So fed up!!!!! New here!

by Shytears 34 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  Shytears

  Thanx buster i really,really,appreciate it.Ill try to take your advice to heart.its true what u say i cant do Nothing for him,we both get nothing out of it.why do so many jw parents think they are protecting there children,when all there doing is hurting them.like i think thats some of the reasons im on medicne.and really how are u suppose to grow up to be your own person and have your own views when you cant experience anything for yourself?know what i mean..

  also im known as the bad girl in the cong,im starting to get fed up,i really dont give a shit anymore,.my parents put this guilt trip on me,like if i dont go to meetings and in service they wont survive....hmmm well thanx again...............ill bee back soooooon :)
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  Buster

  I don't know if your last post was a 'sign-off.' ; But in case you're still here:

  think I know how it is in the cong. Most everyone else does too, I suspect. Every hall needs a bad girl so they have an excuse to get their noses up in the air. It would be tolerable (if there was a reason to tolerate it) if you could count on your parents to back you up. You can't. They are as indoctrinated as the rest and will feel pressured to get you in line. The pressure won't decrease - it will only get worse - remember it makes them feel better - like they're doing what they ought to.

  That only means that you must get ready. How you will handle the elders, relatives, boyfriend (the further away the better) - that stuff.

  I wish I could help more,

  - Buster
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  bitter mango

  i want out of this org so bad,but i cant do nothing about it.

  sure ya can!! i know your living at home, and your parents are pushing their beliefs and rules on you the rules bit is really something you have to accept until your out on your own but you dont have to accept a religion that doesnt feel right for you. stick around. educate yourself. think for yourself.
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  Shakita

  Hi and welcome,

  It has been a long time since I was 16, but I do have a 15 1/2 year old right now, and have 2 grown children. You are at a very vulnerable time of your life. So many feelings and decisions about your future to make. Please, please, please, GET AN EDUCATION!!!!! This is so important to do at this time in your life. GO TO COLLEGE and expand your life beyond the WT religion. DO THIS NOW WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG, because, even though it is possible, it is very hard to go back to school later in life when responsibilities are many.

  Being a girl at this time in life is very difficult. Not only do you have to deal with your own issues of maturity....but if you have a boyfriend, you must deal with where he is in the world of sexual maturity. This is not a light subject. Be true to yourself. Plan for YOUR future. You are too young to be worrying about relationships beyond your own. BE SELFISH with your own identity. Maturity takes time and experience. Be gentle with yourself when rushing into the world of the opposite sex. You must come to LOVE YOURSELF first, before you can love others. Sorry to sound like a Mom here, but I am. And, I wish I could turn back time to rethink some of the mistakes I have made in life. Not possible. Take the good advice here to heart.

  I wish you the very best in life, take care,

  Shakita
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  Kingpawn

  Shytears,

  Welcome. You'll get the support you need here--information, people who've "been there, done that" and while you may not realize it, you're helping yourself already.

  One, you're here. Two, you're thinking. Asking questions. In fact, asking if this is the right religion shouldn't you be happy is getting right to the heart of the issue. After all, Christ said his yoke was light and He was meek. And what was He freeing people from? The Mosaic Law. The same load the WBTS puts on people now.

  The Law mandated do's and don'ts, deeds over thoughts/attitudes, and made people constantly worried they wouldn't measure up. The WBTS does the same thing. Christ ended that. He didn't mandate X hours a week in field service, or Y number of Bible studies, or Z meetings.

  Read the posts here, even the fluff ones. You'll see we're people who can console, argue, praise, and damn. We're not demon-possessed and you can feed off of our "the WBTS can take a flying @#$% as far as my life is concerned" attitude. There are ex-elders, CO's, and DO's here, who can give you the ammo you need to strengthen you for the time ahead. And there *will* be an end to it. As Joannadandy says, you're so close.

  Do searches on things like the UN, the blood issue, false prophecies, disfellowshipping, shunning, the ceramic engine being developed by a company (and the engine's being eyed by the US military) the WBTS has an indirect interest in (as in holding stock in the company that holds stock in the one developing the engine). Or child molesting by them and their response to it, if you're unfamiliar with these things. In the upper left-hand corner, there's a string of links highlighted in yellow under the site logo. "Search" is in there. You'll get an eyefull on those topics and others. And there are several links to other sites at the bottom of the page too.

  You're in good company. We'll all do what we can to help you. Ask more questions, seek out resources, trust your instincts. Today is the beginning of your journey out. No, change that. Today you found new friends and info sources to help you out. You've been doing the work already.
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  dottie

  (((((Shytears))))) Welcome!!!!!

