair that I could do that at the door but couldn't give a main talk on the TMS. I thought I was over qualified, and if I had been a male I know they would have flaunted me all over the stage with talks and demonstrations. Being female no matter how "good" they thought you were, it meant nothing but that you had to be submissive.

  • VeniceIT
    VeniceIT

    hahha umm no actually I was the perfect little JW. I thought that was all well and proper I never had ANY desire to have to give a part in the TMS or service meeting let along public talk. I always said 'that's why I was smart enough to be born a sister'.

    The only time it was frustrating was when you had to stand in the entry at the hall for 20 min because the brothers couldn't figure out who to put where in a cargroup. Personally I think that's like one of those things men can not do. Kinda like looking for something in the fridge that's 'behind the milk', or asking directions. Figuring out how to put 4 sisters, and 15 screaming kids into 3 vans is just not in their capabilities. hahhahahahhaha ohh the memories.

    Ven

  • mrs rocky2
    mrs rocky2

    Field service was always frustrating. Weekdays I usually ended up always in the same car group, either with Rocky's mom and sister-in-law, or with the moms with small children. Saturdays were either, again with my own family and mother-in-law, or me the only adult with 4 or 5 children under the age of 12. As for TMS parts, growing up my dad was the school overseer. My sis and I had to be ready to fill in at a moments notice. We were groomed to be public speakers from an early age and probably could have done a better job than most. Did we want to? No way! I was in the TMS for 30 years before I quit giving talks, rather cold turkey. Don't miss it a bit. But as for the young brother/elders not being able to make car groups, etc. - they just can't multi-task very well. Wonder if that is a gender specific thing? My best memories of service were going to the houses that were designated as 'do not calls.' The elders didn't like going to those for the annual 'do you still want to be on the list' call. So they sent Rocky - he's not afraid of too much. And usually he knew who these people were and they were friendly to him. We usually had very good visits, altho not necessarily pushing the WT agenda. But I'm with you Ven - oh the memories (don't miss it at all!)

    Mrs R

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    SPAZ did not resent them.
    Nor did she envy them.
    Sometimes she got a kick out of them.
    She did see the glaring discrepancies in "the rules" though.
    Mm-hmm. Yep. Mm-hmm.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Yes, there were times that it bothered me, particularly when the 'brother' would spout ignorant comments about what a privilege it was for him to take the lead and delegate to the sisters... yada yada yada.

    But, on the other hand, I'd very astutely point out that their "privilege" of service was the result of the chance embryonic development of a penis. And if someone needed to use that as "proof" of their ability to lead, then let the baby have his bottle, so to speak.

    When other sisters would gossip (yes they would) about the younger, inexperienced brothers taking the lead and being "clumsy" about it or putting on airs of authority, it was always fun to remind them that (a) the brother isn't making any money for doing this, (b) it involves a lot of extra work and preparation, and (c) nobody really gives a flying flip about it anyway.

    Yep. I was one of "those" insolent sisters.

    Love, Scully

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    At times, when the brother on stage was stuttering and stumbling and seemingly unable to make a coherent statement, I would think that I could do a much better job in giving that talk than he was doing!

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    Or how about the one where the only other brother at the book study, besides the conductor, was a young man who could not read. It used to grate my nerves that eveyone had to sit and listen to this poor guy (high school grad, though ;)) mispronounce any word over 4 letters. Sheesh.

    Thanks for asking the ladies opinions, Larry, looks like you are becoming more sensitive at being a HUMAN BEING and not a chauvinistic pig. (opps, did I just say that???)

    j2bf

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