by Prisca 28 Replies latest jw friends
Just curious here....
If you left the "truth" when you still had children living at home, what was their reaction to your leaving?
Did they leave too?
Did they want to remain JWs?
Did they have some fun "in the world" and then go back?
Did they try to stay a JW but finally give up?
Did you give them the option of staying or leaving?
My youngest was too young to comphrend or remember.
My two oldest sons never wanted to be JWs, but...
They HATED me for hurting their JW mother by my leaving the JWs. She did take it very hard.
Thankfully, they are over that now, but there was a long bad period.
Richard
well, the kids left first. they thought they were really rebellious, cool, naughty etc. that turned our lives upside down for a while. then when we (the adults) stopped going to meetings and witnessing they kinda freaked out. they liked having jw parents because we took out PARENTAL responsabilities seriously. i think they also liked us being out two nights a week and half the weekend so they could ring their friends a be normal teenagers, as far away from any adults as possible. but i believe they liked the safe feeling they got from thinking that they may be saved at arrmagedon through us. once we stopped attending for a while, life went back to normal. we are still good parents, better in some ways, and they have more freedom to choose their own course in life. that probably freaks them out because now they are totally responsible for their own decisions. i like that. our youngest said he can't stand to read or look at the magazines and books anymore, especially since the 'Sunday' program went to air. i still encourage them to think about god and not to hate him because of what men have done in his name. i think my daughter will love us again if we throw a birthday party for her, she's angry about things she's missed out on, i hope she'll get over it. i'm not packing my bag and going on a guilt trip over it, i did what i thought was right at the time, and there were good things that happened to us because of my choice to be a jw. now we have all seen things much clearer, and we've all moved on.
cheers.
Ours kids were too young to miss it.
Liam was about two and Dylan was a baby when we left and so the meetings were very boring for him and tiring for us. I'm so glad we got out when we did because they have never had to go to school and stand out as being different.
Our oldest son was 14 , and you know that age,,,,,,, rebellion sits in. He was not by any means a bad kid, he just started to have his own mind set about things. He was very glad when we had the sit down talk about leaving. We had been talking for many months alot of it in the open about the things we were learning and he was always in some of the conversations. He blew us away with the revelation that he knew things were not right with this religion from when he was very young. He spoke like a wise old man about things that we never knew he thought of. Of course he did have exiting issues that we talked out.
My daughter was 8 , and when she had her first birthday party after we left, she got made because the year before we spent her birthday at an assembly...... SHe said,,,,,,,,,," that is what I got for my 8th birthday ,, an 8 hour day , sit all day assembly....errrrrrr". She never missed it at all.
My youngest son was 6 and he really missed it the most. He was also terrified of armeggedon and had nightmares about me dying alot. He talked a blue steak about Jehovah all the time , and still does quiet abit. He is the reason we pray at dinner time.
I am slowly putting the thought in there head, that we don't know if there will be armeggedon , paradise on earth, maybe there is a heaven and we go there. THey seem to accept that we just don't know and it seems to give them peace . I will let them choose their own belief system . But right now, just coming out of JW and being so beleiving in God, I do tend to keep that belief in God alive. Just not the same way as we did as JW's . I think I believe in God , so I am trying to be as honest with them as I can.
they never spoke to me again.
The oldest was around 20 at the time. He went for a time after we quit but then he stopped going too. Read all the books we had read and made his own decision. He is still friends with some JWs, the one he grew up with. Won't go to one friends house anymore, because they just nag him about meeting attendance.
The middle kids were 11 and under. The youngest was 2. The middle kids were happy about not going anymore. Asked us repeatedly to celebrate Christmas and birthdays. We kept telling them we would think about it. And finally we celebrated. Christmas 98 was our first holiday we celebrated. Kept it simple, not tree or decoration, just surprised them with presents and the kids were so happy. All birthdays followed that year with everyone getting something on each birthday. Have to make up for lost years. The youngest doesn't remember KH at all.
Sadie
The children are a little bewildered but the 6-year-old is already planning for the loot he's going to get at his 7th birthday party. Our introspective, intense 9-year-old doesn't say much about it. Neither of them miss the meetings (Jackson - the 6-year-old - always slept through them anyway), but Jennie said she kind of misses her friends though they didn't pay much attention to her at the meetings. She's right - WE were always the ones to go up, talk, make plans, without much reciprocation. I think she is having a hard time coming to terms with it and felt kind of weird going to her first birthday party and a sleepover at a (horrors!) school friend's house last weekend, but so far the earth hasn't stopped revolving and the birthday party was a lot of fun, and now she's asking if she can buy a Christmas tree for her dollhouse. Maybe next year!
Nina the Free
Fortunately, my daughters never became JWs and were elated once I left. We always got along great, but now we get along even better. I feel so sad over all of you who have kids that won't speak to you over this damned religion.
Lew W
At first they (17 &14) were very upset and cried and were praying for me. Then once I got them to listen to logic and they realized it wasn't the "truth" they are so happy to be FREE. My daughter had her first birthday this last summer, we are looking forward to our first Christmas. Oh yeah my son won 1st place at the school for the most Goulish Halloween costume last week.
