I'll take a crack at this. The first answer is what a JW likely would say. The second is closer to the truth.
What is a Jehovah Witness?
Someone who worships our God Jehovah as a member of the religion called Jehovah's Witnesses.
Someone who pretends to worship the God Jehovah as a member of the religion called Jehovah's Witnesses, but actually worships the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses.
What made you decide to join the Jehovah Witnesses?
The wonderful spiritual truths they teach.
Pressure from parents, a long time being in a sore spot and falling prey to cult tactics.
Are you happy being a witness?
Perfectly.
I'm miserable but won't admit it because we teach that we are perfectly happy.
Why do you go door to door?
To teach people the wonderful hope of God's rapidly approaching Kingdom.
Because the Governing Body says we must.
How often do you meet for services?
Typically: Formal meetings: Sunday public talk and study of our main journal The Watchtower; Tuesday Theocratic Ministry School and Service Meeting; Thursday Congregation Book Study. Meetings for Field Service: Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon, sometimes Wednesday evening. Informal: Monday night personal/family Watchtower study; other times reserved for personal Bible study, preparation for meetings.
Way too often.
What is the significance of the number 144,000?
It is the exact number of Christ's spiritual brothers who will inherit Jehovah's Kingdom as heavenly creatures.
Absolutely nothing.
Why do Witnesses refuse blood transfusions?
Because the Bible forbids them, based on Acts 15.
Because the Governing Body says to.
Why do Witnesses refuse organ transplants?
That is old light!
Because the Governing Body said to.
Are you allowed to serve in the military?
No, because the Bible says we must not kill.
No, because the Governing Body says not to.
What is the WatchTower?
The Watchtower magazine is the main journal of Jehovah's Witnesses. The Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania is the main legal entity through which our beloved Governing Body instructs us.
As above. Except that "the Watchtower Society" = "the Society" = God.
Why dont you celebrate holidays or birthdays?
Because the Bible forbids it. It amounts to partaking in pagan or God-dishonoring celebrations.
Because the Governing Body says not to.
: Those were the easy questions. I almost hate asking these next few because I dont want to offend anyone and not have them answer the questions. So if I offend anyone with these next questions I sincerely apologize, I have to ask them because I read about these issues on the internet.
What is with the date 1975?
I don't know what you're talking about. But, I've heard that some apostates claim that the Society predicted that 1975 would bring Armageddon, but that's a lie. Besides, it got everyone ready for Armageddon and sifted out those who were only serving for a date anyway, and that's a good thing.
The Watchtower Society began alluding in 1966 to the date 1975 as the date by which Armageddon would likely come. By 1969 the allusions had grown to outright predictions. By about 1974 not all that many JWs put emotional stock in the date any more. By 1979 over half a million JWs had quit because of being disappointed or disgusted in yet another false prediction.
Who is Frederick W. Franz?
The late Brother Franz was the Vice President of the Watchtower Society from 1942 through 1977; from 1977 to his death in 1992 he was President. He was a Rhodes Scholar and the best Bible scholar ever to grace the halls of Bethel.
More or less as above, except that Franz considered himself to be the only one capable of spiritual leadership of the JW organization. He was a brilliant lunatic. He was the only real translator for the WTS's Bible, The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures. He was not a Rhodes Scholar but made statements that misled his followers to think he was.
Does the WatchTower contradict itself?
Never.
Always.
Are you really shunned if you are thrown out?
Yes, and our stand on disfellowshipping is biblically based.
Better believe it.
Are you allowed to study any version of the bible or do you have to use study guides?
We use all Bible translations.
They are allowed to use any version, but in practice frown upon any JW who regularly uses anything but the NWT.
Do you have doubts about this religion?
Absolutely not!
Better believe it! That's why JWs are so deathly afraid of talking with critics. They term critics who were once JWs "apostates" -- a typical cultish thought-stopping term -- but in practice they apply the term to all critics. Of course, all members of "appostate Christendom" (non-JW Christians) are also "apostates", but individual JWs are extremely uncomfortable with that and tend to avoid using the term in such a way.
AlanF