(((((((((((yeru))))))))) So sorry to hear about this.
SHE LEFT ME!
by Yerusalyim 80 Replies latest jw friends
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plmkrzy
((((((DITTOS))))))
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Yerusalyim
FRIDAY,
Thanks buddy, I knew you wouldn't disappoint me! I know deep down that's your way of saying you're sympathetic to my situation. Your JW upbring just doesn't allow you to express those thoughts.
I find it interesting, Friday, that my step-son, Sean, who is converting to Catholicism, has opted thus far to stay with me rather than go back to MO. When he was making plans to visit his father over the Thanksgiving vacation (before Mom left) his Dad's wife quickly let him know he was not welcome to stay at the family home.
Remembering that Sean is Autistic, isn't this a fine example of the Love Jehovah's People have???
Would I take her back? ONLY if she addresses some issues first. She is Bi-Polar. I've battled with her for eight years to stay on her meds and go to counseling...unsuccessfully. Over these eight years she's threatened to leave countless times, each time escalating the threat until she finally left. The kids have already been shell shocked several times by her usually dramatic declarations that she's leaving, and even more so by her departure. I won't put them through this again. Two MAJOR requirments I would put on her with regards to returning is that she fulfill her promise before our marriage, NOT TO CONVERT, but to go classes given by the church that would give her info on the Catholic Church. She promised to attend these classes as part of the condition I put on getting into a mixed marriage. I can honestly say I've been to Kingdom Hall more in the eight years of our marriage than she has, so I think I have the right to expect her to fulfill her promise about the Catholic Church classes...MORE IMPORTANTLY, she would have to have had some long term counseling and long term continuious medication showing she's making a true effort to deal with her problems. This counseling would necessarily have to address the issue of Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personalities) for which she was diagnosed after the Bi-Polar disorder was diagnosed. She (they) don't have to integrate, but that issue has to be address. THEN she has to prove she can clean up after herself. Literally more than half the messes in the house were hers. Shoes thrown everywhere (two or three times a week I'd gather up no less than five pairs of her shoes from where she kicked them off at, I used to put them away, then, I just started dumping them in her closet. Clothes laid where she took them off, for a week or more if I didn't pick them up. She'd stopped cooking, cleaning house, etc more than two years ago. I can't think of the last time she vacuumed. She'd get out of the shower and drip across the room trailing water to find a towel (how do you forget a towel 5 out of 7 times). OK, I'm complaining, sorry. THESE major issues would have to be addressed, along with impulse spending that went along with the Bi-Polar that has us with over $10,000 in credit card debt.
Anyway, she called last night and told my daughter that after she talked to me she would be coming home. When I got on the phone with her I requested she not tell Emily such things until we've talked through the issues. I see this seperation being at least 8 months to a year, and maybe permenant. What I won't allow is for her to just waltz back into the house after abandoning me, the kids she's raised as her own for eight years, and her own son.
She's my third wife, sooooo, to paraphrase, three times bitten, once shy. If I didn't like women so much, I'd go gay.
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gumby
Yeru,
I wonder if one of the effects of being bi-polar is not WANTING to take meds for it. My neighbor who is bi-polar refuses to take meds for it. He does however smoke weed like cigaretts. His wife claims it is the only thing that keeps him somewhat mellow.
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BeelzeDub
Yeru,
Sorry to hear about your split. I had experienced many of the same things with my ex wife, until after 18 years of marriage we split. I was crushed when we split up, but I can say after 2 years I am happier even though I wish it had never happened.
Best wishes to you and your family.
B.D.
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butalbee
Oh Yeru--I'm sooooooooooo sorry. I'll pray for ya. And be thinking of you too.
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Yerusalyim
I received the crying phone call this afternoon. "I'm sorry, I love you, I wanna come home" I gave her the above conditions. I won't put my kids through this again.
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bluesapphire
Oh Yeru! This has got to be sooooo difficult. Stick to your guns though. I remember with my first husband we were separated twice. After our first daughter was one year old I kicked him out due to his cocaine addiction. I got involved with another guy who was great to me and my daughter. He had such a good job and a house and everything. But the idiot kept on calling me crying blubber blubber blubber. I decided to take him back because of our daughter. On the condition he stop using drugs and go to counseling.
Well, the idiot that I am got pregnant with the twins within the first couple of months. He never got over the drug addiction. It lasted another eight years until I left him because my twins almost od'd on his cocaine when they found it in a shoe in our closet. They thought it was powdered sugar. Luckily I found them before they ate it.
Anyway, if I had made him go to counseling first. If I had made sure that he was off drugs for good for at least a year before taking him back (although I probably wouldn't have ever gone back after a year because I no longer loved him) but at least if I had done that, I wouldn't have gone through eight more years just to get divorced anyway.
I hope you're strong enough. When you get the urge for sex that's when it's going to be really really tough. Be strong, Yeru. That's all I can say.
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teenyuck
{{{{{Yeru}}}}} I hope it works out for you. I am sorry for your pain, and your children's pain.
Hugs,
Tina
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SpannerintheWorks
Yeru,
I received the crying phone call this afternoon. "I'm sorry, I love you, I wanna come home"
That's a bit of a sudden turn-around, isn't it, Yeru?
Spanner