My favorite Pagan: Carl Sagan
Should I "come out" to my JW mum?
by Sirona 14 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
Sentinel
Hi There,
Hummm, I realize that Wicca and Paganism may not be the same thing. Occult and Devil Worship is a different thing.
Wicca is quite harmless, but is often confused with thoughts of Paganism and the Occult. Many folks have mistaken information about these groups. If you practice something she may really take offense to, you might want to consider telling her outright. If you really wish to pursue these things, and are afraid of her reactions, just let her bring it up as she notices literature, etc.
Recently I came upon a conversation by three well-versed adults, who "mistakenly" thought that Wicca were devil worshipers. I corrected them right away, because the situation was really becoming "unfair" towards the one who was Wicca.
We all know that the JW cannot conceive of anything other than borg, so be prepared to be labeled and rejected should you tell her. Otherwise, just live your life quietly and honestly, and don't worry if she finds your books or discovers your "secret".
My best to you.
Edited by - Sentinel on 27 November 2002 17:39:14
-
Swan
Dear Sirona,
Don't hide it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Don't act like you are.
Don't blurt it out either. Be honest, open, and candid when the subject does come up. If you need an icebreaker, leave one of those books out on the coffee table as if you had been recently looking in it. If she can see that you are comfortable and matter-of-fact about it, maybe she won't take it as badly.
I once told my parents something like this. My mom took it better than my father did, but my mother knew this about me for many years, just not the degree. In fact, we colluded to keep it from my father and the elders. So I can't really point to my experience and tell you about how your Mom will or won't react. I can only tell you that even though I haven't seen them in 9 years, I am glad I told my parents. It was the best thing for me that I ever did. It empowered me, it gave me self-respect, and it helped me to realize the extent of my courage.
Good luck!
Tammy
-
Wren
I'm going through a slow coming out, also. Your topics hit home. Sentinel has a good point with explaining there is a difference between Pagan vs Occult/Satan worship. Many people don't understand & lump it all together.
When I was a JW, my grandmother "came out" in a sense to me about her beliefs. It made all the difference in the world in how she explained it. She was into metaphysics including communing with positive energies/spirits, as I understood it. (Please excuse my lack of correct terms.) This was in the 60's/70's before it became New Age. She explained that she would never have anything to do with Satan worship or any negative energies. She emphasised there are no events of the supernatural in her home. This was such a relief and our good, close relationship was never affected. I could not have handled "demonic activity" at the time.
You cautioned someone awhile back about calling up negative spirits/energies. Downplaying black magic seems in line with Pagan beliefs?
You have the shunning thing to deal with which makes it harder. It may not make a bit of difference but giving a tactful, positive Pagan "witness" may be worth a try.
-
Sirona
Iwasyoungonce: No I am not ashamed of being pagan. You make a good point that I should not have to pretend to be someone I am not....I agree. Its just difficult.
There was a development yesterday. After posting this and reading the replies, I resolved to tell her "something".
Last night she was asking me about a party I'm having and asking me who would be there. I told her that some people would be there from a "spirituality group" that I've been going to. She immediately looked a bit shocked and asked me if its born again christians! (how wrong can you be?!) I said "no". She asked if it was "spiritualism" and I said NO. I chickened out. I told her it was "more along the lines of buddhism". Now before you say anything - this isn't a lie. I do consider my beliefs to be similar in many respects to buddhism. Note that I didn't say I was buddhist.
So how did she react? She's heard the word Buddhism and basically she sat shaking her head saying "oh dear, oh dear....."
The conversation ended well, and I thought that even though I haven't told her the whole story, its maybe a good introduction to ease her into it. She now knows I'm not christian which I think was a hard thing for her to hear.
Sentinel - its just that sort of misinformation that makes it so hard for Wicca/Pagans to tell others of their faith. We all realise that there are devil worshippers, but the trouble is that fundies lump us all together into one group! Yes, I fear that I will be labelled and rejected.
Swan, you may be right that leaving a book out would be an idea. One of the tamer ones perhaps with a non-shocking title! LOL. I would love to have that feeling of empowerment you talked about. I've realised that in many ways I do let my mum upset me and I don't tell her how I feel.
Wren - I think it must be important to reassure others that "black magick" is nothing to do with my practice/beliefs. I recently told someone else (a friend) of my beliefs and she asked me if things fly around my house (cause of demons!) - of course I said "NO!" feeling shocked but I guess to her that is a natural question.
Sirona