I agree. That is what makes me so sick to my stomach, they seem so good on the outside ,yet inside we know the truth. I guess you just want people to see that you/we are not the evil ones. I guess being known for being an apostate by the people I grew up with , and the stigma that gives , you want to tell your side. But they won't listen, and it makes you angry that they are so blind,,or as you said brainwashed. My dad is in my circuit and he is looked upon by many, as a wonderful man. For years , I went along with everyone's idea of what he was, knowing it really wasnt true, but I loved him anyway. For years , I knew the truth and like you said , the cold way he treated me was masked by all his wonderful WT works. He spent pioneer time in service, donated large sums of money to KH buildings, he is a contractor so he was used extensively, he visited old ones at hospitals, helped certain ones with their homes from falling in, etc. These were good things, I am not denying any of it. But what about my sister and me, I not only was his family but his family in the faith too. And he never did any of those things for me. Everything he did was to make himself look better in the immediate circuit, because others would tell me , all the things my dad had done for them. And all I wanted was a call.
When he did call , he talked for 30 mins on all of the above things he was doing and how busy he was . More or less , giving me an excuse for his lack of attention in my life. Oh well, I said, maybe he just doesnt see it like I do. Then I told him how I felt, words for a moment of how we would get closer, then again months of nothing. I am finished with him and I really get sick of hearing myself talk about it.... lol..... but I know there are many out there who are going thru the same thing.
It is with great amazement the similarities between the WT and the way my own dad operates. I guess he is a company man so to speak. He has patterned himself right down to the detail on how they double talk, dance around a subject and their outright lack of love.
This is what I am angry about. They are trying to prove to the world how great they are, and many believe it. I can't even stomach the hypocrisy and self righteousness they practice.
But I am trying to live a happy life, I have a great husband, great kids, and many other blessings. I just am sickened to think of the FUTURE victims of the WT and wonder what I can do , if anything to stop them. I guess that is why I tell my story, maybe it will help someone know they are not alone, and that when you first get out of JW you will see what true christians, and what true humanity is.
