Angry Kids

by LongHauler 21 Replies latest social family

  • LongHauler
    LongHauler

    All right, obviously I'm a little new here so bear with me. Just out of curiosity, has anyone here that was raised as a jay-dub felt resentment or anger or animosity toward thier parents? I wanted nothing to do with the cult even at a fairly early age, but would a person feel that way if they had believed as a teen?

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Hello,

    I was raised as a JW (3rd generation) but I can't say I feel resentful towards my parents for the way I was brought up. Yes, I missed out on opportunities in careers and talents that were never explored, but on the whole, I was treated well and was raised to be a caring adult.

  • LongHauler
    LongHauler

    My folks did a fine job of taking care of my sister and I, as far as pysical needs went. But they really
    didn't teach us much about caring. Being forbidden to have extended contact with family members that wound up dying before we escaped the cult is a good example I think. What we missed out on growing up was hard to let go too, but as far as ambitions and talents go I have found no problem pursuing them now. Is it different if you were a believer as a child? I knew at a very early age that I wanted nothing to do with being a JW.

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    No, I didn't bear any resentment about my upbringinging, until my parents began to remonstrate with me for leaving the JW's.

    Then I would get a touch fiesty.

    Englishman.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Hey Eman

    What's that thing on the left hand side of your red angry smiley thingie?? Is it a growth?? A carbunkle?? What in the hell...

    G'day LongHauler

    Yes I grew to be resentful towards my parents for the jw influence on my younger years...I'm over it now, but I went through a stage were I blamed them for some things.

    ~Beck~

    ps, that was the shortest 2 months on the road I ever did see lol

  • Matty
    Matty

    I think it's perfectly right to feel angry when you have had your childhood stolen from you. The psychological damage inflicted on Jehovah's Witness children is immeasurable. Having to guard against "bad association" meant that I had few friends. I had to suffer all manner of beatings and abuse by other children because I was "different". Being a witness kid turned me into a neurotic nervous wreck, the emotional scars of which I still bear today.

    Who can you really blame though? What is the point in blaming anyone in particular? Does it really get you anywhere? Directing this anger toward my parents is not helpful to anyone. They were just one loop in the chain, and they have been duped just as I was. How can I be angry at two people that love me and thought that they were doing the best for me in their own strange way? I am lucky enough to be able to break that chain, and if I have children I know that I will do my utmost to ensure that they lead normal and fulfilled lives, unburdened by the guilt and fear associated with being brought up in a cult.

  • shera
    shera

    I wasn't raised in the meetings,but I started to study when I was an older teen.I had my daughter young and her fisrt 5 yrs of life was a JW life.To this day she cannot stand the meetings.There is one woman there that she doesn't like at all.Like I said I had my daughter young and she used to scream and this woman tried to take control of my daughter.One time at home,I couldn't control my daughter and she came over and took her and put her in the cold shower to shut her up.Of course ,I didn't say a thing.Stupid me,listening to them.It wasn't long after that I left.I said I'm not doing this any more.I have said SORRY to my daughter ,for making her go and what that woman did to her.That was abuse.My daughter was a screamer and this woman would tell me all the time to teach her to be quite because when the tribulation came,it may come down to it,we may need to hide and her life may be at stake. I just said to myself,I am not abusing my daughter to teach her to be quite because my daughter will be used against me during the tribulation.She has two children,I am sickened just thinking what she put in their minds and the fear they felt.I have so many stories.........Am I able to talk about other people on this board?...gossip....

  • LoneWolf
    LoneWolf

    'Lo, Driver.

    I was raised in it too, fourth generation. That goes waaaay back.

    No, I can't say that I really had any resentment towards them, as in many ways they too were victimized by the circumstances. I've seen the persecution that Dad took and Mom was kicked out of school for not saluting the flag. (1930's) They did their best with what they knew and that is really all that I can ask of them and be fair.

    Like Engishman, though, I can get ornery when they ignore my wishes and try to force their will upon me anyway.

    How long have you been driving? I have well over a million miles in most everything from dry vans and reefers to 28 and 30 wheel A and B train flat beds. I used to haul loads of haz-mat resin over the Oregon passes into Eastern Oregon weighing 105,500, rain, snow, or whatever. I quit that as I got tired of chaining up that much. Am driving local now. Mostly possum belly chip trucks.

