Been there, done that! Do you have a special teacher or guidance counsellor you trust? I know it's embarassing, & you are probably leading dual lives. If you get good grades & take college prep courses, the teachers will help you get into college, even if your parents refuse to pay! Start now, start planning for your happy, educated future, not their future of gloom and doom. a teenage marriage to someone that you don't know very well, like those you have sen at the kingdom hall, will not help. I know you are pissed at the injustice of it all. I know you feel ripped off, and you were. There is a section of this board with xjws in different places & states. There is so much help out here for you! Feel free to email me anytime, [email protected]
So fed up!!!!! New here!
by Shytears 34 Replies latest watchtower medical
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Pleasuredome
shytears,
although you dont know it you can just quit, rather than be disfellowshiped or DA yourself. you may not realise it, but at baptism you entered into a legaly binding contract, which it ilegal for an under 18 to do. so you have a right to quit and the elders can do nothing about it.
go to this site to understand why baptism is a contract: http://www.geocities.com/osarsif/legal.htm
hope this may be a way out for you.
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Mum
((((Shytears))))
You bring back painful memories of what it was like to be 16.
The folks here are right. Go along with your parents and don't tell them how you really feel. Relax and accept the situation you are in, take one day at a time, and PREPARE for your escape from the stone enclave of the Watchtower.
I recommend that you get psychological counseling. If your parents and the elders are against it, talk to your school guidance counselor about arranging some counseling at school.
When you turn 18, you can be on your own. But the harsh reality is that you will need to be able to support yourself. From your typing, I don't think you're going to be suited for office work. Waitress work is a good choice to get started because if you work in a place where tips are good, you can earn enough to meet expenses. You can also work different shifts freeing up time to take college classes. Is there a community college in your town? If so, start out taking some general classes like English and math. Then take some vocational interest and personality tests (ask your guidance counselor about these, such as the Strong Interest Inventory, MBTI, etc.). Finding out what you're best suited for makes life at work a lot more bearable.
It's natural to be frustrated and impatient. But you have plenty of time. And we're here for you. Start figuring out how to save some money to get started when you can move out on your own. Be careful of roommates, even if they are friends because even people with the best intentions can go a little crazy and be irresponsible once they are on their own for the first time.
Take baby steps. Again, there's plenty of time. You're a lucky girl to realize at such a young age that something is wrong. I was 32 years old before I escaped the clutches of the Watchtower mind control cult.
Do what is right for yourself and others. If your parents are hurt by the decisions you make in your own best interest, you are not to blame. If you make decisions that are not in your own best interest, learn from them and change your strategy.
You're going to be fine. Tell your parents you love them and you know they are doing the best they know how (unfortunately, they really are because they don't know how to think for themselves any more either). Do good because it is the right thing for you and those you care about, not because some organization's idea of good is forced on you.
Get help from your teachers and counselors you can trust. Come back and tell us how you're doing -- often.
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Shytears
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Edited by - Shytears on 5 November 2002 20:33:42
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Pistoff
shytears, some practical advice:
start the pretend game; pretend to want it, pretend to believe it and don't do ANYTHING that will get you into a judicial committee meeting; at the very least prevent getting caught at it.
Don't do anything sexual with a witness boy, because he will go to the elders when he feels guilty.
Don't admit to anything when they don't have two witnesses against you; PLAY THE PRETEND GAME WITH THE ELDERS MOST OF ALL; if they have you dead to rights, play the repentance and tears game, please.
The pretend game is kinda rotten, but it will help you get through the next two years; if it feels wrong, just remember they set the stupid rules up, not you; they (your parents and the elders) are asking you to live by rules you agreed to when you were only 13; no way you could have known then how you would feel now.
I feel for you; i have two children df'd and I don't care if they come back except it would be nice for them to have the benefit of extended family. One will and I know one can't, but I love them dearly no matter what.
I care what happens to you, please stay here. There are some crazies here, but some real searchers too. Listen and sift, and decide for yourself what is true and what is not; this is hard, if you are a witness you have never done it, not really. Trust yourself, it gets easier with practice.
One more thing: just because you don't want to go to meetings anymore doesn't mean God hates you. When you get here you might realize like me that God and the organization are the same thing in your head; it takes a while to separate them.
You can believe and still not be a witness; many here are in that category.Pistoff