my story

by nelly1 22 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Cyn

  Hello Nelly,

  I am not feeling very "UP" for long responses( I have depression) but I want to thank YOU...you said much tghat I could relate to and I also saw and experience the lack of love......and was " marked" and never knew why... except that I was depressed and Vocal to the elders about the lack of love........

  I was thinking abut your husband ( I always tried to reason things out in the org and althought I KNEW at one level I was right about them I waited YEARS until I had a mental breakdown) but here goes my reasoning where your husband is concerned: as I recall the husband is the head abd is responsible for the sspirituality of his wife and even those in the congregation that are " more spiritual" ( bunch of crap usually they have spieiruality in reverse)........are to "help" those " weaker"

  soooo why is it that YOUR husband could leave you on the basis of YOUR being spriitualy weak rathe than HELP you ( mind you I am using THEIR own standards which are crap but well)....

  another things is this: I knew of an eldersw ife that slapped her own daugther in law she had a feud with the girl's mother and would constantly SAY AWFUL THINGS to her NEWLY WED daughter in law about her own mother........the girl put up with lots.......then gets slapped and as far as I know the elders wife was never disciplined to the extent that yoru friend was....... it seems to me that it is all aboytr WHO you are.......and from what I saw VERY OFTEN the truely meek were abused and scapegoated.................................

  cyn............
• 

  czarofmischief

  You're safe now, Nellie. They can't hurt you. They think they have so much power, but they are the weakest things on the face of the earth.

  CZAR
• 

  ugg

  i am really sorry for you....but,,,sadly not surprized....welcome,,,,hugs.....
• 

  BluesBrother

  Welcome, Nelly. I am so sorry to read of all that you and your family have been through.

  Take heart from all the support that you may get here. Keep posting.
• 

  riz

  welcome to the forum, nelly

  it's good to know that you're not alone in all of this. stick around!

  riz
• 

  core

  Hope that writing about your terrible experiences and the concerns shown by the responses helps in some way.

  Yes I also know how it feels to see the 'stars' in the cong get all the privileges......and to take children home from the meeting in tears (of deep despair) at the unfairness

  Hope you can start to put this behind you and get your life back in your own hands
• 

  AwakenedAndFree

  uncaring stern mean so called christians who are hypocrites they get on that platform and preach love and christianity and as soon as they put a toe off that platform they do the opposite, and what i have heard about the pharissees is soo true they r just like them only worse, id really appreciate hearing from anyone who has had similar to me, i need the encouragement..

  Dear Nelly1,

  I felt the same way when I attended the meetings.

  Welcome to the forum. Looking forward to your future posts.

  Christian Love,

  AwakenedAndFree
• 

  Torn

  Dear Nelly

  I was very saddened reading your story. I know what you mean about uncaring and unloving elders...there are a lot of elders who are merely 'clashing symbols, (1 Cor 13:1 + 2), and and who are only really interested in discharging their duties on the platform, and as you say, once they have their toe off the platform, the love it gone. The problem is the elders are so bogged down with meetings meetings meetings, preparing preparing, organising, administering, etc etc their little prosaic dull sunday school parts on the platform, that they have no time or energy or inclination to show any real love or concern for the flock. The organisation desperately needs to drop a meeting or two, and instead get elders shepherding and trying to do a lot more show genuine love and compassion for struggling weaker ones, not condemning them and brow-beating them into moulding into all these rigid policies and rules.

  Personally, I was privately approved twice for immorality. I took my medicine and tried hard to get back on track, and did. But I received practically no shepherding, encouragement or love from the elders when I felt I really needed this. I had to ASK for sheperding visits, and they were always prosaic and uninspiring, not heartfelt or searching (except for one elder at a judicial committte I have to admit who really did probe and asked very perceptive questions, compassionately trying to find out who I was and understand where I was coming from). I then relapsed and got disfellowshipped. I do not blame them for doing that to me. I came back in after 9 months, but mainly because it was breaking my heart not being able to have communion with my family. I have not been on FS for the last 6 months, and only attend the odd sunday meeting now and then, mainly to get the latest mags, haha. I have suffered too from the lack of caring and personal interest from 'clashing symbol's' who are meant to be our shepherds, but instead only really want the glory of men that comes from giving flash little talks from the platform.

  Still, not all elders are like this, by no means. I have met some very lovely and caring elders who are really there for solo mums and one's 'on the fringes' in the congregation, ones who really do care about people, but they seem to be getting less and less. I'm not making excuses for those that are not showing love, but it's just sad you have been a victim of some harsh ones and were in what appears a very cold congregation. I would guess you were in a city congregation. Country ones are usual much better.

  I hope u will not get too bitter though. I can understand you have every right to be. There still are a lot of loving and caring JW's. Try to always remember the good things you have learned from the organisation and not be put off too much by any 'wolves in sheeps clothing' who will have to account to Jehovah for the way they have treated, you, including your cruel new husband. In time Jehovah will offer you healing, one way or the other. Keep praying to him.

  Agape

  Torn
• 

  nelly1

  aww thanks tom, im sorry u went through that, you know I realised that after all these years doing what i thought was right in the end I became like a robot, i got more love from my worldly freinds than I did from any witnesses, and as for that thing i married, he treated me like dirt and he appeared to be such a good christian even when i went to his congregation u would have thought he was jehovah himself the way they used to speak of him haaa that was a joke, well i guess I learned a good hard lesson, id rather take my chances letting jehovah judge me if i even make it through armageddon, I just need to heal and that is going to take a long time, the thing is i live in a small town and i have to keep banging into them, im a very loving person but i tell u I hate those ones in my cong after how they treated us mannn the hypocrisy how they hell do they sleep at night, I rekon half these haughty elders are only in the truth cuz they r nothing when they r in the world yet in the truth they have massive power, they get to diss ppl that can make a person very power hungry, never mind they all have alot to answer for and I beleive they will without a smidgen of a doubt, thanks for your encouragement
• 

  nelly1

  oppps i thought ure name said tom its torn sorry what a blonde i am LOL