Embarrassing moments on stage

by freedom96 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  freedom96

  As a kid growing up with an elder father, from time to time we would have parts on stage at the meeting or assembly.

  My dad had a certain talk he must have delivered to a couple dozen different congregations, about families. During the talk, he would have my sister and I cause a scene during the talk, in which we would ultimately run on stage argueing. We even had props like toys that would get broken, and then he would talk about how to solve the problem.

  That wasn't as bad as having a part on the assembly, when you had a couple thousand people looking at you. I remember very well one time, my family and another one were discussing bibical issues on stage. A nice theocratic type of get together, each of us saying giving a comment. I was young, probably about 12, and my younger sister was on stage too. All of this had been planned for quite some time, so that we would all give the perfect performance. As everyone would give their thoughts, it was coming to me. Everyone had about 1 minute of a prepared answer/ comment. Well, my little sister does her comment, and then takes mine too. The microphone comes to me, and I have no answer at all. I said, "I was going to say what she said." and that was about it. Just felt very embarassing, with so many people watching. Never did hear the end of it for a few weeks.

  But I am sure that doesn't come close to some good stories that are out there.

  Any good embarrassing assembly parts? Or at the meetings?
• 

  cruzanheart

  There was the time I made a sweeping gesture (I'm half Greek so I never had to work on that point of counsel until that night) and knocked the tabletop microphone off the table, off the stage, and into the lap of the School Overseer.

  And there was the time in Australia, at a convention in Darwin held at an open-air school stadium, where a dog wandered onto the stage during a drama presentation and basically made himself at home until the attendants started to try to herd him out. He headed into the stands at that point, and a great many of us took delight in hiding him under our feet as the attendants searched row by row for the dog. They finally caught him but couldn't put him outside because he just came back in again (I think he discovered we had snacks in the stands and was doing a wonderful job of begging). The attendants tried to lock him up in the men's room but every time someone went in, they let him out. That was a fun day!

  Nina
• 

  Duncan

  Hello Freedom 96,

  a year or two back, I posted a couple of memorable stage moments, in a thread started by Anglise.

  One of these was me, the other one I posted about further down was a friend of mine.

  I think/hope this link will work:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=4818&site=3

  Duncan

  Edited by - Duncan on 25 November 2002 12:21:1
• 

  Matty

  There's that legendary story of the brother trying to give a public talk while the rostrum he was facing had one of its legs a little too short. When he leant forward it bobbed to and fro and his notes kept falling to the floor.

  Well, there are two words to describe what a speaker stands in front of to give a talk, Lectern or Rostrum, but unfortunately this brother got the two words confused...! Anyway, he proceeded to announce to a bemused audience: "Excuse me brothers, I seem to have a wobbly RECTUM here!"

  I can't remember who that happened to, it was definitely an Elder in the London area!
• 

  acsot

  An elder who had been widowed for about six months was giving a part about increasing our spiritual appetite, but instead he says (yup, you guessed it!) "brothers and sisters we must always try and increase our sexual appetite". Everyone just about died laughing - one sister was sitting by herself up near the front and every few minutes we'd see her shoulders start shaking as she tried to control her laughter and that would set us off again. I laughed so hard I almost asphyxiated myself! Then the elder blames us for having bad thoughts - "how can you react like that, obviously I meant spiritual appetite, you are impugning bad motives" blah, blah, blah. Which only made us laugh even harder. His poor daughters, teenagers at the time, wanted to die!!!
• 

  wheelwithinwheel

  One day I was asked to pass the microphone. Our hall had just been equipped with the latest in air conditioning, ceiling fans. A brother in the middle of the aisle was asked to comment and I hefted the mike pole into the air anticipating the long reach. The fan grabbed hold to the microphone, snatched it out of my hand and flung it across the room. Fortunately nobody was hit but the worst was I had to go and retrieve the mike with all eyes following me. Then I was asked to see if it was still in working order. Remember testing 1,2,3,1,2 testing?

  Another time a sister with a huge set of teeth was asked to comment. Her younger son decided I was holding the mike too far away from mom, grabbed the pole, and wrenched it towards moms mouth. You guessed it, she got it right in the choppers and the noise was deafening. Everyone thought I was the one who had given her a swat on the piano keys.

  I dont remember passing the mike much after these incidents. I guess I was in my clumsy adolescent days.
• 

  2cute2btrue

  one talk that made an impression on me was given by a very earnest young brother, whos slip of the tounge produced the admonishment to "PUMMELL YOUR BOTTY"

  the audience was in hysterics and one sister was taken aside by and elder after the meeting for not being able to control the giggles - thats how funny it was

  wish you all were there! -classic moment
• 

  Jesus Christ

  Not a story about me but this kid I used to know named Scott W.

  He was doing the bible reading talk and was a short kid so had to stand on a box as kids often do to see over the podium. During his talk he was moving around a little bit, started to lose his balance, grabbed the podium to steady himself, lost his balance, fell off the box, knocked over the podium that knocked over the microphone, and on his way down hit the curtains behind him and tore them down on his way. The way the story goes he just got up and locked himself in the bathroom for the rest of the meeting.

  What's funny (sorta) is that this is the same kid who later had part of his weenie cut off because for some reason he decided to pee out his window and it fell shut while he was doing it.
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  Mulan

  One of my Bible studies came to a Sunday talk, with her two little girls, 4 and 5. They sat in the front row, because they came in late and there were no other seats (about 25 years ago, so lots more people attending back then). I went and sat with them, of course. The speaker was an older brother, very tall, who had a big booming voice. At one of his pauses, the 4 year old said out loud, and pointing right at the speaker "IS THAT GOD?"

  You can imagine that the whole KH burst into laughter. She didn't realize it was her they were laughing at, so all was well. I was laughing so hard, I could hardly control it. Her mother wanted to die.

  Yes, they became JW's too. They moved away, so I don't know what they are up to now. We saw the youngest girl at a D. convention a few years ago, and she was married to an MS, and about 24.
• 

  Xander

  one sister was taken aside by and elder after the meeting for not being able to control the giggles

  OMG!

  That was the HARDEST part - controlling giggles. We had a couple of older sisters in our hall who VERY disapproved of laughter, and would incite the elders to haul you ass IN THE BACK if you were laughing at a mistake.

  So, obviously, whenever a brother would have a funny word slip or what-have-you, nobody laughed. But, for us kids, OH that was hard...rocking back and forth, lips pressed together...

  Similar to what still happened when married in a new hall. I'd see the speaker say or do something that reminded me of a hilarious sketch or something the wife and I had seen, whisper to the wife, and we'd both be supressing laughter through the whole rest of the meeting. (It's kind of a cycle, repressed laughter is, YOU repress, which makes the other person think of the funny topic...and, of course, you trying not to laugh, which is even funnier, making them have to fight harder to stop, which looks silly to YOU, etc.)

  Made meetings go by a lot easier, though!