Lisab, very good points!
The shunning begins
by LovesDubs 17 Replies latest jw friends
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Monster
Hi Lovesdubs,
I just want you to explain the impression you got from your mother inlaws letter. Because I am getting something different.
A couple of years wasted! But when I realize how much I have learned by the experience, I know it wasn't wasted. There were a lot of lessons to be learned. I wouldn't want to do it again, but I have to admit that I did learn a lot, especially about myself.
I know that when I was OUT, I trashed the organization many times. But many times I knew it was because I was angry with being shunned. How dare them! Well, of course, we both know the scriptures are there! I hated being viewed as an apostate! But I was. The scriptures are there! I am not proud of my conduct over the last few years. I made a lot of mistakes. I am going to try and correct them. (She is so full of crap at this point, I could barely finish this)
Here I am getting that she's being honest with herself. She learned somethings about herself, she reconginzed her mistakes. She even admits why she trashed the organization. I have never read anywhere on here where an xjws has admited this before. (But I have been only reading for a few months on here).
In both states here, she's asking you to meet her half way. She doesn't want to shun you and it's not her intentions, she even say's she broke the rules to show her love for you. How many of you have complained about not being shown love by family memebers who are still in?It is not my intention to shun you D. I didn't like it before, and you viewed me as a hypocrite then, because I hugged you and told you I missed you, when I knew I shouldn't. I don't think it will be any different this time. (oh yes it will...I wont allow her around me) You will find me a hypocrite again, probably already do. It upsets me to think that you will view me that way, but I honestly can't do anything about that. I will try to obey the rules (and whose rules are those? Gods??) as best I can, but love you as always, and hope to convey that as best I can under the circumstances.
If you would please shun the negativity, and speak kindly and respectfully of what I believe, I don't see why we can't still be family. I certainly won't try to correct you or speak disrespectfully of your decision to do what you believe is best.
I'm sorry if the kids are confused. Tell them Grandma loves Jehovah and wants to serve him again. Tell them I think I made a lot of mistakes, and that I want to correct them. Tell them I love them, please.
She's asking you to let the children know it's not them it's just her, she wants to make some corrections in her life. wheather agree with them or not it's still something she feels she needs to do.
(Im not telling my kids jack shit...Im not her messenger)
And that's your choice not to give the message their grandmother gave to you to give to them. Why not just tell her to stop by and give the message to the children in person? I hate to see children suffer because of adult disagreements.
Did I read all of this wrong?
Peace James
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Mary
"...Of course I am happy to contemplate the time when C and I will be together again, and I can talk to P and the kids...."
Don't let her fool you with the holier-than-thou-this-is-the-truth crap......the real reason she's going back is noted above. There are many many sisters who cannot handle being on their own and will do anything to keep a man in their lives even if it means becoming a dub again when they know full well it's not the truth.
No doubt when she does get re-instated, that JWs will hold this up as an example of "whom Jehovah loves, he disciplines".
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Valis
She's asking you to let the children know it's not them it's just her, she wants to make some corrections in her life. wheather agree with them or not it's still something she feels she needs to do.
Bullshit! If that's what she meant then that's what she should have said. Instead she has to sling jehovah around and guilt/scare the kids into understanding what she means...please do try again and explain why such reasoning or language is appropriate for kids to hear.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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Monster
please do try again and explain why such reasoning or language is appropriate for kids to hear.
She said, "tell the childern I love them" what in that is inappropriate?
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Monster
I know you don't have to do this, I am asking you to break the letter down to me so I can understand it the same way the rest of you understand it. If it's not something you really want to explain, I will respect that and understand.
Peace James.
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lisaBObeesa
Monster,
I think at firstI was reading this letter like you are. (Except for the 'tell the kids I love Jehovah and want to serve him' crap. I'll get to that in a second.)
LovesDubs made another post called "Dear Mommy Dearest". When I read that, I saw this letter in a whole new way. You might want to check it out.
As for the 'tell the kids I love Jehovah and want to serve Him.' If you don't know what is wrong with this guilt trip, stop for a second and imagine saying this to YOUR children about their grandparent. Telling them this infers that you, the parent DOESN'T love God (or else you would be like grandma...)
Anyway... hope that helps..
-LisaBOBeesa
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Monster
Telling them this infers that you, the parent DOESN'T love God (or else you would be like grandma...)
Got it! Thanks Lisa, that's why I asked for the letter to be broken down to me; if I didn't get that part I guess it's possible I misunderstood some of the other parts.
Peace James