I never was williing to accept that I was involved in a cult but now I see the how the mind control and fear factor has truly affected me and my wife. How sad!!! This morning my wife was crying because she is afraid of what these minions are going to say about her if she is DA or DF, ie. what an unloving mother, she and her beautiful young kids will be destroyed at the big A. I saw today how the fear and mind control have gripped us for so long.
When you leave the Jehovah's Witnesses, be prepared for them to gossip. It is the only way they can rationalize to themselves that they are doing the right thing. If they continually tell themselves that someone who dares leave is going to be destroyed, or they maliciously slander someone who exits the cult, then in doing so they are trying to make themselves feel better about their pathetic life spent peddling magazines.
Disfellowshipping is ALL about a guilt trip or shaming. You are above that. The best revenge is to live life, and to live it well. Those who gossip about you behind your back are surely not your friends, and since when did they pay your bills or put food on your table? Fuck what they think.
Make your exit, and do not look back. They are not worth wasting another day of your life worrying over.
I wish you and your wife the best. Thousands of examples are available on this discussion board of those who made it. You can make it too. If you rely on each other, you will come out of this stronger.