I married a stranger, did you?

by kenpodragon 45 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  freedom96

  Great story Kenpo.

  I too married a "stranger". We had only known each other for a few months, but I tell you, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I truly could not imagine being with someone more caring and loving, and supportive as my wife.

  Though I know that no one is perfect, she absolutely is perfect for me. No extremes, great humor, no grudges, etc. Everyone who meets her thinks she is just wonderful.

  Funny how life turns out. I was married to another witness, quite young, and that turned out to be disasterous. She still is a witness by name, and her actions at the meetings. Real life though is another matter. Really gives witnesses a bad name.

  After that divorce, sometime later, I was planning on getting married to another witness, though I was not active. Had that worked out, unfortunately I would probably still be involved to some degree.

  But I found another witness who had faded away like I did. She will never go back, and together we can talk about and understand what it was like to be involved. She understands, and that I think helps out a lot.

  I loved how your wife reacted. I bet that was a relief. And to be able to go on with your lives, that is great.

  Congrats on your soon to be born child.
• 

  animal

  ballistic,

  It took 2 DUI's (drunk driving), some jail time, and 2 motorcycle crashes (one a head on with a car) to get me to rethink things. I did, it worked, and I enjoy it.

  I was warned that many couples, when a drastic change is made like I did, usually dont survive it. Opposites attract, they say, and when one of the people do a turnaround, the other no longer is attracted. We worked thru it tho and made it.

  That answer it?

  Animal
• 

  ballistic

  Thanks animal - just curious. I know several couples who quit drinking. Although I've cut down compared to my student days a few years ago, I still probably drink above average and have only cut down for my heath (weight gain). I'm just very curious as to what motivates people to make those kinds of changes and you answered that very clearly.
• 

  footprints

  My wife is the one that married the stranger. But I'm not any stranger than most of you.

  I feel sorry for all the bunny rabbits out there who keep jumping form hole to hole.

  Only committed, go to, kind of people will know how great marriage can be after 25 years, the children are raised, 26 years, the cars are all paid for, 27 years, both doing jobs they enjoy, 28 years, vacations where you don't have to do anything so you just relax, 29 years being able to make love in any room in the house, 30 years, loving the way she cooks because its better than that crap you get in restrants, 31 years doing the dishes without being told, ( remember there are not to many just the 2 of you) 32 years, being able to make love 30 days in any month ( if you take your vitamins) 33 years......

  Life is as good as you are willing to let it be, it's up to you.
• 

  orangefatcat

  I married a stranger and it lasted almost 28 yrs and he was a kook and I nearly ended my life on several occasions. Thank goodness for another man who took me under his wings and told me he loved me and was willing to see me through the struggle that was going to change my life forever. You never know what lurks beneath the surface of the person you marry just because they are a JW and are a pioneer, because some of them are great with false facades and manipulative and are great at making everyone think that they are Gods gift to the world of mankind. I married a fanatic and a zealot. And wierd let me tell you wierd. But because JWs didn't allow divorce except on the grounds of adultrey ( that was in the early 60',&70's) so I stuck it out. Wow what a mistake. And I could write a book about it. But all is wonderful now and that is all that matters.

  Orangefatcat

  and yes this is a good post.
• 

  yumbby

  My husband and I knew each other about two weeks when he asked me to marry him, and I was like "What took you so long?". He was seperated from his wife of 10 years, who had decided she wanted to shack up with a workmate, and he wasn't a witness. I was a very devout one. Don't ask how that happened! We were married less than a month later. We are truly soul mates. I am glad every day that we are married. I can say with no reservations that my husband is one of the greatest souls of this planet. I'm all for love at first sight. It really can work. P.S. We'll be married 5 years in January.
• 

  Beck_Melbourne

  I love the love you have for your wife Dragon....you both have friendship combined with a yeilding spirit...two fantastic binding agents that will always pull you through the rough times. May your marriage last forever!!!

  ~Beck~
• 

  Windchaser

  Ditto, Hempinstein, to all the nice things said to you here.

  As for me, I married strange strangers.
• 

  terabletera

  That was great to read and so were all of the responses.

  I married young I think. Well, young for me. I was an idiot. Don't know what he ever saw in me. Things were very tough financially too. But we've come a long way. And that road has been pleasant. I mean, he and I have always really gotten along. Is it because we knew eachother well? Naw, it was just luck more than a lot of it. We grew together. Both of us are mild tempered and avoid confrontation. I think I recall only twice in our 16 years of marriage when we actually shouted at eachother. And I don't remember what it was about. BTW, just got back from our two day honeymoon in the mountains....was very good. Very.
• 

  out4good3

  My wife was quiet for a minute and then stood up and walked out of the room. I set thinking that she might be crying or struggling with my thoughts. Then she came back with a trash bag in hand, looked me in the face and said, "thank God you said it first, now lets throw away all these stupid books." We took the books to the dumpster, every single one of them that night.

  My God !!!!!

  You are one lucky dude to have a woman like that at your side. She is definetely a keeper. The only thing that I could think of that would've made this better is if she came clean first.

  Sadly, I think this is the state of a lot of JW marriages. Both parties want to get out, but through the conditioning of the org, neither wants to make the first move for fear of how the other would react. So, you're trapped, together but always in suspicious of the other.