You can hate for many years, but you can love for

kenpodragon

One of those subjects we all study at some point in school, is the holocaust. I remember thinking before I learned about it, that I knew all the horrors of this event already. After all, it had been mentioned on many programs. The film footage was shown often in the news, and people talked about it. My history teacher took a different approach than this. We all set down in the afternoon to watch the video that was on the subject. The instructor started the program and on the screen we saw the video footage of carnage. We saw bodies stacked up like lumber, and being pushed into mass graves. We saw people walking around looking like death, with each bone showing as if nothing existed any more, except for the skin and bone. The sunken eyes of men and woman mistreated and tortured worse then anyone could ever imagine. It was like looking at the definition of hell, as people from some religion consider it to be. In these stacks of lifeless bodies laid the smaller bodies of children, who only knew life to be hate as these people tortured them into a death they did not deserve. The movie really touched everyone, seeing all this death and hatred in one moment of time that would be there marked in our brains for a life time. The movie ended and everyone was speaking among themselves about how terrible this was, and how they hated Hitler and the Nazi party. The teacher then went to the door and invited a old man in. He was very slow in moving, yet he had one of those smiles that told you he was a loving old guy. He set down and the instructor introduced him, "Every one this is (He said his name) he is a survivor of the concentration camps and I thought you would benefit from hearing him speak." The man cleared his throat and told us about his life, his voice was strong, but we could hear the pain in his thoughts as he mentioned how he lost his entire family to the hate. He mentioned seeing his father shot in front of him, and the fear he woke to each day and the hunger he dealt with through the night. He then ended and asked if people had any questions. We raised our hands and people asked careful questions, they were afraid to ask anything that would upset him. I wanted to know something though, so I raised my hand and asked, "Do you hate the Nazi's." He paused for a minute and said, "you would think I should, right? Well I don't. You see I feel, as I have gotten older, that to hate them is to let them win. All they were was hate and anger and evil behavior. I was not that way when I went in as a young man, and I refuse to be about that after I lived through it. You can hate for many years, but you can love for a life time." Now some may say, how do you remember so many details about a class from high school that happened 13 years ago. I respond, how do you not remember something like that? It taught be a lesson that has come up more then I ever thought it would. You see when I walked away from the Jehovah's Witnesses and into the world. It was not some blind decision. No, I learned something about the real truth of the society. Something that made me realize that I could not stay in a organization of false teachings and control. So in all honestly, I was angry. I spent days upset, and night thinking about all the years I had wasted. I was in a daze for what seemed like forever, when it was really just a few months. I remember one morning getting up and talking to my wife about something else I found that was wrong. It was a beautiful morning, the sky was blue and the birds were singing a morning song. I did not notice though, I was to busy thinking about this waste of time, and those wrong teachings. I ate breakfast and started to walk to my car, on the way I passed a rose bush I planted years earlier and always took good care of. I walked by it and right there in the middle was the first rose in blown for the season. It was awesome looking, all huge and colorful and full of life. It was weird, as I stood looking at this flower I got this amazing flashback in life and I remembered something from high school. It was this old Jewish man, and he said these words "You can hate for many years, but you can love for a life time" and my mind suddenly woke up. I realized, in all of my frustration about the Witnesses and the time they took from my life. I was actually losing more time with the anger and frustration, when I should have been living it. I should have been reading things I wanted too, learning new things, going new places and basically loving and not hating. If this old man could love after what he had seen, then I could love after what I had seen. It was time to learn to live again, and I was ready to go. Life is so much about these small lessons and things mentioned we never think will apply. The joy to me, is finding the reason for them later. Funny thing is, that trigger to find joy was such a simple thing. "I just needed to stop and smell the roses" and thus I remembered "You can hate for many years, but you can love for a life time." My thought Dragon

DakotaRed

Ken, I think that is one of the most eloquent and profound posts I have ever read here. Thank you for reminding us that hate lets them win and drags us down with it.

What wisdom that old man showed with "You can hate for many years, but you can love for a life time"

Lew W

blondie

That is true, anger should not be held onto forever. But it is part of the grieving process (and something has been lost here, time, family, money, effort with the WTS). How long it lasts depends on the individual. One can even move back to that stage for awhile when new circumstances trigger the need. Each one here is at a different point, is a different person with different resources. There is no set timetable on this road most of us are on. I can remember the depth of my anger 20 years ago. I no longer feel that way. I see my abuser as a sad old man with no friends, no future, running from place to place until his secret is found out. My abuser is not repentant and is still a danger.

I look into the eyes of each and every elder on his JC and see them turn away in shame, but only one elder out of the whole body ever apologized to us for their mistakes that gave my father 9 more years to molest all my siblings.

So, Kepdragon, I'm glad you have learned and mastered moving on. Some have already moved on here, and some will when they are ready in their own time.

Windchaser

I agree, Lew. We have to go through stages when we've been hurt, deceived and abused. Whether these things come from the governing body or someone you care about, you can move on and love again.

JosephMalik

kenpodragon,

Exposing the Watchtower for the evil it does is not hate. It is a function of our ministry and love for truth. Bringing people out of the Watchtower into the freedom of the Sons of God is not hate but an act of love and our responsibility. This is what our dedication to Jesus is all about. Some are disgusted and are still looking for direction and an outlet for their emotions. This may be considered hate by some. But our Lord is faithful and will lead such ones to his kingdom and all of us here can help. That is all I have to say.

Joseph

Beck_Melbourne

The WT society has hurt us in different ways...some more than others. I used to ponder over the life I COULD have had if it wasn't for the jw's. But that is not productive thinking and it only hinders my ability to get on with life and enjoy the simple thing such as smelling the roses.

btw...what colour were the roses??

Beck

kenpodragon

I am terrible with rose names, but it was white with a reddish edge. It has gotten much larger now, and when ever I see them. I smile.

Take Care

Dragon

COMF

Great post, Ken.

plmkrzy

Kenpo, good essey, mission statement, memo...

Beck

it only hinders my ability to get on with life and enjoy the simple thing such as smelling the roses.

amen to that, but

btw...what colour were the roses??

tell me why, why oh why, did my roses turn black over night?

No kidding. I got a dozen long stemed red roses one time and they turned black over night.Not wilted...firm and black as coal. I would have liked them if they were suppose to be that color. Talk about paranoia setting in...big time. I still don't know how that happened.

Edited by - plmkrzy on 2 October 2002 1:23:50

Edited by - plmkrzy on 2 October 2002 1:24:5

kenpodragon

A rose is like a moment in life. If you do not take the time to actually enjoy it for what it is. It could be lost before you knew it was even there. Thus the reason to take more time to enjoy them while we have them, and remember them all the more when they are gone.

Sorry, I am in one of those "deep mental moments" this evening. LOL

Take Care

Dragon

PS : I feel surrounded by roses of many colors, when I think of all the great people in my life.

You can hate for many years, but you can love for

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