Welcome to the board
You have many questions, and now that you've found this site, and presumably others, on the net, then I suggest you read, read, and read some more.
When we were JWs we were used to being handed answers to our questions on a platter. Now, we have the freedom to find our own answers. Don't let anyone try to force their opinions on you. No one has THE answer to everything. And you don't have to be able to answer everything now. You have the rest of your life to work out what life is all about.
Enjoy it.