A friend of mine told me that all of the Spiritually Mature (TM) Brothers and Sisters have been instructed to start building giant vulture-breeding cages - it seems that Jehover will need a little Earthly Help from the Sheeple, as he won't be able to muster up giant flocks of vultures sufficiently quickly when Armageddon comes. Apparently Elders conducted investigations and determined the number of vultures required to consume a small, 7 year old child in under an hour, and are basing their calculations fro the required numbers of vultures on this information.
vulture population rising
by og 39 Replies latest jw friends
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RedhorseWoman
Apparently Elders conducted investigations and determined the number of vultures required to consume a small, 7 year old child in under an hour, and are basing their calculations fro the required numbers of vultures on this information.
Do you know whether or not they tested various scenarios? After all, a fully "ripe" cadaver could be consumed in less time than an "unripe" one, and unless a full battery of test cases was set up, the numbers of vultures could be grossly skewed, making for a rather nasty time of it.
Imagine all the good dubbies happily picnicking with Abraham when they are invaded by the excess vulture population that has been deprived of sufficient carrion to sate their appetites. And they think seagulls cause trouble? HA!
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rocky220
hmmmm.....makes a good commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken......me thinks.... rocky220
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Vivamus
Scientists from all over the world are reporting unprecedented increases in vulture population - armageddon must be near!!!!!!!
I would go with Elsewhere and run to the nearest KH to beg for fogiveness. But I am laughing to freaking hard. They would never believe in my sincerity.
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Stephanus
Like many JW urban myths, this one was lifted from mainstream Christendom. It's been around at least since the 70s. I was astounded to find that my own favourite end times prophecy buff, Barry Smith didn't actually fall for this one - he warned people against believing it. Yet he believed the rumours of a giant computer in Brussels called "The Beast", a death ray to be used by the Israelis against the invading Russians, hidden cameras inside TVs monitoring the watchers, etc.
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Sentinel
Funny,
All I can envision is the massive loads of bird s@#t messing up our eyesight so we can't see what's REALLY going on.
Sentinel/Karen
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Kenneson
I grew up in a city called Carencro, Louisiana. In 1887 George Washington Cable, a New Orleans author, wrote for Century magazine a long story entitled "Carancro." Therein he asks: "Why would it not be well to name places for the beautiful bird that most frequents the surrounding woods or fields, and how pleasant to have one's hamlet called Nightingale or Whippoorwill or Goldfinch or Oriole?" Unfortunately, the carancro, or buzzard, is not a beautiful bird! Why, then, would anyone want to call a district, a bayou, some hills, and a town by that name? There are several theories. The following two are my favorites. Tradition maintains that in Indian days a huge mastodon died in the vicinity of the present city of Carencro. Thousands of buzzards filled the air as they came to feast on the carcass. Because it took the birds several weeks to complete their feast, the region was named Carencro. Others feel that the area was named for the great number of carrion crows (buzzards) that once roosted in the trees along the banks of Bayou Carencro. Carencro is the Cajunized version of carrion crow.
What is so amusing to me is that Jehovah's Witnesses did not set foot in Carencro until the early 1940s. Can you imagine the panic that Rev. 19:17-18 would have engendered upon the earliest inhabitants had the Witnesses been there at its inception to proclaim the message?
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Nathan Natas
Oh Gee,
Looks like the season for vulture-egg omlettes is nigh!
In fact, I think that WTS Bethel chief cooks from around the world are being called into a special 4 day Vulture-Egg-Omlette seminar that will be presented by Emeril Legasse.
LOL
Let the vulture egg predation begin!
Edited by - Nathan Natas on 19 September 2002 20:24:14
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BeelzeDub
Nathan,
I think the GB canceled the 4 day omlette seminar and decided to bring in incubators to the farm and hatch the eggs quicker.
They figured out that the more vultures there are to eat the flesh of 6 billion people.... the quicker they will be able to move into all the nice new homes of all the "worldly" tm people. LOL
Besides that the GB members are getting so old that they can't aford to clog their arteries anymore, there is already a lack of blood flow to the brain.
