How did your KIDS react when you left? (page 2)

alamb

ok, what did everyone say to them? the ones who were indoctrinated?

lv4fer: how did you do it?

My kids were still fairly young when we left. The two youngest don't even remember going to meetings or assemblies - they were 1 and 3 years of age - and when they see pictures where they're dressed up in meeting clothes, they ask if we were going to a party or a wedding.

Our son was about 8, and his first reaction to not going to meetings anymore was "Well can I get rides to the meetings with Brother R?"

He was very excited a few months later about inviting friends over for what turned out to be a surprise 9th birthday party for him. It was just odd because we had it on a Saturday afternoon and kept the blinds closed over the front windows of the house, just in case we had any unexpected dub visitors.

The way we explained things to him was something like "Moms and Dads do things because they think it's the right thing to do, but sometimes they make mistakes, sometimes they make really BIG mistakes - like believing in something that isn't really true - and because they don't want to believe in lies they admit the mistakes and try to change to make things right again." It made sense to him, and I think that while he was disappointed initially that we would make such a glaring mistake - partly because we didn't really know it - he respects that we were willing to take responsibility for our mistake in following the JWs and do something about it.

Our kids haven't missed out on things like Cubs and Brownies, or skating lessons or soccer, the way I did when I grew up "dub". When we observe Christmas or other holidays it's like I'm making up for lost time, and seeing it the way my kids do, the way I never had the chance to do when I was younger.

Love, Scully

joannadandy

My children beat me with switches and threatened to burn me at the stake.

No wait those weren't my children. They were gremlins.

kenpodragon

I will have to ask him when he comes out.

My thought

Dragon

mamashel

Mine were all very happy. They hated getting ready for meetings.

Now their even happier because of getting to celebrate the holidays,

mamashel

refiners fire

Well I didnt have children and was living at home with the folks when the whole family, parents and kids, left around the same time. So I was lucky, noone hassled anyone about it. My brother left first, he was 18 (about 1978) and announced to the old man that he was quitting. Big gutsy move.I will never forget that day.The old man tried every form of threat and manipulation in the book to get him to recant, but my brother wouldnt give in, so the old man fell to guilt and threats of suicide as a final manipulation, but my brother still didnt give in. My old man was then out of tricks and became generally self piteous and maudlin. Anyway, shortly thereafter the old man got caught with his pants down and he left too. This produced a general family exodus.

mrs rocky2

Our oldest had just gotten her driver's license a few months prior to our cold turkey leaving. She continued to drive herself to meetings for a while...until she got tired of the people asking her where mom and dad were. The youngest quit with us but continued dropping in with her grandmother occasionally, just to remind herself why she didn't want to go anymore. Neither were baptized. The youngest has moved on, found a comfortable place spiritually. The older has not defined her belief system yet and continues to be angry at anything resembling religion, especially everything associated with WT. We no longer discuss religious or spiritual matters when she is present. She feels the most betrayed by the Borg. She was the center of attention most of the time, an ideal unbaptised publisher, outgoing, every body's friend. When she stopped attending meetings she found how shallow her friendships within the organization really were. There were no pleas from her JW friends to come back, or even why did any of us stop coming to meetings. We left cold turkey, her JW 'friends' judged her just as quickly. I think initially both children felt uncomfortable and worried about salvation (what if Armageddon comes?) but over time have learned WT theology was not gospel truth.

Mrs R

JeffT

Our youngest was only three and has little if any memory of it. Our oldest (12 at the time) told us that he'd made up his mind that when he turned thirteen he was going to tell us he wanted no part of it. Our daughter (11 then) was a little confused by it, but was happy to start celebrating holidays and the like. None of them seem to have been traumatized by the experience.

dsgal

OMG,my children were elated when I left.They were overjoyed to be able to celebrate things again and be part of LIFE.

Deleted

We are all out, leaving at the same time. Two things struck me.

1. I asked our son what he thought about not going to meetings. He said that it felt like we had left a minimum security cult.

2. I told my kids that I had already decided years ago that if they needed a blood transfusion they would have got it, to which our son gave a great sigh of relief and said thank God for that. I hadn't realized what it must have felt for our kids for all those years thinking that they might die because of their parents' beliefs.

Peace

How did your KIDS react when you left?

Share this