by Ephanyminitas 28 Replies latest jw friends
I thought about it long and hard. I miss my family like crazy, but I will not lie to them anymore. I will not pretend to be a believer just for my family's sake. I can't lie to them or myself. I've chosen to stay disfellowshipped and that's how it's going to be. If my mom can't talk to me for the rest of her life, then so be it.
It really sucks that it has to be that way, but, I refuse to pretend just to have the approval of other people. That's not what I'm about at all.
Buffy
I may have thought about going back, but as time goes by, the solid answer, would be no. I no longer want to be part of an org. that teaches love, then turns their back on people, especially family, my relatives who are still in the org. are the ones who are missing out on knowing me as a person, the love that I have for them, and if they chose to do that, then that is their decision. I neither have the time or patience to worry about people who do not give to hoots for me. They miss out, now my life goes on. I have friends, and my own family to concentrate on. Sure the feelings come back periodically, then I talk with my hubby and he sets my mind to ease, and back on the right track so to speak. As for them, I hope they are happy and content with their own lives. I have one Aunt who is still a JW and refuses to cut me off, I love her dearly for having her own mind, and doing what she wants, rather than doing what they tell her. So you see, she gets my love, and they get a big fat nothing.
Funkyderek!! Amen to that. I believe if you want to go back GO! I considered it when I was first out- thinking I loved my kids so much ( they were still IN) But I will tell you I have never been happier than I am now- I may have lost my own flesh & blood whom I do love- but I have so many EX JWs that truly love me-SO MANY----I feel a bit like job I lost some & gained some....
As to the parakeet.Get a load of this. When I was a JW I taught mine to say JEHOVAH!
ARMEGGEDONS COMING!!! Stupid Susie!!!! I used to bring the neighbours in to hear it ( well I could count time couldnt I)?Then one day I stepped on it( I used to let them lose at times) I killed it.....
I cried for days.... But the neighbour downstairs heard me screaming & asked my daughter why-She told her....A day later I heard her talking to my other neighbour ( who I had let them all hear the bird)
She said "did you hear the news?" The other one replied "NO"
Well said the first neighbour "Armeggedon came"""!!! With shouts of laughter......Now it is funny
but at the time it wasnt- I loved that bird. I used to say "every living thing will call on the name of
Jehovah!!!! "
Hi Mouthy,
LOL You are hysterical! You made me feel sad and laugh at the time. Sorry about the birdie. I can't wait to me you in October!!! I need to give you a big hug. Thanks for the story. Love, DJ aka Donna
Looking forward for that Hug -i need it -Looking forward for PA It is the happiest time of my life.
Love ya donna
You stepped on it? Wow. At least it was a quick death. <:-)
Thanks to everybody for replying. Rest assured that I have read each of your replies. Truth be told, I'm not seriously considering a return. I just really feel like it sometimes. I have a lot of family, but the great majority means little to me; I'm a notoriously difficult person to get close to. (Back off!)
But my parents ... I would just hate to lose them. I really would. But Shakespeare is correct: "To yo' own se'f be true, yo" (Ebonics variation). My entire life finally makes sense because I know now that I'm a freethinker. The dictionary definition applies to me perfectly. And you certainly can't be a freethinker and in the twoof. Heck -- they called "independent thinking" dangerous!
I guess it's just a matter of time ... waiting for time to heal the wounds. If my parents shun me, it's their loss. At least I know that doing so would be torture to them. Maybe they'll end up being a couple o' those "liberal Witnesses" that will talk with you anyway. Doubtful, knowing my parents. But I'll hang in there.
Damn Witnesses. Or rather, damn Society. Heck -- damn Yankees!
E
I believe in a Budgie heaven, where no cats exsist, and only bird seed in every hand, and many heads to perch on.
Right on! (Sniff.) <:'-)
Edited by - ephanyminitas on 23 September 2002 19:36:20
I guess it's just a matter of time ... waiting for time to heal the wounds. Maybe they'll
end up being a couple o' those "liberal Witnesses" that will talk with you anyway.
Doubtful, knowing my parents.
E,
For what it's worth, my mother was a hard-core Dub for many years. Decades. My oldest sister was df'd in 71 and Mama treated her as dead until quite recently. (Mama: very loyal, regular pioneer; sister: never got reinstated, married a non-witness soon after getting df'd and been married to the very fine man ever since.)
She's never said and I've never asked, but I think Mama came to deeply regret the way she treated her firstborn all those years. It may have even dawned on her that her Beloved Organization might have got one wrong. Point is... for the past two or three years our family has been getting together two or three times a year, making up for lost time. And Mama has been RIGHT THERE, joining in on all the festivities.
So, keep ya head up, Bro. There's hope.
Just to add to Teejay comment-I was baptised over 21 years-If they would have said "drink the cool-aid "I would have.I was in Montreal- where the Police used to stop us often.I went through two NO blood surgerys, My husband used to beat me( cos he said it was a cult- what did HE know?)
But I was a "dyed in the wool"JW.I always say now- It was if the organization was a dirty head of hair-I was a little nit- & the Lord pulled me out kicking & screaming all the way...& I am now FLEA!!!
excuse me I mean FREE!!!!! If it can happen to me-it can happen to your Folks!!!!!
