Please Can You Advise My Ex?

Englishman

I recently mentioned that my ex-wife Cindy had lost her father in very unpleasant circumstances. I spoke to her yesterday, and she gave me some information that I would like to share. Hopefully, I can garner some useful information here that I can pass on to her via an email link to this site.

Cindy's aged father was a devout JW. When Cindy was DF'd many years ago, he moved away to live closer to Cindy's sister Kate and husband, some one and a half hours drive away from Cindy. He lived in a warden controlled flat so's to allow him to be independant, while at the same time someone would always be close by if he needed any help at all.

About 2 weeks ago, Cindy's father collapsed and died whilst cooking. He was not found for 4 days.

Now that the funeral is over, Cindy is, very understandably, extremely angry that Berkshire County Council, who are responsible for their warden controlled apartments, did not fulfill their obligations to her father by keeping a closer eye on him. Yesterday she telephoned them, and met such a wall of indifference and carelessness that she telephoned the Daily Mail newspaper to inform them of the County Councils neglect. She reasoned that if she made an issue out of this, at least someone else could be spared the pain of what she had gone through.

The Daily Mail showed great interest in this story, and are contacting her later today for more information.

After her contact with the Daily Mail, Cindy then phoned her JW relatives to tell them of what she was doing. She met with a hostile reception, her brother in law asking her "did she really want her fathers name plastered all over the pages of a newspaper?", and advised her to drop it.

It was at this point that Cindy realised that she was "holding a hot potato" as far as JW's are concerned, and that her brother in law's objections could well have more to do with his fear of JW's being shown as being inattentive to their elderly memebers, rather than any genuine concern for the reputation of the deceased. After all, her father was a devout JW, a meeting attender and vocal supporter, so one would expect that the congregation memebers would also keep a close watch on their infirm members. The fact that his body lay undiscovered for 4 days speaks volumes for the concerns of the local congregation.

Now, so far, Cindy hasn't even mentioned the witness element to the Daily Mail, and is wondering whether she should or not when she sees them later today.

What do you think? What advice would you give to Cindy?

Englishman.

og

She would be telling the truth, and giving the WTS bad publicity; sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Brummie

Seems the warden and the JWs share a common ground...neglect!

Expose them both to the newspapers, the JWs wont be so slow to see if he had a written will.

Condolences to Cindy and the family on his passing away, this must be a real blow.

Regards

Brummie

Francois

I think she should continue to expose the JWs for what they are. They're fast becoming known as pedophiles. Let 'em now also be known as a youth-oriented cult who have no interest in their individual older members. In fact, individuals mean nothing to the JWs; it's only thier cumulative numbers in which they have any interest at all.

francois

Prisca

When Cindy was DF'd many years ago, he moved away to live closer to Cindy's sister Kate and husband

So where was Kate for those 4 days?

I can understand Cindy's hurt, and she may well have a story to tell, but she should be careful that the story doesn't make her and her family look bad, not to mention the JWs.

Englishman

Prisca,

Indeed, my thoughts too, where was Kate?

Out in the ministry work saving lives, perhaps?

Englishman.

Nathan Natas

I agree with everyone who has said that Cindy should go full steam ahead. By telling her father's story she CAN make a difference, both by improving conditions of elderly housing and exposing the hypocisy of the JWs, including her sister and brother in law.

How can people who have "the trooth(tm)" be so afraid of THE TRUTH?

My condolences to Cindy on the loss of her father.

Max Divergent

Condolences for the sad loss.

You refered to congo members not calling in the four days and that being too long for an elderly man. Could someone say that family members should have called him on the phone sometime in those four days and raised the alarm when he didn't answer after a few attempts? That would be any easy reply and hurt the family more.

Was there an arrangement by the family for the JW's to call on a regular basis? If there wasn't, then that might be another easy reply that might hurt the family. Even if there was an arrangement to call every two or three days or whatever, then a four day window could be missed easily, especially if people weren't especially concerned thinking he was supervised or if his death was unexpected?

I'd just be concerned about the possible consequences of adding a deliberate religious attack to the grief of a father's passing.

Max

(Edited several times for sensitivity! )

Edited by - Max Divergent on 11 October 2002 9:46:57

ignored_one

Englishman,

Was Cindy being shunned by her father and siblings?

I'm thinking that if her father refused to say, answer the phone to her etc then how could she have known he had been dead for 4 days. She would have probably thought that he was just ignoring her calls.

Just a rambling moment from Iggy. I'll edit it I my brain starts working.

Ignored One.

Englishman

Interesting point there, Max.

Actually, Cindy did ring her father, she did not know that he had been dead for 2 days already.

I'll tell you why this is really bugging me. My Mum is what is known as a fashionably popular witness who can simper with the best of 'em or tut tut as and when required to. She's aged 80 and gets daily visits from dozens of her witness cronies, and crows about this quite openly. Cindy's dad could be quite abrasive, but nonetheless was a firmly devoted JW but not an easy man to be with for any length of time. He actually referred to elders as "managers".

So you can see the picture that's developing here, he was not that popular so he didn't get the attention that other's get. Also I'm sure that Kate and dubby hubby are feeling quite guilty about all this. The most caring one of the whole bunch is the disfellowshipped one. Ironic.

Englishman.

Please Can You Advise My Ex?

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