  Wow...I'm having this immense feeling of deja vu!! Shy, your situation is very similar to mine. Although that was 10 yrs ago now, I am out, live across the country from my mom, and yet still have a good "relationship" with her. I know that things a SO hard right now, I feel your anxiety, but you know what? Things DO get better with time and age. (Believe it or not, I didn't 10 yrs ago either :))

  I really have to agree with the others about avoiding guys, or at least relationships with them. Get yourself focused on YOU, and the light at the end of the tunnel(getting out). See I took the opposite route, left home at 16, moved in with the first person available(which happened to be a guy) ended up in 2 different longterm relationships one was verbally abusive, and the other, well, I'm just not ready to go there yet. Needless to say, I put off any college, hell I didn't even finish High School.

  Thankfully, things in the longrun turned out ok. Go to college, stay in residence, have the fun your supposed to have. I found that my so-called "worldly" friends were much more supportive, loving and understanding than any "truth- buddy". If I could go back I think that counselling (nothing religion related) would have had a tremendous help. Find ways to vent, keep a journal, take up jogging, & this board is always good for a vent!

  You'll make it. I'm sure after venting a bit earlier, you felt a tad better. Just hold on, freedom will be yours eventually. I am very familiar with the guilt trips, try to turn a deaf ear, they can't talk forever(sometimes it doesn't seem that way).

  (((((Shytears)))))

  Dottie
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  Tinkerbell4125

  One day soon, you'll see the door named exit and to it you will run!
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  JT

  You have come to the right place- YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY OF US POSTING ONLY WISH THEY WE WERE YOU

  to be 16 and have access to folks you can talk to about your concerns as a jw young person- you are so fortunate you don't have any idea

  i would offer this suggestion, Please and i beg you get in contact with some of the females here on this site, THEY CAN AND WILL HELP YOU

  not that we guys can't , but you need to hear it straight from a woman's mouth the emotional tug-a -war of having feelings inside you that are natural (sexual) and how to manage it in a manner that you don't have your life turned upside down

  you are no at a very dangerous point in your life

  so many young jw kids reject the org for all the rules and go BUTT WILD

  and end up becoming the poster child for wt SEE THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE THE ORG

  well Trust me on this point THERE IS LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE ORG and you don't have to get involved in all the things that the org tells you that you will, THAT IS NOT TRUE

  many of us here are moving on with our lives, meeting new friends and building long lasting relationships with both males and females and YOU CAN TOO use the NET "THANG" to your advantage

  you will not be DOGGED OR JUDGED here BUT you will get the best advice you could possibly get

  your parents may seeem to be up your "A$$" all the time

  well take the time for yourself and find out WHY, they are so controled by the org that they literally don't know better, but you have the chance Lord have mercy i wish i had,

  Please take advantage of it

  ck the emails of some of the poster here and please contact them ESPECAILLLY OFFLINE they will call you or write you, but you must touchbase with someone

  i just want to welcome you here and HANG IN THERE YOU WILL BE JUST FINE

  JAMES
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  Scully

  Hi Shytears:

  Boy, do your posts take me back to when I was 16!

  First let me welcome you to our little corner of cyberspace, I hope you'll find the information you're looking for here.

  Secondly, if I can get one message through to you, it would be this one: Start developing a support network of non-JW people (relatives, friends at school, neighbours, teachers, etc.) so you'll have some social contacts when you're in a position to leave the organization. It's incredibly difficult to leave the organization "cold turkey" which is what happens to lots of people who decide to do something that gets them DFd - often the lack of social support and friendships outside the organization is what makes them go back to it even though they really don't want to be there. If you want to make a real break from the JWs, having real friends on the outside is going to be what helps you hang in there when the social vacuum of shunning by JWs who know you might otherwise tempt you to go back.

  Education!! I can't stress this enough. The WTS no longer forbids going to college the way it did when I was your age. If you're a good student now, you might qualify for some scholarships that will help pay your way. Apply for as many as you can get your hands on, and take advantage of the ones that you qualify for. Making a success of your life is one thing that sticks in the craw of the average JW like nothing else. After all, they've been told that outside of the organization they're doomed to fail at everything. Prove them wrong, and smile about it!

  I also agree with the other posters who think it's a good idea to wait before you get serious with boys. Get yourself established first - with a good education and job skills that will help you become self sufficient. Boys and young men who respect you will understand your goals and dreams and will want you to achieve them. It's so easy to get caught up in an unhealthy relationship where your needs, values and goals have to take a back burner to someone else's, particularly when you've been raised in a cult that tells you to do the same thing.

  Please keep in touch with us. Lots of us have been where you are now and want to help you through this transition.

  Love, Scully
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  jurs

  Hi Shytears,

  We're all here for you ! I'm a mom and I have 2 daughters just a couple of years younger than you. Your parents think that they are doing whats best. Your in a tough spot. Dating , dances and friendships with schoolmates are an impotant part of the teen years, unfortunately they don't mix with the JW lifestyle. I feel for you !!! In just a few short years you'll be able to choose your own coarse, but for now your definately limited. If you need to vent we're here for you ! Oh............ I wanted to add that the best way to freedom is education. take care

  jurs