A Teenager Tomorrow - The Pain Still Lingers

Stephanus

My daughter would be turning 13 tomorrow, if she were still alive. It's been nearly 5 years since her death, and yet the pain and the sense of incalculable loss is still there. Her birthday is one of the hardest times of the year - one where the hurt really manifests itself - we should have been having a big party, but all we have to remember her by is a hard cold lump of stone with her name on it.

Funchback

Stephanus... I wish I had more than mere words to comfort you with. Enjoy the good memories and take time tomorrow to reflect on what made your daugther special. Take care as best you can under the difficult circumstances.

Funch

Beck_Melbourne

I'm sorry Stephanus...for you and your wife and family. I get emotional when I think about the loss of a child, not just because of my own personal loss, but also for those who battle with life and try to make some sense out of why these things happen, and how to deal with them.

Life is complex, and so is death. I don't have the answers, and I don't have the most comforting words to share, all I know is that it hurts, and no one can lighten that hurt for you, it is just there, like lead, and you will carry it around til the day die.

All you can do, is let the hurt surface as it does each birthday and anniversary, and when that moment has passed, you brace yourself and say "hey I got through another year" and then you gear up for the next one. Just go with the cycle, because you can't stop it from happening, all you can do is survive it. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

(((((Stephenus and Family)))))

~Beck~

bitter mango

(((steph and fam))) love ya. take care.

Mackin

Hey there Stephanus and Family,

I didn't know you had lost a daughter, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what that must be like. I wish I could be inOz this weekend to spend some time with you.

{{{{{{{{Stephanus and Family}}}}}}}}}

Mackin.

Big Tex

Stephanus

Damn, I am so sorry for what you're feeling right now. I feel even more badly for who you have lost. It's not fair. I've got two children and I cannot imagine how painful it would be to lose one or both of them. I know how scared I was when my son came down with arthritis back in May of this year. I listened to him screaming in pain night after night and there was nothing I could do to stop it for him. Sometimes it seems like life is what happens when you make plans.

Take care . . .

Stephanus

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and words. Admittedly, it does get slightly easier with each passing year, probably in the way that a toothache is better than a migraine, I guess.

Mackin, I learned very early in the piece that if there's one sure conversation stopper, that was it! Interestingly, it was the unkind words of a zealous Dub lady about my daughter's death, within a month of its occurrence, which got me involved in this anti-Dub stuff. She is pictured below, witnessing to my neighbours at a later date (you always said you were in favour of naming and shaming):

A Teenager Tomorrow - The Pain Still Lingers

Stephanus

Funchback

Beck_Melbourne

bitter mango

Mackin

Big Tex

Stephanus

SYN

Angharad

ugg

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