Is it weakness to walk away? (page 2)

onacruse

When the debate degrades to mud-slinging, I tune out and turn off. Rather have a prostate exam than put up with that kind of....

And the mud-slingers? I just LOVE the "ignore" button.

As for Bush...he was never even on my radar hehe

Craig

metatron

Depending on the circumstance, passive resistance can be more effective - because
you can sometimes 'fly under the radar' apart from creating a hardened defensive
response.

Example: dealing with a contentious mate. whatever they demand, just say

"Yes, dear" - in a humorous, phoney tone of voice. There's no way to answer this
and they get frustrated - but never enough to escalate into killing you or leaving.

It even gets funny after a while.

"you never listen to what I say"

"Yes, dear"

"I mean it, you just turn off whenever I speak"

"Yes, dear"

"Oh,....... shut up!"

"Yes, dear"

metatron

wasasister

...When you are within a hot verbal intercourse session, you think deeper...

Are you trying to say something??

I think you and I are talking about different forms of arguing. (See Monte Python episode, "Argument")

I have been known to enjoy a heated exchange with people who disagree passionately with me. I always find that if I really listen, I come away with a better understanding of the opposing view. Not that it necessarily changes my mind, but at least I comprehend where they are coming from. Often, it serves to reinforce and give dimension to my own point of view.

However, that having been said, I find the recent ugliness being hashed out on this board and elsewhere both annoying and pointless. When my sister and I were little, we often would get in a fight around dinner time. My mother, patient saint that she was, would try to persuade us to make peace. Inevitably, we would be sent to bed early, but since we shared a room the fight would not end. (What did end, as I see clearly now as an adult, was her having to put up with us.) Long into the wee hours of the night, we would be exhausted and more than likely could not remember what we had been fighting about in the first place. But neither one would give up. "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" Untill we could barely manage, "not!" "too!"

Fortunately, most of us grow out of that phase.

There is a point at which we realise nothing is being acomplished other than hurting back because we hurt. That's when most of us would make the choice to walk away.

My thoughts.

expatbrit

Wasa:

I think I'm going to come out West, throw you over my camel, and make you my seventh wife.

Elexpatbinbrit

pettygrudger

Wasa -

I agree with you. It isn't a "heated debate" when one has to resort to name calling, taunting and flinging insults. My children are experts at this, as we all were at one time.

It takes strength to walk away while being insulted, when you've come to the conclusion that the discussion is not really a debate on the issue, but just to take a stab.

It is cowardice to be so frustrated at not proving your own point that you resort to the above. I have no respect for people that have to resort to that.

I think people sometimes get confused between the definition of a flame war & a debate. I enjoy a heated debate - the passion that one feels for an opinion is usually enough to generate very thought provoking ideas from both sides. Flame wars do nothing but gratify someone's inner child that never learned to disagree (& like the eagle song say's "I'd like to find your inner child & kick its little ass) or ignore others that they either don't like or feel superior too.

gumby

I enjoy a good argument. I can learn more from a hot and heated exchange than from reading an inspired but monotonal essay

I agree. The word ARGUMENT sounds negative, and the term is thought of in a bad light.

Actually it is not to me. A heated mudslinging argument is different, as the original subject is SIDESTEPPED, ........ the purpose of the argument is lost at that point, and nothing is accomplished.

The little flame war that recently took place proved that point.Nothing but a few people trying to make the other look bad..........pure idiocy.

Edited by - Gumby on 18 October 2002 12:17:38

Sentinel

Wasassister,

It all depends on what the discussion is about, and how well you know the person. Sometimes, you can really get a point across, if you define the moment, and say what you have to say. If the person comes back at you, obviously they didn't like what you said, or they simply like to argue. I enjoy a good discussion with varied opinions, but I hate arguing. It wastes good energy.

Sometimes, walking away is the best thing to do. If they want the last word, who cares? Just because someone feels strongly about their opinion, doesn't make it "truth". If a truth is presented as fact, and the person still has a problem with it, then it does become their problem. It isn't worth my time to try to assist them any further. They don't want to admit to an error in thinking, or an incorrect perception or assumption.

I believe walking away shows a great deal of strength. Sometimes, I simply state that I will "agree to disagree", and end the matter. I don't have to be right or correct all the time myself, and am usually very happy when someone takes the time to help me understand something, or wants to discuss some issues that really don't have answers.

Be prepared though, as in some very volitile circumstances, turning your back on someone can make them extremely hostile. Anger and rage has a power all it's own, but it's true, that few words said calmly can sometimes resolve things before they get out of hand.

By nature, I'm a peacemaker.

Sentinel

Farkel

Bathory,

: evan one of farks plagiarised rippers

I've never plagarized anything. I dare you to prove otherwise.

Farkel

wasasister

Somewhere, the Gods of Irony are celebrating.....

Thank you Farkel

Simon

I think if possible then 'walking away' virtually is the best solution but sometimes, some people will refuse to let things go and keep escalating the insults and accusations to try and elicit a response or make someone 'snap'.

The best response in this case is to make a simple statement stating the facts.

Is it weakness to walk away?

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