10 Years ago today...

done4good

I mentally awoke. It took another 6 months or so to walk away for good, but this date marked the end of my belief in any conventional sense of the word.

d4g

Magnum

I wish I could have an anniversary like that, but, for me, it was such a gradual thing that I can't pinpoint a certain time.

Phizzy

I can pinpoint certain times in my awakening fairly accurately, and the day I walked out of the K.H for good I know for certain. March 23rd 2008.

I am now so ex-XJW I don't even bother to celebrate that date like I did at first, I have stopped looking back, except when prompted to by Posts on here.

Congratulations to all on the Road to Freedom and Happiness, however long you have been on it

Gulf Coaster

Happy Anniversary. That's an anniversary worth celebrating. It doesn't just mark a date but the freedom and relief that your life and your mind are your own.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Congrats d4g!

Magnum: I wish I could have an anniversary like that, but, for me, it was such a gradual thing that I can't pinpoint a certain time.

For people like us, we don't have to have one special day each year... we can celebrate EVERY DAY as a special day free from the cult!

millie210

I just went back and read your story.

You have done really well with your life and 10 years is noteworthy

good for you done4

sparrowdown

So after 10 yrs is it still painful?

Please tell me the pain goes away eventually.

done4good

Magnum - I wish I could have an anniversary like that, but, for me, it was such a gradual thing that I can't pinpoint a certain time.

Actually, the ability to pinpoint that moment took some time. Many things become clearer in hindsight. Had I been 100% aware of that moment's significance at the time, I probably would have walked away there and then. Initially, I tried to forget about what I figured out that day. However, one cannot "unlearn" what they know. As such, I gradually became less and less involved over the next six months or so, until I decided I had little reason to stay.

Reflecting on "why" I left after being completely out for about 3 or 4 months brought that moment into focus.

d4g

done4good

Millie210 - Thank you.

done4good

Sparrowdown - So after 10 yrs is it still painful?
Please tell me the pain goes away eventually.

I am trying not to post at work, but this deserves a response.

I am not sure the experience is the same for everyone. I walked away rather unscathed, and was ecstatic to do so when I did. I would not do a thing differently, in fact. Does that mean that there is no pain ever? Hardly. Like most here, I lost family and friends. I could not stand to play the game and fake it. The response of most of those folks to my leaving I really do take almost a cavalier attitude toward, not because I would not welcome them if they decided to reach out, rather because I know my life is better lived honestly. If they don't care about my well being, then I just move on.

Much more recently I felt the full blow of being shunned by a loved one, that I suppose I avoided for many years. I did avoid her really because deep down I feared that outcome. I know that now. Funny thing is, when I first reached out to her, it went surprisingly well for a few months, (basically, it was viewed I was just "inactive"), until my story came out. And when it did slam!, the door was shut, and probably for good. Yep, that shun hurt like a bitch. It still does, and I likely would not be here still posting otherwise. The pain ebbs and flows.

All of that said, don't let anyone take your authentic self away. Maintaining one's true self is worth any pain it may seem to cause.You will be a richer person for it.

d4g

10 Years ago today...

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