I think once you realize it is not the truth, it is harder to stay in then leave. I was only in because I believed it to be the right thing in God's eyes, once I realized that was not the case, I had to get out. Ray Fran says in the opening of his book something about standing for something as you look back over your life. I don't want to look back over my life and think or have my kids think I didn't stand for what I believed in or did not believe in.
how did you guys do it?
by Realist 22 Replies latest jw friends
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TTBoy
I fell away when I went to college 10 years ago (30 now). My entire, mom's side is JW (2 brothers and one sister, not sure about the sister) So on her side you're looking at 4 children (plus their spouses) 13 grandchildren (myself included) and 3 great grandchildren. Not to mention my great grandparents on her side who were of the "anointed". 5 generations here.
Myself and my younger brother are the only ones who left. Uncle is an elder/PO (or was) cousin's husband an elder, another cousin at Bethel in NY.
Either they except me for who I am of they can (sorry) fuck off. My borther lets this all roll off his back (i sooooo envy him)- me I have a lot of resentments.
It was hard to be a non-JW and still believe the teachings - it's even harder to be a former member and know it was all lies - that's FUC*ING hard to take!
I guess after some time you just deal with it and slyly sow seeds of distrust for the organization in them. They about shit when I told 'em I was going to the march in NY.
TT
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Scarlet
You come to a point in your life when you realize you just can not stand it anymore. I was lucky I had my husband to leave with me but we left seperately and at different times. We left once we got fed up and couldn't stand it anymore.
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onacruse
Elsewhere, I hear ya, I hear ya.
The need to make a decision? The power to make that decision? The strength to live with the cosequences of that decision?
I could offer so many experiences and explanations, but, bottom line...like Dede said...Survival. I simply reached the point where I couldn't live with myself as a JW. My strength came from the very simple fact of...I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE. It was either stay there with my leg in the trap, or knaw off my leg and escape.
And, here I am...happier and healthier than I have ever been (wounds do heal, after all). Who woulda thought?
Craig
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bikerchic
Leaving nearly killed me. There were times I wanted so much to die. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier.
((((((((((((((((Elsewhere and onacruse))))))))))))))
So very happy you survived!
For me it was a gradual fade. Eventually I just knew I never wanted to go back, there is nothing there for me. I miss some of my life long friends and family for sure, but I feel relief and peace of mind in my decision to leave.
As far as the scary armageddon stories and all the rest of the milarkey they try to scare you with, you learn to not believe any of it when you can't believe in the fundementals of how it's gods orginization on earth.
bc
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gumby
so how in the world did you get the strength to leave the org???
Easy......I got busted for using tobacco, smoking weed and taking pain pills to the max and they kicked my ass out!
Actually......this is true and was the begining of my departure.
Believe it or not .....after telling you why I was booted out.......I was raised a 3rd generation dubber and served as an Elder many years. The latter stuff came at the end.
I had questions all my life and didn't understand many things I was taught from the Bible and the Dubs. Here was my chance to re-search all my questions now that I was DFed.
Well...I did. I ordered COC from the Christian bookstore and read it and was convinced .............that the Org. was bogus.
Many painful years followed trying to get my bearings together and I'm still missing at least two of them ! .............................here bearings........heeeeear bearings
Gumby still looking for his bearings
Edited by - Gumby on 2 October 2002 3:13:37
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Amazing
Hi: If you click on the little blus globe with the red arrow to the left, it will take you to my personal website ... in there I tell of my exit in an 18 part series, each part being about 3 or 4 pages. Maybe that will give an idea of what happens ... I don't think of it as courage as much as growth, opportunity, unexpected events, and a gradual awakening to the hard reality that the Watchtower religion is not of God, nor support by some little man-made god labeled Jehovah. It is just a childish club all dressed up in ferry-tale packaging called religioin.
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Shutterbug
Blondie
That song was written by Hank Williams who died in the early 50's, at the age of 29, of drug and alcohol abuse. Apparently he never really saw the light, but that doesn't detract from the powerful words of the song. Nice to find someone here in my age group.
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concerned mama
As an outsider looking in, I was just floored by the degree of the mind control exerted by the WT. Even more strongly, I respect the courage it takes to open your mind and take that actual step through the open door. Some of you were given a little shove, but either way, to make up your mind to look at the issues with an open mind and to think is a huge step. Then, to actually LEAVE what is familiar, your family, friends, that insular society, takes guts. To admit you made a mistake takes guts. To admit you were part of a cult and you have regained your life takes courage. Give yourself some credit.
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zev
t'wasn't easy.
sometimes i just had to keep focused.
even when i knew, i was in a dark place, at a dark time in my life, i knew it was gonna get worse.
not only did that happen, but it was better than i could have hoped for.
Edited by - zev on 2 October 2002 11:15:35