Question For Ex-JW Sisters

by Larry 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • truman
    truman

    I have always thought that the WTS was wasting some of their best talent by keeping us sisters 'in our place'. As to organizing car groups, the best service group leaders would get out of the way and let the sisters do it, saying that those who needed help should come forward and he would help them. That worked well. I really hated it when the CO would come, and insist on arranging car groups personally. He never knew the personal dynamics of the various people, who preferred to go with whom, who couldn't stand to be in the same group with whom, who wouldn't talk at the door and so had to be placed with someone more outgoing, etc. It invariably created unpleasant situations.

    Personally, I never had any desire to have a position of responsibility in the cong. Even the Ministry School was more than I would have done by choice, as I hate being on stage, but I did it because I was supposed to. Still, I think there was always a buried kernel of resentment knowing that I was a second class servant of Jehovah, by virtue of my gender.

    For the most part, I and other sisters in our cong, tried to view those young brothers who had to take charge in a motherly fashion, as if we were contributing our part in their development towards their spiritual progress as a man 'reaching out'. My son's were baptized at a very young age, and they went through this. The sisters would just smile and say how well they were doing, while at the same time being glad there was a male of some kind present, so one of them wouldn't have to put a napkin on her head and read the text to the rest of us. Really, any way you look at it, adherence to these silly procedures was ridiculous.

    One thing a friend and I used to comfort ourselves with was the idea that if the Bible hadn't said that only the men could have congregational teaching and leadership duties, then most likely, we sisters would have ended up DOING IT ALL, and who wanted that!.

    truman

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Hello Larry, peace to you also

    Short answer 'Hell Yes'

    I resented the elders for a number of other reasons....not so much field service. I remember an elder giving a talk on marriage...and yet we knew he was secretly romancing a single sister...to my knowledge they never did anything wrong, but he spent a lot of time with her alone and we all knew they had 'something'...what a sanctimonious sod he was.

    I knew one sister we used to nick name the elderette...because she would always counsel the elders when she thought they would fall short of her expectations. Being a pioneer, she used to resent just about everyone that didn't put in as much time in the field service as her...she used to say 'its not fair Jehovah, how come THEY get the same reward as me and yet I'm doing ALL THE WORK'.

    Beck

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    It never bothered me. I didn't want the job.

    When it was announced at the New York convention, in 1958, that sisters could now join the Ministry School, I was horrified. I was 12, but still horrified. I didnt' WANT to give talks.

    So, NO, let the men do it.

  • wasasister
    wasasister
    Did you ever feel like you could give talks better than the Elders

    Well, for the most part, when my ex-husband was giving a talk, he was just parroting my words. I wrote every part he gave, from the Ministry School to Public Talks. I coached him on how to pronounce every word, where to hit a punch line, which phrase to emphasize. The poor man couldn't write a coherent sentence.

    I really enjoyed public speaking and could have given an interesting and informative public talk. Until right at the end, however, I felt good about fitting into my "role" as a Christian Sister. Most elders treated me with respect for my experience and knowledge. A few red-necks resented it, one even counselling me to "stop using such big words to try to impress...."

    I credit the TMS for teaching me to speak in public. These skills have served me well.

    BTW, thanks for asking!

    Wasa

  • sister grace
    sister grace

    i'm like Ven, thought i was a good little witness never thought of bucking the "brothers" UNTIL they began quoting things like "for the good of the brotherhood" and "the elders are being directed by Jeh." and then they would do really mean and stupid things.

  • ugg
    ugg

    it never bothered me,,,,just grateful,,,i did not have to do it...

  • SYN
    SYN

    It always saddens and angers me to see the way our wonderful ladies are treated by the Tower. It's like they're second class citizens and not equals.

    Seems like all Publishers are equal, but men are more equal than women in the BORG.

  • Mary
    Mary

    They are chauvanists to the extreme..........I remember the brother who took my bookstudy years ago made some stupid comment that we're all in this predicament because Eve was so dumb so took a bite of the forbidden fruit. I immediately spoke up and said "yes, but Adam ate it KNOWING that what he was doing was wrong, so that makes him twice as stupid as her."

    LOL! He did NOT appreciate the comment and I got told after that it was an "inappropriate comment to make."

    Bite me.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    I just hated wearing those stupid napkins on our heads. Geez... that's about the dumbest thing I ever heard of.. or fell for. When I told my husband that I had to wear a napkin on my head, he just shook his head and said "Now I've heard it all." Not really... heeeh. There's worse! What about the dorky younger brother who is in charge of the saturday service just because he's the only male and he tries to be little Mr. Napoleon with the sisters. What a dork. Us younger teeaged girls used to just stare and start giggling. heh.

    Country Girl

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    The first year I was pioneering, 1991, we had a young male pioneer who was 18. His older brother, 20, came in service one day, during the week because he had a day off from work. Both were MS's. They argued in front of all the women, about giving the closing prayer. I couldn't believe it. The younger one was conducting, and called on his brother to pray, and he refused, saying the other one had to pray. Then they got into a competition foray. It was embarrassing. I reported it to my elder husband who had to talk to them, with their elder father present. They both lived at home and were little "daddy puppets". I loved that. They were such buffoons. Now they are both elders. Who can figure?

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