you know, you don't have to read this....

nilfun

a nobody in?
a nobody out
a somebody in?
a somebody out

you brought them in
now try to pull them out
and that's what it's all about

you're making amends

no letters to your name?
well then there's no blame
you can eat another piece of chocolate cake
you are guilty of no crime; you don't need to be fake

you were the driving force

behind someone getting dunked
now you smell like a skunk
to spray contrition's perfume all around is your task
the odor of guilt you seek to mask

show the rabble the way
after all, we're only here to play
and be cruel to be kind
you know, we don't mind

DakotaRed

(((((Nilfun)))))

I always like to remind people that they are a somebody. God never took the time to make a nobody.

Lew W

nilfun

A rollercoaster is fun the first coupla times, but to be on one tweny-four hours a day is a real drag.

I don't have buttons that get pushed, IAM the button (lol @ self)

thanks so much, DakotaRed

((((((((Lew))))))))

Carisa, give yourself time. You went through a lot and didn't deserve any of it. Although you are out of that situation, it will take some time to make the rollercoaster slow down. Have you talked to any professionals about your feelings? You sound very much like you may have PTSD.

Hey! Tell you what. Want to think of poetic justice? Think about your ex stepping off a curb and getting hit by a garbage truck. What could be more poetic?

Lew W

nilfun

Lew, I have been diagnosed with PTSD and I should be in therapy.

I want to pretend it was someone else that it happened to.

But you know, that takes an awful lot of energy, and I am getting tired.

p.s. Your garbage truck comment made me laugh...

DakotaRed

Talking with my Army buddies, I find that we all are suffering form PTSD at least a bit. Some a lot worse than others.

While therapy would be the best for you, don't be afraid to reach out here and just talk about it. Talking is the best therapy going and seeing others have similar problems lowers yours a bit and makes them more manageable.

My email is always open and you have my number. Don't be afraid to use it. If one of my cats answers, hang up. They get jealous

Have you visited the new Silentlambs site? If not, please do and register. So many there that went through a lot of what you did.

Lew W

nilfun

Thanks, ((((Lew))))

wildfire

DEAR NILFUN.....this is wildfire here ,,,, I too find comfort in writing,,, I write poetry,,,, and short stories and I post here,,,, its great therapy for me... (even tho i see a shrink regularily) I do suffer from post traumatic stress syndrom... and severe depression.... I have had 2 abusive husbands,, mylast one claimed to be of the annointed at the ripe ole age of 23..... He used emotional black mail on me ,, he was a major manipulator,,,, but after 9 years I saw through the layers of deceit... and made my break,,, it was the best thing i ever did ,,,(I had 3 kids with him and he got ou t of paying child support for them..my youngest is 16 and lives with me) So I tell my story,,, some of the pain goes with it,,,,,,some never leaves... but i know I have come to a safe place where i can tell my story without the threat of being df so keepposting and i will wish you all the best dear one

nilfun

Hey, ((((Wildfire))))
Did you get your JWD nick from that song Wildfire?

She comes down from Yellow Mountain
On a dark, flat land she rides
On a pony she named Wildfire
With a whirlwind by her side
On a cold Nebraska night.....I love that song.

I believe there was also a sculptor who's Indian name was Wildfire, ..one of her parents was of African ancestry, the other was Cherokee I believe...I might have remembered it wrong...

Can you tell that I like your nick?

Thanks your kind words, Wildfire

wildfire

HI THER E NILFUN:::: yes i do like the song wildfire,, always have... i used to sing with my ex... that was the best partof the marriage he played guitar (very well) and isang along to many songs do you remember my sweet lady by john denver....well believe it ...we sang that song at our reception..... and the funny thing i have a record player and i actually found an old john denver record with that song on it and other oldies.... i also like karen carpenter and i have one of her oldie records that i sing along tooo.... actually life with out singing to me may as well be death.... cause i love to sing...... it takes away some of the pain ,,, i have stored inside.... for so long ..... soheres to you my friend.... lets just sing the blues away hey hey

you know, you don't have to read this....

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