Things said on stage that made you laugh

by LyinEyes 21 Replies latest social humour

• 

  LyinEyes

  There was an elder at our hall ,when he would call on someone , he would help the brother with the mic to find the person. He did this by saying: " Sister Little in the front"....hehehhe ,, of course being bored to death, this always cracked several us of rowdy back seat sitters up.

  Here are more examples from our old hall. Sister Key , in the rear. Brother Brown in the rear. Brother Green in the front. Sister Manual in the rear. Sister Cox in the rear. This brother did it every single time he called on someone.

  This brother never caught on to the snickering. He was dense I guess. But we had a good laugh. On the way home we could die laughing adding to the list, by using other names of people we know and how if they went to our hall, how funny that would be to hear their name. Brother Duck in the rear.Silly I know,, but gawd,,,,,,, being JW was boring and we had to find ways to amuze ourselves.

  One brother had this slip of the tongue.......... " and the angels were given the given of immorality". We busted up then too, but it took him a second to realize he meant to say immortality, instead.
• 

  Robdar

  Lyin,

  I don't remember anything funny being said from the podium. But I do remember how certain singers of the kingdom songs would howl and screach while making a joyful noise unto Jah. When they would start in with their bellowing, my brother and I would snicker until mom smacked us and made us stop.

  BTW, thank you for the laff on this rainey afternoon.

  Love,

  Robyn
• 

  RandomTask

  The funniest thing I ever heard from the platform was a brother who gave a #4 talk out of the YPA book on masturbation, starting off his talk with, "Masturbation, its a touchy subject"

  During book study one time when we finished early we would read the bible reading and this one teenaged girl in our hall was so dense. The word "organism" appeared in her part of the reading about four times and all four times she pronounced it "orgasm" without skipping a beat.
• 

  freeman

  One poor guy I knew, an Elder, gave a public talk comparing Gods Spirit to water in a desert. Anyway at a very serious part in his talk he was supposed to say and they all died from lack of water, each and every one of them. But what he said instead was and they died from lack of hunger, the stupid dummies.

  He looked really puzzled when people started laughing; Almost pissed my pants. He did a LOT of drugs in his youth.

  Freeman
• 

  minimus

  A ministerial servant read EVERY language that the Watchtower and other publications were being made available as the KM announcement. He is a poor reader and mispronounced about 25 languages....I laughed so hard, I had to excuse myself. It went on for about 6 or 7 minutes.
• 

  LyinEyes

  These are so funny.

  Random, that was the reason I never , ever, said the word "organism", I knew I would goof and say orgasm. I stayed far away from that word and would not read a scripture that may have that word in it either. LOL.
• 

  Elsewhere

  Prayer: "Please forgive us out falling shorts."

  "Brother Pain in the rear."
• 

  Mulan

  Our PO would get amnesia on the stage. He was older anyway, but when conducting the WT one day, he could not think of a sister's name so he said "give her the microphone, while I think of her name." When she started to talk, we all burst out laughing. It was his wife.

  A classic I heard about was a brother praying to J, to forgive our falling shorts.
• 

  dins

  My sister..(bless her) was never the brightest bulb on the tree back then. She read the scripture, I think it was in Psalms ,where it says the stars would do something in applause, and she said applesauce. I laughed so hard that my mother made me go to the back...

  But most of the things said at the hall were by people who thought they were informed and intelligent and most of the time it was just rubbish.
• 

  Shakita

  After a long day, it didn't take much to start me giggling. You see, when I get tired, anything can set me off. Doesn't go over to well during an IMPORTANT talk! Sometimes I would try so hard not to laugh, I would end up crying! With my shoulders shaking and tears coming out of my eyes, I just couldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried. Sometimes I had to get up and go to the bathroom, just to stop!!

  We had one older brother in our hall who would read the scriptures and turn words around, or substitute letters for others. This made for some very interesting scriptures. There was a talk that this brother was giving, he messed up so many words in bible verses he was reading, I just was about to blow a gut! Just one example: the scripture had the word tabernacle in it. This brother substituted the word "tabernacle" with the word "tablecloth". Oh My God, I just could not stop laughing, you know, the silent laughing. The kind where no matter how much you try to stop, you just make it worse! And what is sad is, this brother didn't even know he made a mistake!!!That made it even the more funny!

  Oh God, such good memories,

  makes me almost want to go back.........NOT!

  Mrs. Shakita