    Max weight now is SUPPOSED to be 88,500. Ever get out Oregon way?

    LoneWolf

  • LongHauler
    LongHauler

    Well, this certainly got more attention than I thought...Guess since I am new here the least I could do is fill you in on some of the details you asked about....

    LoneWolf:

    How long have you been driving? I have well over a million miles in most everything from dry vans and reefers to 28 and 30 wheel A and B train flat beds. I used to haul loads of haz-mat resin over the Oregon passes into Eastern Oregon weighing 105,500, rain, snow, or whatever. I quit that as I got tired of chaining up that much. Am driving local now. Mostly possum belly chip trucks.

    Max weight now is SUPPOSED to be 88,500. Ever get out Oregon way?

    Cheers mate! I do get to Oregon every great once in a while, I pull a 53' reefer for Prime Inc. out of Springfield, MO. We haul a lot of french fries out of Kennewick, WA and Nursery stock out of Cornelius, OR. I've been driving for two years now, and I've got a brand new truck coming in January.

    Matty:

    Who can you really blame though? What is the point in blaming anyone in particular? Does it really get you anywhere? Directing this anger toward my parents is not helpful to anyone. They were just one loop in the chain, and they have been duped just as I was. How can I be angry at two people that love me and thought that they were doing the best for me in their own strange way? I am lucky enough to be able to break that chain, and if I have children I know that I will do my utmost to ensure that they lead normal and fulfilled lives, unburdened by the guilt and fear associated with being brought up in a cult.

    You're absolutly right. Blaming them won't help. And after a year of seeing a shrink I too am starting to get over it. But I wonder if it's just normal too feel that way at first? Part of my real anger was that since my sister was twelve years older than me you would think they would begin to wonder if thier parenting style might have been flawed when thier attempts at making her into a witness failed so miserably. But they handled me entirely the same way and once again it failed badly. I guess in thier minds tha absolutness of the watchtower teachings was just embeded too deeply in thier heads. Like many deeply religous people they hid behind the bible and/or Watchtower and justified even thier most dumbass stunts with it. Thier attitude seemed to be "It can't be our fault, we just did what the bible told us to". And of course the elders and the congregation completely supported this. Lets be honest, most of my childhood it would not have been a stretch for one of them to find me in my room with two slit wrists. But the cult programing would have kicked in and the first words out of thier mouths would have been that it could not possibly have anything to do with the Watchtower way of life. A little long winded here I realize, but food for thought none the less.

    Beck_Melbourne

    ps, that was the shortest 2 months on the road I ever did see lol

    I am touched that you remembered my long stay on the road. I assure you I am indeed still on the road and am writing this from the Petro truck stop in York, NE on I-80 exit 373. I told Prisca that in an E-Mail, but I guess she forgot.

    I sincerely hope I have answered or clarified any lose ends. Thanks to everyone for all the feedback.

    Doug Fry, "Sundown" a.k.a. LongHauler

    "Well the waitress poured me another cup of coffee- pop it down- jack me up- shoot me out- flyin down the highway... lookin for the money... oohh I'm driving my life away, looking for a better way, for meee... oohh I'm driving my life away, lookin for a sunny day...." The Late Great Eddie Rabbit

    Edited by - LongHauler on 26 October 2002 21:31:38

  • gypsywildone
    gypsywildone

    My mom got into this psychosis when I was 13, tried to make me a jw, drove my dad right outta the house with this behavior, & was just a nutcase! It was like the pod people invaded her! Well, talk about a rebel with a cause! My cause: to irritate the piss out of the jws at every turn. I refused to be bent into their version of reality. After age 15 & a half, I refused to even go.
    I think part of the anger stems from parent's skewed version of history, selective memories of what REALLY happened, & refusal to take any responsability for the damage they wreak!
    Back on up there to Shera's post. At some point, humanity should kick in & tell "parents", "hey, they are suggesting I abuse my kid here, the stuff they are promoting isn't healthy, is making my family miserable, & maybe I need to rethink this"!
    How many people here have parents with a rather tainted memory of what actually occurred, & won't even own up to stuff they most certainly did?

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