question for parents

musky

I have small children. I was raised a witness, so I never celebrated holidays. Now, I don't go to meetings, don't agree that the watchtower is Jehovahs sole channel of communication. My wife and I still don't feel comfortable celebrating christmas. We have given our kids an alternative of gifts at a different time of year. They are too young to understand any of this yet. My question is, are there any out there that have been in my shoes and now have older children that are questioning why there is no celebrations, and not going to the meetings either? Is it hard seeing them grow up to marriage age, then see them go off and celebrate holidays? I am not looking for an argument about celebrating holidays. Just thought there were some who have had this experience.

hippikon

We have two small boys (12 months and 2 years) This is the first year we will do the christmas thing but only on a small scale - Just so the kids have something to get excited about

safe4kids

Hi Musky,

I can't answer all of your questions, but I'll share what I can. I was sorta in your shoes: raised a witness, never celebrated the holidays, and left the dubs with young children, around age 6 or so. We did celebrate xmas, but on a very subdued scale at first, and it was difficult to know what to say to them about why we were doing it when we hadn't before, and why we were no longer going to meetings. I tried to be as honest with them as possible, giving explanations that were age appropriate, of course, and basically they just followed along as I fumbled my way through developing a new belief system and figuring out how I was going to live my life now that I was able to decide for myself.

I know it's hard, but please remember that it's okay to let your kids know that you may not have all of the answers, and that you may change your mind about things as you go along. Best wishes to you and your family.

Dana

Edited by - safe4kids on 24 November 2002 12:29:48

Jesus Christ

All I know is that some people (not me, I'm Jesus and always celebrate my birthday) are more than happy to do Christmas on the biggest scale possible! Get a big tree and put all kinds of lights on the house. Hey, those assholes don't have any control anymore so go flaunt it! So the kids may not understand why they didn't do it in the past but that would just make it all that much more fun and exciting to do it for the first time.

SixofNine

I think jesus is just being silly.

If it's not important to you, don't pretend that it is. That is just reacting. Be honest, and be your own person. Isn't that the kind of lesson you want to teach your kids?

My daughter (10) has taken up the cause of getting gifts for some underprivileged kids who are listed at her mom's work. She chose one for me, and one for herself (her money). I'm happy and proud about her spirit of giving, but doubt Christmas will ever hold much allure for me personally. If it ever does mean anything to me, it will likely be because I get involved romantically with someone who holds romantic notions about chrimas.

MegaDude

Christmas is whatever it means to you.

Christmas is huge in Japan and they don't have any beliefs about it being the celebration of the Messiah's birth. It's just an occasion to get together with the ones you love and give presents.

I personally love Christmas. It's fun to get together, have a nice meal and drinks, see your family and give presents to the kids and you and yours.

As far as the JW view of Christmas, it's completely bogus. The JWs would have you believe they discovered Christmas was pagan and stopped celebrating it. Not true. The founder of Jehovah's Witnesses, Charles T. Russell, was FULLY AWARE of the pagan origin of many of the Christmas traditions, but he didn't give a damn. He said:

...since the celebration of our Lord's birth is not a matter of divine appointment or injunction, but merely a tribute of respect to him, it is not necessary for us to quibble particularly about the date. We may as well join with the civilized world in celebrating the grand event on the day which the majority celebrate - "Christmas day". (Watchtower, December 1, 1904, p. 364).

Edited by - megadude on 24 November 2002 13:49:10

musky

Thanks everyone for taking the time to answer.

Hippikon, Time will tell, hey?

safe4kids, I guess I will try to let my guard down a bit with them as they get older, allowing them to see me do some "fumbling"

Jesus Christ, I realize that some people had control of me for a while. O.K. , I can deal with that. But as of right now, not celebrating is a decision that I made for myself. Im not worried about what others think.

Sixofnine,

" If it's not important to you, don't pretend that it is. That is just reacting. Be honest, and be your own person. Isn't that the kind of lesson you want to teach your kids?"

Right on the mark! Thanks

Francois

Christmas is not for grownups in the first place, IMHO. Christmas is for kids. (Of course greedy, unspeakable marketeers have made it the mongo sales season for everything from glow-in-the-dark condoms to new BMWs for every adult. The goniffs). But really. Christmas is for kids.

Why would you want to take Christmas away from your kids already? Are you gonna quit being a JW or are you not?

Are you really gonna let 13 senile octogenarians in Brooklyn tell you what to do even after you've gone via some sort of remote control magic? And your kids are gonna suffer for it? Oy Vay !!!

Get with the program. Go get a tree. Go get the decorations. Decorate the tree with your kids. Make it a surprise one night. Put presents under the tree. Give your wife a goose for Christmas! Maybe she'll goose you back. Get the stick out of your ass, and the WT out of your sub-conscious.

Have a little fun with your family before they're grown. You'll thank me already.

Jesus Christ

Franc has a really good point there. Who cares if you like it or not. I'm sure your children would. Besides, you had a cult to explain why they didn't celebrate Christmas before. What's your excuse now? Denying it to your kids is just kind of mean. Its a great way to spend some time with your family in a very loving enviroment. So you may not agree with the origins of the holiday. Big whoop. Do you agree with the origins of wedding rings? Do you wear one despite your reservations? Don't make your children outsiders because you still hold onto the BS of your old religous cult.

MYOHNSEPH

"Are you really gonna let 13 senile octogenarians in Brooklyn tell you what to do even after you've gone via some sort of remote control magic?"

I, for one, sure as hell ain't! But I'm also not gonna let anyone or anything else tell me I have to hang lights on my house or put up a tree in my living room or tell me when I have to give gifts to my friends and family. I agree in spirit, Francois, with what your saying, but having the WT in my sub-conscious has nothing to do with why I don't get into Christmas. My four daughters are all grown and have kids of their own now and they all do the Christmas thing. I got not problem with it. It's their choice. But to me, that's the rub. "Choice!" Tradition and commerce try to back people into a corner and cause them to think they have no choice. It takes away the spontaneity of giving, which for me, ruins it.

But let me emphasize, I'm not criticising anyone for making the choice to get into the Christmas thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I just don't think everyone who chooses not to is still dragging around a misguided WT conscience.

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