Disfellowshipping Without Judicial Meeting?

by Coqui 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  Coqui

  Sorry if I keep coming back to this but I need clarification.

  Can I be DF if I am doing certain activities ie. birthdays, holidays, attending another church? I've been away from the Borg for two months. When the elders catch wind of any of these activities they will certainly come a callin. If I don't talk with them, not admitting to any of this but it is obvious what I am doing, will they DF me?

  My point is I'd rather drift but I beieve they will DF me without one of their little meetings and without my knowledge of this. My current preference is

  1. drift away

  2. DA before they DF me

  I understand the argument of drifting and not playing by their rules and would actually like to persuad a few friends and then just F%#@ around with others.

  Any thoughts!!!
• 

  LovesDubs

  They dont even have to call you to label you as disassociated. They can by what they observe, label you as "having disassociated yourself" and just do it in absentia. They may not call it difellowshipping, but like attending another church, your actions kick you out automatically. Like the way that they have automatic disassocation for anyone who takes a blood transfusion now. It eliminates them having to be the "bad guys" if they say you "did it to yourself."
• 

  Coqui

  LovesBubs,

  But would they label me as having "disassociating myself by my actions", without a formal DA letter from me? Or would they just DF me for my open behavior with or without notice to me?
• 

  email

  Hi coqui!

  Welcome...

  I suggest you read their secret elders manual... it is posted on several sites... and that should give you an idea of what they MIGHT do... but, as many of us know... they always end up doing whatever they feel is the "right thing to do"... like in my case (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=37939&site=3)

  I really understand your position... and believe me... I tried doing the EXACT same thing... the only way I can see it working is if you move to a place where you don't know anyone... and you don't talk to any of your friends and/or family about the new life and things that you have learned (in my case that was too hard to do). Otherwise is really hard... but we all understand what you're going through...

  If you DA yourself... for them It's EXACTLY the same thing as a DF... they will treat you the same... that's the way they are instructed to behave.

  I wish you the best!... I read your first post and I wish that I could have more people (family) going out with me... you still have your family and now... a support group here that will listen and try to give you advice.

  Take care,

  email
• 

  Amazing

  Hi Coqui: The Elder's manual, often refered to the "Flock" book, will not give you that much information. As Email stated it is posted on a couple of sites ... for all the secrecy it is shrouded in, it is not that big a deal in content ... there is little that JWs don't already know about ... what IS of interest in that book is not what the Society printed, but the notes taken by oral instruction during KM school ... and unfortunately you will not see those notes on line.

  You will most likely be Disassociated. Typically, half way fair Elders will at least try to call on you to see if these things are true and what your intentions are. Whether they get hold of you or not will not affect whether they take some action. Most often, if they determine with some level of evidence (JW style evidence that is, the word of a couple of accusers) ... then you will be deemed to have Disassociated yourself. This is essentially what happened to me.

  You can also be Disfellowshipped if they have contacted you by phone or mail, and you fail to appear at the Judicial Committee hearing ... this will be seen as unrepentance, and used to make the decision to DF. However, if you have joined the military you will never be Disfellowshipped, but only DA - a distinction without a difference, except in the event that they are taken to court, your DA will be held as your action and not theirs ... this is merely a ploy to save their backside - a holdover from problems they had during earlier wars.

  PS: You can even be DF'd over the phone ... I posted this in one of my Justice Series.

  Edited by - Amazing on 7 October 2002 12:37:43
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  freedom96

  They will find out, and if they can, they will absolutely do everything within their power to df or da you. Just be on the look out. As soon as they try something, then you can go ahead a da yourself if that is what you want.
• 

  Reborn2002

  I concur with Amazing's statements.

  The Watchtower policy regarding disfellowshipping is rather flexible, so that the elders can do practically whatever they wish as long as it serves their current purposes. The bottom line is, if the local body of elders wants to DF you, they will find a reason to do so.

  • If they attempt to contact you, and you do not respond, they may construe it as unrepentance, and you will be disfellowshipped in absentia.
  • If you are committing some course of action which is contrary to current Watchtower beliefs, and they have two witnesses to testify to that effect (as Amazing said, "the word of a couple of accusers") you will be formally disassociated. They see it as your own actions display that you no longer consider yourself a Jehovah's Witness.

  I hope this information helps.

  Edited by - Reborn2002 on 7 October 2002 13:41:49
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  Reborn2002

  I wanted to add that what you decide to do depends largely on what you are comfortable with.

  If you have family or friends who remain Jehovah's Witnesses that you would like to maintain some level of contact with, I would recommend slowly drifting away without being DF'ed or DA'ed. Granted, they look down on those who are "inactive", but at least by their own rules they will be allowed to speak to you.

  On the other hand, if you wish to show some level of defiance toward the Watchtower Society, and want to let it be known that it was you who rejected them, then you can disassociate yourself, and let it be known publicly that you no longer consider yourself a Jehovah's Witness in any fashion.

  I wish you luck and peace as you find your way.

  Edited by - Reborn2002 on 7 October 2002 13:47:2
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  Coqui

  Thanks for the information everyone!

  I have been around this group of people long enough that you would think I would know exactly how this process worked. I am embarassed that for so many years I just accepted so much so blindly.

  I never was williing to accept that I was involved in a cult but now I see the how the mind control and fear factor has truly affected me and my wife. How sad!!! This morning my wife was crying because she is afraid of what these minions are going to say about her if she is DA or DF, ie. what an unloving mother, she and her beautiful young kids will be destroyed at the big A. I saw today how the fear and mind control have gripped us for so long.

  No looking back!!!!!
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  orangefatcat

  I was disfellowshipped in absentia, I respectfully refused to go to the commitee meetings that the judicial meetings but I wrote a letter explaining my reseans why I refused. Then they sent me another letter and I sent them another letter saying I explained in my first letter my position in the first letter why I wasn't going to attend and then two weeks later I was disfellowshipped. At no time was I rude in any of my letters I was respectful. That was nearly three yrs ago and not one of them has contacted me and they all know where I live..Not even for the memorial.