Getting to know someone...a little better

forgetmenot

Okay, I am incredibly shy but I just joined a club. The guy that I have a huge crush on happens to be the president of this club. Meetings are only once a month and he's only the president for about three or four months more. I've gone to a few of their events but am too shy to go to all of them (thinking I'll give off weird vibes). We've met before I joined the club because his family lives in the town I came from. So, he told me that if I ever wanted to go home, to call him up. The problem is that the next long enough weekend to go home on about one and a half months away. So, without being too weird, how would I get to know him...a little better? Should I call him and just see what he's doing and take if from there? Or...e-mail him? Give me a little advice here, okay? Thanks.

I live in the dorms at college and he lives in an apartment, so its not like I can just run down the hall and talk with him... (Only if it were that nice). Hes also four years older then me so theres no chance hes going to be in any of my classes and because hes a senior, I only have less than a year. Not much time for a shy girl...

VeniceIT

HMMMMMM well I'm soo excited for you babe. Maybe you could get some pics from your hometown and email him and then get him on instant messanger, sometimes onlines an easier way if your shy. Don't forget that HE offered so he already took the iniative to seek you out, so just be nice and friendly and be yourself, but push yourself too (or if you really want to get the guy don't take any advice from me hahahahhaha)

Let us know how it goes, ohh and a nice drive home could be a lot of fun, with all that beautiful scenery......

Ven

PS drain the gas tank hahaha

LB

Go slow on the crush thing but ask him out. See if he wants to go get some coffee. Ask him if he'd like to hang out with you. If he has half a brain he'll pick up on it and you'll know right away if there is a shot or not.

larc

Since he is a senior and you are a freshmen, I would ask him if he could give you some help on a homework assignment. It will make him feel so important, and it could lead to a lot of time together.

joannadandy

I agree with Ven...e-mail takes a lot of pressure off. Maybe you could give him a number to contact you? Then the pressure if off you to call him. Trust me as one shy girl to another, I know this is not easy! But maybe a phone call on your part would get the most action. You could tell him you are home sick and would just like to get together and chat.

As Ven also said, he made the offer to you to get together for a holiday trip. He does have an interest in you or he wouldn't have offered at all. From what little bit you have said, he sounds very sweet, and if you would just give him a call you two could probably get together and go out for coffee sometime, or go see a movie. If you are a freshman you could ask him if he could introduce you to some people on campus. The more time you spend with him/talk to him/e-mail him the less shy you will be around him.

Good luck tho! I know it's easier said than done...keep me posted! (e-mail is in my profile!)

Xander

Maybe you could get some pics from your hometown and email him and then get him on instant messanger, sometimes onlines an easier way if your shy.

I would ask him if he could give you some help on a homework assignment

These are TERRIBLE suggestions!!

And what up with the emailing pics of your hometown? creeeeeeepy

Are you reasonably cute? Is he unattached?

Then just tell him what you feel! Guys our age are hormone driven. (More so than normal for guys, which is saying a lot). We're really not that hard to get the attention of.

Now, if you fall more into the 'homely' catagory, there is still hope - you just have to work at it some. Find common interests, etc, and take it slower.

If you're downright ugly....well....don't hold your breath.

Uhhh...if you're not sure, you could always post a pic here for comment (for some ungodly reason, women always seems to underestimate their beauty...except for the real dogs who overestimate it quite a bit).

forgetmenot

Xander, youre harsh, but, I probably need it. Because of lurking relatives how are still "in".

I can't post my pic...but ven's seen me before. I have a bad idea of what i look like but you

know...if you permit me to be a little less modest then usual, Im reasonably well off in the looks

 department. I'm pretty sure he's unattached, but I won't know that until I get to know him a

little better...so...anyway...any more suggestions?

[Edited to stop scrolling ]

Edited by - angharad on 20 September 2002 6:36:23

Kingpawn

forgetmenot,

I can't post my pic...but ven's seen me before.I have a bad idea of what i look like but you know...if you permit me to be a little less modest then usual, Im reasonably well off in the looks department.

E-mail a pic of you to some of the posters here (active ones) with an explanatory paragraph about why you're doing it. Might want to say something like "I'm forgetmenot from JWD" in the subject line (I say that because many people's mail programs shove bulk mail into a special folder, treating multirecipient messages like that as spam. This way it'll stand out from the rest). Ask for feedback. Make it a random sample if you want.

The part I highlighted above looks contradictory to me, or am I missing something? If you have a bad idea of how you look, how do you also feel you're not bad off in the looks dept.? If it's a case of you knowing you're attractive but you've had people putting you down for your looks, then get some fresh opinions from older, wiser, impartial third parties on here.

QUEENIE

HOW COME TNE MORE I GET TO KNOW PEOPLE THE BETTER I LIKE MY KAT and sure would like to get a puppy or one that is housebroke and fixed??? I am getting more and more agoraphobic and would love to hang out with myself behind closed curtains and be a couch potato from here on out??? QUEENIE [email protected]

Xander

Well, I wasn't really going for 'harsh'. More 'abrasive', really....

Oh, wait, no, that's not what I meant at all....

No, I just think it's important to not drag your feet, second guessing every action.

(That said, you really need to find out if he is unattached first. Quickest way to do this? Ask someone who already knows him better!)

Getting to know someone...a little better

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