question for parents (page 2)

jgnat

I will leave you alone with your decision on what you want to do with your Christmas. It might be a good idea for you and your wife to establish some family traditions, however, even if they are not associated with a specific holiday. The memories my children treasure are the ones that I established with some kind of family tradition. Those little events are like glue that kept our little family together and formed my children's identity. The vacation they remember the most vividly was a 5 day trip to a campground only hours from where we live. I remember it was cut short when I heard my mom was ill. My children warmly recall every detail of that holiday. I did not have a camera, so we collected brochures at every restaurant, museum, and pit stop along the way. We also picked up feathers and interesting rocks. And when we got home, we glued the whole mess on a large poster board. That poster was prominently displayed in the family room for years.

So what was so different from that holiday than all the others? That silly poster anchored their pleasant memories of that trip.

Scully

When my husband and I were first on our way out of the Borg, we decided to forego the Christmas tree and focus on seasonal (winter) decor instead. A nice white cyclamen for a table decoration, some evergreen swags over the doorways and paper cut-out snowflakes on the windows. We added snow-people the next year. It wasn't "obviously" Christmas, but it was festive. Add in some nice baking and a family meal, and you have a lovely gathering. That's what it's all about anyway, right?

BTW, we did something similar at Halloween the first year we decided not to do the Borg thing and hide in the basement. I bought a few ears of decorative corn and tied a bow around the husks and hung them on the front door. We got a small bale of hay (which we used afterward to spread over the garden before the snow came) and a variety of gourds and squashes and a pumpkin. No jack-o-lantern, though. What could the dubs say?? It was more autumny decor than blatantly Halloween. One "sister" (elder's wife) even copied my idea and decorated her own front porch with seasonal items.

You can get away with the decorating if you're creative. We put up strings of white mini-lights on our front deck in the summer for those nice evenings. We just haven't taken them down yet! Besides, they look so pretty with our inflatable snowman watching guard over our deck now....

Love, Scully

musky

megadude, "It's just an occasion to get together with the ones you love and give presents."

I suppose many people figure thats what all the holidays are about, just good times together.

MYOHNSEPH,

" But I'm also not gonna let anyone or anything else tell me I have to hang lights on my house or put up a tree in my living room or tell me when I have to give gifts to my friends and family."

I could not have said it better myself.

jgnat, That was a great story about the camping. I try to provide those memories for my kids too. We did the camping thing about 1/2 hour from our house, and the kids had a blast! I think its all about we, as parents establishing a close relationship with our kids. Not our kids caring for us beecause we put up lights and trees and they get stuff. I trhink they will understand we still love them. Its experiences like the one you provided that will provide the lasting great memories from our kids.

musky

Scully, "We put up strings of white mini-lights on our front deck in the summer for those nice evenings. We just haven't taken them down yet! " LOL. Thats what you call gettin around the system!

You did not mention if you had kids. If you do, do they consider you as celebrating the holidays?

Mulan

I too grew up as a witness, and raised our 4 children that way. Now all are adults, all out of the JW's, for about 5 years, and all but one celebrates Christmas. The one who doesn't, and his wife, do come to Christmas parties. They are just too newly out, to do it yet, but I think they will in time. They don't want their boys to feel left out. Last year they bought presents for the older one (the other was a baby) to have Christmas morning, just so he could go back to school with a story.

It's hard for kids to be different. I know, and so do you. Christmas was the hardest holiday for me to deal with in school..........no parties, no gift exchange, couldn't participate in half the stuff that time of year, and going back after winter break was painful. I am glad we all are doing it now, because it is really fun...............I am 57 years old and love it.

Don't knock it until you've tried it. I recommend you not deprive your children of this. You don't have to do it up on the grand scale that some do, but you can have a lot of fun doing it small.

2cute2btrue

such a tricky subject for us with kids

i have an eight year old and tho i was never baptised i did bring me daughter up to have jw beliefs up untill about six. i could probly never bring myself to put up a xmas tree or hold a bday party it would just feel too weird (i was brought up in the truth myself and went wild at 16 and had a baby to a wordly)

however im kind of lucky in that my girls father can take care of the pagan celebrations with his family so the onus is not all on me, although i do by pressies at the appropriate times and on her last bday we treated her to dinner at a restaurant and a movie + pressies. luckily she is an easygoing kid and i think kids in general are pretty adaptable (+ i dont think many kids would complain about xtra fun + not having to be so 'different' anymore)

there just thought i'd put in my bit!

2cute2btrue

by the way i fully agree with you MYOHNSEPH

Scully

musky:

You did not mention if you had kids. If you do, do they consider you as celebrating the holidays?

Yes, we have three: a boy, now aged 16 and two girls, ages 10 1/2 and 9.

After a couple of years of the "low-key" celebrations, we graduated and now we have a "Holiday Tree". We always exchanged gifts around Christmas time during our dub-days, because our wedding anniversary happens to be a few days before Christmas.

We all enjoy our special family celebration.

Love, Scully

JH

It seems as if you are in a "no mans land". Thats what happens when we don't go to the meetings anymore, and we are still programed to be a dub.

Iwasyoungonce

musky,

Soon my 2 small children will suffer a tremendously fun christmas. We will eat till we can't eat no more have more presents than anyone deserves. I will see most of my family...Even the ones that I do not really like...It will be awful. We drink and laugh and drink and laugh and drink...Horrible. The kids in the family all get together and play. And have so much fun. Somehow it always helps to make life a little better and easier to just accept that everything is going to be OK.

If you deny yourself the beauty of christmas I hope that your kids find the spirit of it for themselves in spite of your not wanting it when they grow up.

There are enough reasons to be bitter about life. xmas is at least one excuse to partae. musky have you or do you have any family that does in fact do the normal holidays? I plan to start my Thanksgiving turkey soon. Poor tom. But he will taste so good.

And to those who say that christmas is (only) for kids...HA! Then I refuse to grow up! (It is not evil to have fun)

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