losing the shadow of Jehovah.

sleepy

Just the other night I was feeling a bit down and when I went to bed I started to pray , then remebered I dont believe in God.

My whole life I believed there was a supreme being watching over me , who I could talk to and was listening to our prayers.Its hard to get rid of that feeling from the back of you mind.

Sometimes,when I do something I think I shouldn't , I start to say a quick prayer but then stop when I realise I'm just talking to myself.

I wonder If deep down in my unconscious some part of me will always believe in a God because it was programmed into me as a Kid.I dont believe there is sufficient evidence that there is a god nor am I religious so my logic takes over and tells me how stupid the idea is.

Do we ever loose the feeling of Jehovah looking over us like a shadow ?

Edited by - sleepy on 12 November 2002 12:5:9

Matty

Recently I was praying out loud, but in my mind I was thinking "You don't fu*king exist, and even if you do, you've made my life a complete f*cking misery, so what the hell am I doing talking to you!". I'm very glad I didn't say that out loud as I was on the Kingdom Hall platform at the time!

Edited by - matty on 12 November 2002 11:22:17

Sentinel

Sleepy,

I understand just how you are feeling. For a very long time, I felt that way too. Even when I was an active JW, I felt my prayers were not heard. When I left, I felt so lost, I didn't pray at all.

But, here is something that helped me so much. Jehovah is the name that some people have give the "god of the early christians". Does that mean it is the correct translation? Does that even mean that he is the almight creator of everything in the universe? I doubt it. There is so much we don't know.

I believe that we have an inbred connection to the creators, but sometimes we forget how to reach out to them. I call my "prayers" pleadings. I speak to my father/mother creators of the universe as if I were a small child. I ask them to guide me and to help me know the paths I am to take to be in tune with my soul's journey in this life. I thank them for my life. It has worked for me. Maybe it will be just what you need to help you through this bad time.

Leaving JW's tends to take everything spiritual away, because that is what they want us to believe. That is so very far from the truth. It is only in "leaving" that we truly are open to live and experience this life the way we are meant to. When you connect to your creators, a whole new world is opened up to you.

JH

I personally believe in God, but does he answer our prayers like we would like. I don't think I ever had a prayer answered. But I still pray once in a while, not like the hypocrits do at Mc Donalds taking the morning break in the field service over a coffee and apple pie just so that all can see that they have a good relationship with God.

TR

JH,

But I still pray once in a while, not like the hypocrits do at Mc Donalds taking the morning break in the field service over a coffee and apple pie just so that all can see that they have a good relationship with God.

Good point. This was something the 'hovahs are famous for. Have a loud "spiritual" conversation or prayer in public so others will get a "witness". What a load.

TR

Dizzy Cat

Matty:

Why bother going to meetings with that particular mindset? I'm not sure I understand. If I think back to when I used to attend meetings'n'stuff, if I had thought in my head "you don't fucking exist", that I would not have had the motivation to attend.

Whats the point ?

Matty

I'm still at that stage where I don't really know who God is anymore. I don't know whether he exists or not and I'm not entirely sure I really want to know him even if he does exist. Sleepy, I do exactly the same as you do. I start praying to myself, and then feel confused.

Dizzy, I'm a born and bred Witness, who 9 months ago decided it just wasn't the truth anymore, I'm now in the process of a fade out.

Latte

Sleepy,

I too, find myself praying.....then realizing that I really should keep the 'airways' open for more needy ones ie: victims etc. Heck...if he doesn't hear the prayers of the innocent little children...then most certainly he won't hear mine.

I know that it's a habit that is hard to let go...yes.....a habit.

(((((Sleepy & Mrs)))))

Francois

Perhaps quiting the JWs, or fading out from the JWs, or however you wish to style it would be easier if once and for all we, as individuals, could forever renounce the concept of Jehovah. When you think about it, the Jehovah concept is ancient. It is a concept of God as a tribal phenomena, a God of an illiterate, savage, wandering, primitive people. And these people created a God that looked and acted just like them. This concept may have been higher and more noble than that held by the Hebrews neighbors, but it was primitive nonetheless.

In our religions, humans have for the last two thousand years attempted to comport the concept of God (Jehovah) as held by the Hebrews with the concept of God (Father) as held by The Master. Such blending is not possible. The God of the Hebrews was just barely super-human, complete with all human faults and failures writ large. The Father concept taught by The Master discloses a super-human being best described by: "God is Love." The two concepts are not compatible. And this is the problem I have with all Christian religions, that they attempt to teach and to worship this pasted together collage of a God, part angry thunderer of Sinai, part loving father of all.

We need to reject and forget this all-purpose ancient, primitive angry God who is trotted out by the JWs to scare His children, and regard only the Loving Father of the Master, who would never countanance fear or guilt as a motivator.

My two cents.

Matty

Thanks Francois, that's really given me some food for thought.

losing the shadow of Jehovah.

Share this