Hard to celebrate holidays after leaving the Org.?

by santacruzchick 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • JWinSF
    JWinSF

    Personal reactions to Holidays:

    Birthdays -- Love 'em.

    Halloween -- My high Holiday of the year --- religious in nature [pagan], but that's probably why I like it so much -- Earth based spirituality vs. man made religiosity

    New Year's Eve -- My second to high Holiday of the year.

    Thanksgiving --- Yup, but even the Dubz celebrated that but would never, ever actually admit to it.

    Nationalistic Holidays [4th of July, Memorial Day, etc.] -- Of course I love the time off, but I'm only into the spirit of the Holiday, not the letter. For example, honoring those who've given their lives [I hope that 9/11 is given consideration as a possible future Holiday] I'm fine with. However, if it gets to Nationalism, e.g., "my country right of wrong", definitely not, as that's too cult-like for me.

    Christmas, Easter, --- no, no, no --- I don't mind the present giving, or parties associated with those times of year [but I can leave them as well], but the religious aspect of them leave me cold --- I don't like any reminders of Christianity and the problems that it has caused/continues to cause mankind. [I'm not singling out Chrisitanity, either. I view all organized religions as being essentially problematic to greater or lesser degrees.]

    John W Wirtanen

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy
    Thanksgiving --- Yup, but even the Dubz celebrated that but would never, ever actually admit to it.

    So funny that you say that JWinSF! My family has always celebrated thanksgiving. We go to grandma's, she cooks a turkey, we watch football and pass out on the couch. But we are just there for a thursday lunch I guess...too funny!

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    The only hard part about the holidays is I keep forgetting them!

    When I do remember, I have plenty of fun.

  • stichione
    stichione

    I am an inactive Dub and would love to celebrate Christmas with my wife and 3 kids. My kids who are all under 11 would go for it, but my wife how is also inactive would not. That kind of puts a damper on everything. And plus the risk of getting caught by Dub family and friends and the eventual df'ing would definitely not be worth it.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    I think you will find there are a lot of second and third generation dubs who take to the pagan celebrations cautiously. It is a trend that I have noticed on here for a while...and I can understand why.

    When I first left, I didn't celebrate anything...I was a worldly but I wasn't going to be a pagan. The second year I was out Andy and I exchanged gifts on our birthdays...but Christmas I still shyed away from. By the third year we spent Christmas at his sisters and I exchanged gifts but never really invited the festivities into my own home, no tree etc. By the fourth year, we went all out. It was meant to be my gift to Andy, as I had denied him a real Christmas for the past 4 years. And so we did the whole tree thing, sent out Chrissy cards and hung up all the ones we received and I took the kids christmas shopping...it was great. This year will be even better...I am trying to catch up on all the years missed...as I only have a few left before my kid will be grown up and will leave home...so I'm going to indulge and I don't feel guilty anymore!

    ~Beck~

  • garybuss
    garybuss



    I find the holidays are not important to me. I have to force myself to remember birthdays and get out and buy gifts and cards. Christmas is easier. It only comes once a year. Birthdays are much harder.


    gb



  • pharisee
    pharisee

    Its funny you bring up this topic at this time. My dad called last night and he plans to come and visit me from out of town in November or December. I warned him that if he comes to visit in December, not to be offended by the "Holiday Spirit" that we will be displaying. Then he replies "so you feel guilty" I said "no, I feel guilty for you!" That ticked him off. You see he has not gone to meetings for years, he thinks he's "out" of the borg, but mentally he's not their yet. His wife was out for years, but the September 11th thing got her "spooked" so she's back to meetings just in case. (makes me laugh).

    We started participating in all the holidays several years ago , and we have a great time with it. You dont realize how fun and harmless it really is until you experience it for yourself.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    The only hard part about the holidays is I keep forgetting them!

    Boy no kidding! I never remember my birthday. Sometimes I'll go a couple of days past before I remember. Actually birthdays never were a big deal to me, even when I was a kid.

    I'm glad this thread is here because we're going through this exact situation with our 8 year old. We're letting her attend her first birthday party in a couple of weeks. My wife and I are certain lightning will strike us down first. It is strange to even consider it. But we both sat down with her and talked it out. She told us that she is very curious about what a birthday party is like but she said she "feels weird in my stomach" about it. We told her that if going causes any guilt feelings or she feels bad about herself in any way, then she needs to tell us. If it does then I would think that maybe we're going a little too fast. Her birthday is coming up, but I don't think my wife and I are ready to actually have our own birthday party just yet. Maybe next year.

    I'm not ready for Christmas and Easter yet. Birthdays are enough for right now.

  • pharisee
    pharisee

    Birthday's are a good way to start Tex. Thats what we did, and then we progressed to other holidays.

    Our kids will never feel that guilt like we may, because they were never JW's, ain't it great!

    Best wishes!

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Pharisee

    You know it's not only the guilt, but it's also all the rules that limit everything you can do. There were so many things I wanted to do (college for one) but couldn't because it was forbidden. You're right, our kids won't ever know about that. Thank God!

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