Reconciliation w Tina & Julie (page 2)

Kismet

Deleted after consideration and not wanting to disrupt this thread.

Suffice it to say I greatly admire Amazing's ability to forgive.

The rest of the stuff is best left buried.

Kismet

Edited by - Kismet on 2 November 2002 16:36:34

Simon

I believe everyone can make mistakes and should be given 'second chances' but there is a danger that such good-will can be abused.

It's good if Amazing feels that the reconciliation is genuine but personally, after reading some of their very recent comments and personal attacks elsewhere, I do not come to the conclusion that "they are not prone to hold on to grudges". In fact, quite the contrary - they are still harping on about things that people posted almost a year ago! Nothing appears to have changed and if I was cynical I would say that they are simply trying a different approach because their other efforts have failed.

Perhaps I am just being overly cynical but given what has been said and done in the past this is what I feel and I have to consider the other people who post here and how their behavior would affect them.

refiners fire

Myself, I wouldnt have any problem about it and wouldnt even address them or post in their threads. Until the second time One of them directly attacked me, attacked me by stealth, or "insinuated' about me.What are the chances of this NOT HAPPENING ? Very remote I suggest. And once they do that.... well, you know the rest. Flame wars everywhere.

refiners fire

I can even predict who will now respond with the alternate position. I bet the Pieman can too.

Amazing

I too took the opportunity at a pot shot about a week or so before I realized that this is not the way. Hurt, anger, regret and even guilt can skew our behavour ... and we say and do things we really otherwise do not when at peace with people ... it is almost a reflex ... and when peace is given a chance by all parties involved ... well ... it can produce good results and grow into something good and caring. JanH emailed me with a mild kick in my ass to wake me up ... and I had to agree ... so I deleted my comments, and moved in another direction ... glad I did.

Its time for trust. Its time to try. Its time to risk. Its time to let down our fears and take a positive steps. Harboring resentment takes a lot more energy and there is not enough energy feedback or generated to maintain equalibrium ... but the net drain results in loss every time.

We all felt hurt and did hurtful things ... the best way is to realize how we each could have been a little better ... forgive and just drop the past ... sometimes everything does not have to be resolved ... just forgiven by all sides and recognition that we all care and that our emotions got in the way ... yes, it would be cool to go and figure out and analyze exactly how things went wrong and who could and should have done exactly what ... yes, the lessons learned would be helpful ... sometimes, we just know or knew better and didn't apply what we knew ... so at times maybe the best way is to just let go and move ahead.

We all need some level of healing from our Watchtower experience, and healing from how we treated one another in an effort to grow and discover ... maybe its time to get some healing into motion ... I hope that more can happen ... I would like to work things out with Kent ... and then Amnesian. I don't know who else, but it would be good to find out ...

I have a reason for all this ... and in an upcoming post I will revisit some positive things that have led to my reversal on several issues and my view of people ... I hope that others who have been hurt by flame wars can come to terms with those they combatted, and find ways to mend and heal. It is a very individual and sometimes slow process ... it takes patients and effort and no two situations are exactly alike ... so they need their own time and way ... but maybe we can help create an environment where the ground can be more fertile for such positive steps.

Edited by - Amazing on 2 November 2002 17:56:12

Pathofthorns

nice post amazing. I think the direction you are taking this is the better way. Looking forward to future posts on the subject.

Few things are worth the loss of our friends and while disagreements will inevitably come, I think as long as we endeavor to be reasonable we can find positive solutions.

I would like to believe as long as the desire is there to resolve a conflict instead of perpetuating a war and if we take the innitiative,
there are few conflicts that can't be patched up to the point where we can at least be civil.

Path

IslandWoman

Amazing,

Amicable discussions require the ability to amicably disagree. This historically has proven an impossibility for some of the former H2O posters. They will bend over backwards for their friends but will draw the blood of others who forcefully though in a friendly or neutral manner disagree. They will ridicule the other poster's intelligence and any minor error they find in the post. When this happens the other poster then returns the "favor". This has been a long standing problem. To disagree with some is to be called names, to be humiliated etc. Farkel and AlanF have helped to set this pattern which is self-perpetuating. Sadly, it is a problem which is very remindful of the GB who seem to sometimes view the publishers as children needing to be forcefully corrected.

I hope that you, Dave and others here can change this.

IW

jst2laws

Amazing,

Great news. Who knows what the future will bring but all are at least gazzing the right direction. I am always in favor of peace.

As for reconciliation, well, I have some more to take care of, especially back in Oregon

That is the best news of all. Hope you are not disappointed.

Jst2laws

minimus

It really is good to see you guys all get together!!! Anyone can make a mistake with hard feelings being the result. It takes a big man or woman to go beyond the emotions and work things out in a mature manner.

Big Tex

Amazing

Bravo! Isn't your attitude what Christianity is supposed to be about? I think the most salient point in this thread was when you said we are all at different places in healing from our Watchtower experiences. Most, if not all of us have been hurt badly by that organization and it is so easy to vent that hurt, anger and bitterness on others. It's a shame because it doesn't have to be that way. Thanks for an uplifting and positive thread.

Reconciliation w Tina & Julie

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