Ultimate Conundrum Update

by SYN 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • SYN
    SYN

    An update on my present situation with my Dub friend!

    It's a bit of a pickle, to be honest. He's a great guy, and his wife is a lovely girl, I just can't stand to break their bubble.

    Let me get you guys up to date with events that occurred recently twixt him & I.

    We all spoke at a recent event at Microsoft, and I pretty much had to coach him through all the things he would say, make sure he got it right. Previously, he'd shocked me by saying "I've only ever spoken for 5 minutes at my church for a 100 people" and revealing he's a Witness, so now I was giving him some instructions on how to handle something more along the lines of a public talk. As soon as he got up onto the stage (well technically the stage was at the bottom of an amphitheatre type presentation room) I felt like jumping up and screaming out "This is NOT the Theocratic Ministry School!" but I restrained myself, heehe.

    He started talking and got pretty nervous, but calmed down after about ten minutes. One striking thing about our speeches was that they were in a format where questions could be asked at any point about anything by the audience - this must have unsettled him a little bit, considering the fact that such a thing is "verboten" and very much against the grain of any Dub gathering at all. He handled it with great aplomb though, and gave a really impressive presentation. Seems that he felt the fear, but handled it (Microphone "Handling") Note that there were no microphones or speakers in evidence - it was all done person-to-person, with our natural voices only. You could tell he was used to speaking with a microphone, as his voice was pretty soft initially

    My main problem here is that this guy is becoming pretty good friends with me, and he assumes I don't even know much about his "religion", but I have this secret coiled up inside me like a snake that threatens to strike one day when I let slip an inappropriate and wholely damning Theocratic Phrase (TM) that will give the entire game away. For now, I'm hedging my bets and forming an action plan - I can tell that he's not a happy camper. His wife is very far from being hypercontent herself - she sits at home everyday while he puts food on the table, and she is not the kind of girl who takes lightly to that sort of treatment (she's very feisty), but then, that is what the Society wants, so that is what she does. Thus he constantly has money issues, even though he doesn't have a bad job, purely because looking after two people can be a draining activity financially speaking.

    So I think for now I will just keep quiet, and hopefully one day an opportunity will present itself that will allow me to make a decisive blow, all the while not telling him that I am in fact an Apostate Guy (TM), because I know the instant I say anything along those lines the Apostate Shields (TM) will be erected (LOL) and he will stop listening to what I say.

    Anyone have any advice on this? Things I could do? Or should I not rock the boat?

    [SYN], Worried Class.

  • Francois
    Francois

    Don't rock the boat. Now or later. IF you rock it now you know the outcome. If you rock it later, you will be accused of deceit. No way out. Some things are best left unsaid, unrevealed, and forever hidden. I think this is one of them.

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    SYN,

    Who know's if the friendship grows further, they may in fact turn to you for answer's to thier jw doubts. Did you ever meet a jw who did not entertain at least some (doubt)?

    Timing could be the answer to your conundrum.

    Danny

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    SYN, first of all, damn you for making me laugh so loud [with the links under "honest", and "anything"] that I almost got kicked out of the computer room here at the university.

    Second of all, I would stay quiet. If he should find out you are an aostate, he might very lickely go all JW on you, with shunning etc. Stay quiet, and drop a well chosen seed of doubt his way every now and then. If he's doubting the JW already, you will succeed this way. If he's hardcore JW, he'll stay firm in his belief, but you will not loose him as a friend.

    Good luck.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    SYN,

    This is not territory you should (or even need) be entering. He's married and he's a Dub. Time to beat a retreat.

    Ozzie

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Ozzie,

    Iam puzzeled by your response. What does being married, being a jw, have to do with it?

    Danny

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Danny,

    Quite simple, it spells (smells) trouble!

    Ozzie

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Ozzie,

    I know your appreciation for brevity. But your answer does not in the least satisfy my curiosity about your above advice.

    Danny

  • undercover
    undercover

    Apparently he's not a super zealous JW or he would have done tried to convert you by now. Also saying that he has only spoken at his "church" shows he might be a bit embarrassed to say he's a JW.

    Time will tell how strong a JW he is. In time you may be able to delicately drop some info for him to digest. My .02

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Danny, it's simple. He is a JW, married to a JW. Should he begin to doubt, or even exit the JW, his marriage would likely fall apart. JW that are married to JW's, have an extreme difficult time when they begin to doubt, or leave the cult.

    Plus, they are "supported" by their spouses to go to meetings reguraly, get more attention from the elders, and all together are in deep.

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