Prostituting herself for the "truth" (page 2)

DakotaRed

While it saddens me to see someone go against their feelings, can we really blame her? The emotional blackmail is just too much for some people to bear. Loneliness can prompt us to do things against our better judgement. I just feel bad for people that go back and adhere to things they know isn't true, but, given the extent of her missing certain people and the depth of her loneliness, many others have done it too. The F***ing Watchtower is what manipulates people into this. All they care about is warm bodies to maintain their power base.

Lew W

outoftheorg

Hello LD.

So sorry to read of your treatment from mom and your sadness. I am getting some of the same from a few in my family. I came to realize that these people were in the control of the cult and or close family and unable to reason and think or even feel the normal ties for family.

I don't know if this helps any, but I have resolved that I have the right and responsibility to myself to find and enjoy happiness. I will be goddamned if I will allow a few unfeeling relatives spoil that.

To deal with this I made a mental decision that as long as they behave this way, I will have nothing to do with them. This gives back to me the control of my own life. If they indicate that they want to talk to me, I tell them that they must drop the shunning or forget it. I had three siblings I have not heard from in 11 yrs. Two have died recently and since I told them this 10 yrs ago it is like they died at that time. I had my grief and tears then and when they passed away it was not that upsetting.

In the last 10 yrs I have found a measure of peace and happiness. I am contented with life and with myself. I believe this was made possible by removing any source of criticism or control by guilt or emotional blackmail from my life.

I also had to accept that I can not make-cause-wish-manipulate or threaten any one to change their views of me or accept me as I am. That is wholey up to them.

I know that some will label this as a cold and unchristian way to behave. So this may not be what others find acceptable. I lived in the field of grief you described for about two years before I began to look to myself as the only source of protection for myself. If I personally did not set up a set of rules regarding how I would let people treat me I could expect more of the same.

Each person has the right and responsibility to respect themselves and not accept the unacceptable treatment of others. What good are we to ourselves or our loved ones and others if we do not nurture and protect ourselves?

Hope you and your family find some measure of peace and happiness. It is out there.

Outoftheorg

WildHorses

Loves,

I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. You are one of the people who helped me when I first came online. You along with LifeValue and Docbob. I'm sure there is still hope for you MIL because you know how to help people see the "truth" for what it is. Some people do the wrong thing for the right reason. Who knows, maybe her going back to him was to help him come out?

Shari

FrankRaven

LovesDubs,.........I'm so sorry this happened.I'm always hurt,angered,and feel bad after what I've heard about you.So all I can do is to say,"I still love you."I'll always support you and I'm still praying for your family and you.

The Watchtower's main job is to make sure family is ruined and crushed and lost.Around here I don't see too much field service,but if I can find some,I live in a farming community in the Mid-West,and the Bible Belt,I'm going to go from Door-to-Door again as I use to in Los Angeles.That is follow up on the JWs

What the Witnesses go Door-to-Door talking about the Kingdom,I go Door-to-Door talking about the kingdom and the promise of Christ's Salvation.Witnesses don't talk about Christ's salvation.

So hang in there LovesDubs.......and keep your prayers going...Prayer Works......

RevFrank

Mary

I absolutely cannot understand how any family member can totally cut someone off like that - it's disgusting.
My brother DA'd himself years ago when I was still a good little dub, and I never, ever shunned him. I treated him the way I always had and so did my parents. Although we never discussed it, I think we all felt like "screw them, no one's going to tell me I can't speak to my own flesh and blood."

Amazingly, we never got in trouble for it either.

Lovedubs, I'd really like to know what SCRIPTURAL grounds your father-in-law had for leaving his wife. Unless she committed adultery, he had no scriptural grounds and he should have been PR'd for not "following orders."

Assholes.

LovesDubs

Sigh...I guess I keep thinking Im a tough guy after all these years out. Just about the time I think Im making some headway something like this sets me back. I was cleaning out an old filing cabinet getting ready to chuck it, and found a folder full of letters and cards from 1984 to about 1990. In 1984, I was just starting to get into the JWs and I had hit my poor family over the HEAD with this shit...like we all did. And I didnt even recognize that person in those letters! I actually kept copies of my letters to my family and indicated in the corner which magazines I had sent them, so obviously I was keeping track of the time and placements on my own flesh and blood like they were just 4 more doors. I almost puked! Ive been sick all afternoon about it. My poor family, our poor families, trying to sort through what the hell happened to us and us going around saying chuck YOU, Ive got a NEW family! to them. What were we THINKING?? God what I would do to go back and undo this. I suppose if I didnt care so much about them..it wouldnt hurt when they vassilate like my mother in law is doing. I do understand her heart is captive to them and she is being spiritually blackmailed. But an honest letter to me would have helped a lot. I had to be the last to find out...and even then, not from her. Not a word from her. And I know my step father in law, her husband, is laughing at his victory in all this. And AT me. They were never divorced..just separated for two years. I love you guys.

Shakita

Lovesdubs:

I'm sorry to hear of your mother going back. The Wt continues to divide and bring great pain to thousands of families. If your mother was in for decades she couldn't cope with the loss of family and friends. Since we were taught to have only friends in the "truth", when we try to leave we are often left with no one to confide in or have a close relationship with. I'm undergoing similar pain because I know that soon I will have to say goodbye to friends that I have known for over twenty years. I know that it won't ease the pain, but know that you have the understanding and sympathy of the Shakita's.

Mr. Shakita

Prostituting herself for the "truth"