My grandma was a remarkable woman, with a sense of humour that could crack me up. And she had the determination to make everything she started a success. She never gave up, and fought for everything she hold dear. I could talk for hours with her, on the phone, or face to face. She would give me advise [mostly when it came to the male species] when I came to here with my problems. She has supported me throughout everything, even when I decided to leave the witnesses. She just made me promise never to forget that Christ had also died for me. She never uttered an unkind word to me and held my hand whenever I needed it.
When she got sick, she did everything possible to make it as easy as possible for us, her children and grandchildren. She kept on smiling and kept taking care of us. There were days that she send me home, and ordered me to my bed, because I looked so tired. When she did this, she would hold my hand and tell me she would still be there the next day, when I had gotten some sleep.
My mum took care of her throughout her sickness, and I spend many days and night by her bed. We had a bed placed in the living room, first she would only spend the days there, and later on when she was to weak to be moved, also the nights. Because we had the bed in the living room, she had a view on every one that entered the house. She would wave enthusiastically when someone she loved would stand at the door. And she would also wave us goodbye, blowing us little hand kisses.
The last week, we could hardly communicate with her. She was so weak, her body was being poisoned by this cancer. She was struggling with her inner demons, scared and almost in panic because of her inability to walk away from this. I spend most nights by her side, I would sleep in shifts with my mum, and some other family members that would help. Yesterday night, I had been by her side till 5Am, when my aunt and uncle arrived. I went back to bed, and woke up again at 8Am. It was clear she had entered her last phase. She was calm, for the first time that week. Laid still and with open eyes, breathing irregularly. I held her hand, and told her it was okay. We loved her, but it was okay to go. She would find her brothers and parents there, and my grandpa. She tightened her grip on my hand for a moment. I dont know whether that was a reflex, or a sign that she heard and recognized me. We stood there for twenty minutes or so, the four of us, watching her face. With every breath we expected it to be her last, and when that last one came, we kind of expected her to take another one, we kind of hoped she had fooled us all.
I helped washing her, and dressing her. I brushed that long black hair with streaks of silver for the last time, and did it the way she always had it.
Edited by - Vivamus on 6 November 2002 5:13:30