by SYN 13 Replies latest jw friends
Danny,
I'm sure you don't need it spelled out too much! Getting too close to a married couple, or especially one partner, when they are experiencing some difficulties in their marriage is fraught with danger. Only grief can result. This is magnified by his being (or claiming to be) a Dub. God knows they're subject to conflicting emotions, repressed or otherwise, at the best of times.
Cheers, Ozzie
Ozzie,
Thanks for the clarification. What you say makes sense.
Vivamus,
Most of us came from similar situations, there are very few who make an exodus from dubdum along with other family member's. Amazing, VeniceIT, Mulan, and a few other's are unique in this senario.
Leaving this damn cult is alway's going to be a miserable process, usually a decision based solely on individual choice.
One of those times in life, where no other person or thing, can help you...........except maybe the listening ear of a friend(?).
Danny
SYN,
The greatest gift any person can give to another is life. Some do it through blood donations, or upon their own death by way of organ donations. Some do it by pushing someone out of the way of an impending disaster. Such people are heros.
You have a wonderful opportunity before you to give this person life. Yes a real life, just by sharing the truth about the truth with this person.
And you are obviously a good-hearted person just dying to do so. Please find the best way and the proper time and do so.
Freeman
Edited by - freeman on 22 November 2002 9:19:51
Thanks for your responses guys!
Let me put it this way - I'm only going to move when I see a chance, because right now I have the upper hand - but I will choose my moment carefully. The whole marriage thing turns this into a veritable hairball...so I may land up just leaving him be.
Sometimes, people can only exit the Tower by themselves, and nothing anyone says can convince them. This guy is pretty smart, and as I'm heard saying here quite often, an informed Dub is an EX Dub.
But I will definitely be creating some engineered conversations and things to get him thinking, but the last thing I'm gonna do is allow him to find out I'm an Apostate Guy (TM). Maybe I can show him that just because I've left the BORG doesn't mean I've turned into a heathen with little horns who does all sorts of despicable things. Maybe he will eventually realize that Apostates are really just people...
So pretty much all I'm going to do for now is monitor the situation. There's still time - he's pretty young, and so is his wife. It has to be gentle, and most likely self-engendered, otherwise there will just be loads and loads of BS which I'm not really mature enough to cope with. So he's safe for now
Apparently he's not a super zealous JW or he would have done tried to convert you by now.
Nope, no conversion attemps. Which is odd in itself. Perhaps he's just trying to blend in - which is what I would have done if I were in his shoes, and is what I actually did. This is the first step to leaving the BORG, and as such can be seen as a good sign.
I'm sure you don't need it spelled out too much! Getting too close to a married couple, or especially one partner, when they are experiencing some difficulties in their marriage is fraught with danger. Only grief can result. This is magnified by his being (or claiming to be) a Dub. God knows they're subject to conflicting emotions, repressed or otherwise, at the best of times.
Couldn't agree more, Ozzie. I'm not a marriage-breaker - that's the last thing I want to happen! Which is why I'm being very careful here. Stealth is the word.
At the end of the day, he will have to come to me. I'm not going to be responsible for broken marriages/ruined family relationships. BUT, I will always be his friend, no matter what. That's pretty much my decision for now.
