by Mary 13 Replies latest jw friends
It is true that expectaion and preperation can prepare you for the blow, my previous wife died unexpectedly at age 33 and the kids and I were shattered.
My father died of cancer when (quite) old, so we were at least ready for bad news, although it was still a hard thing to deal with.
The point is, death happens and you MUST acknowledge the fact.
Bad as it will be when the time comes, (and I hope, not for a LONG time) preperation can help you to deal with it.
searcher.
...for years I totally and completely believed that the Big A would be here long before now, and what a wonderful feeling that was to think that I'd never have to see my parents die. I feel betrayed, I feel like a fool for believing these lies and I'm angry and the whole damn thing.
((((((Mary))))))
I very much identify with what is being said here. Facing you own mortality when you have spent a lifetime deferring your life decisions because you thought that the new system was around the corner is the toughest single thing that any ex witness has to face. Facing the mortality of the people you love is even tougher, especially if they are still deluded into thinking they are going to live forever, and you see them making the same mistakes you have made.
Hi Mary, I found when I faced my first serious operation that my views on death altered. I realized that the only life we really can say we have is this moment, then the next, then the next. It is so important not to waste our moments thinking we are guaranteed another one. Life is precious and shouldn't be wasted thinking that there is more just around the corner. All life can only be lived in the present. Here are 2 quotes that I keep on my refrigerator.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today is a gift. That's why it's called 'the present'. (Loretta LaRoche)
Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. Don't miss it. (Leo Buscaglia)
Mary, life can be such a bitch at times. Tell me do your parents feel cheated? I mean they have been in the organization I gather a long time and they have believed that the Big A was emminent and now your dear parents are 71 yrs of age. They must feel somewhat distressed and they probably feel bad about placing this burden upon you now. They sound like wonderful parents and you sound like your in agony over this. I feel greatly for you right now. Dealing with this is terrible. I remember when my father passed away, no one was prepared as we thought he would survive his surgery and when complications and refusual of blood and then heomorraging occured, my dad required a second surgery from which we never regained conscienciousness and then passed away. My mom was lost, nothing was prepared. At least Mary your parents want to have things prepared and that is a good thing even a sad as it makes one feel. Death is a tragic thing but with life there is death. We can't escape that. If at any time you need to talk e-mail me. I will gladly listen. We need one another when times are good and when times are sad and rough. So please do not hesitate to contact me. Please feel my great big hugs and kisses coming your way.
Love,
Orangefatcat, aka Terry
