Did Being JW make YOU a Social Misfit or HERMIT?

Smoldering Wick

As I sat quietly in my apartment...staring at the computer screen, I got this overwhelming feeling of being totally alone. Don't get me wrong, I feel comfortable alone. But, how did I end up this way?

If you asked someone from my old Kingdom Hall, they would say I did it to myself. I chose to leave the "truth" and thus isolated myself.

"One isolating himself will seek his own selfish longing; against all practical wisdom he will break forth."Proverbs 18:1

I remember all the warnings from the society NOT to isolate yourself...BAD things could happen, you'd commit suicide or worse, succumb to your own Satanic thoughts!

Ok, so I was born into a big organization of people and never really had to learn how to make friends. Your friends were provided for you. You didn't have to put much effort into keeping these friends as they were always there. They had to be nice to you or else they would look like bad witnesses.

Back to my dilemma. Being alone. Lacking any real social skills. Not knowing how or where to meet new friends. Then if I do meet them, how do I keep them?

When I was a witness, I had hundreds of witness "friends." The "worldly" people that I met and got to know along the way weren't called friends, they were "acquaintances." At school or at work I could only get so close to these "worldly acquaintances." No socializing after school or working hours! If I could witness to these acquaintances, GREAT! but, if they didn't accept the 'kingdom message' I gradually moved on.

I remember reading a thread that Lisa wrote about burning bridges. Boy have I done that! (btw...that was a great thread... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=36523&site=3)

Please tell me I'm not alone...(pardon the pun) How many of you who were born and raised as witnesses feel isolated, lack social skills or prefer to live as a hermit?

~wick

(knows you all are my friends class)

Shutterbug

Wick,

Obviously you are not alone, there are too many of us in the same shape you. However you did open my eyes somewhat. I was a loner from the time my mother started forcing me to go to the Kingdom Hall at the age of 12 until the present. My wife, for some reason, is much the same way, so we really don't seem to have the same problem with it as others, and we do have each other. But, is this good? Should we get out more? Probably, we will just have to see. Thanks for sharing.

CBeMe

I was raised a witness from the age of 2 and I am definately a hermit. I enjoy being alone mostly because my social skills are nada. I just don't know haw to interact with groups of people. I feel uncomfortable. If I keep trying will get the hang of it someday? I don't know, but it's nice to know that I am not alone in this. Thank you!!

CBeMe

Elsewhere

Social Misfit... Hermit... yes

Francois

Social misfit? Hermit? Only when I was pretending to be a JW. All the rest of the time I claimed to be a Presbyterian and just kept on keeping on.

wednesday

yes, i understand, i have spent so many years keepng my distance form people b/c they were bad association, that i now find i have trouble just being friendly.All the years i worked and never made close friends, now if i saw those same people and tried to strike up a friendship-well they would wonder what was wrong with me. I have decided the only way is to join some some orgs. but my hubby is resistant-he'd rather live in what i call pergertaroy.(ex sp). I'm determind to beat this-yes the org makes it easy ot find friends, that is part of the draw.But it is so conditional, screw up and u are out. Most people don't have 100 friends in the "world" but u don't have to have that many. a few is all u need. Real friends.

Edited by - wednesday on 5 December 2002 19:17:33

RubyTuesday

YES!! I really don't know if it was because i was a jw.Maybe it's just a personality thing. I am more out going now. I was extremely shy in high school and was labeled a snob.

acsot

I feel more of a misfit with some of my lifelong JW "friends" than I do with those horrible worldly people. Non JWs seem to just accept you with no garbage attached, such as endless conditions and making sure you're saying the right thing all the time, scared of speaking your mind. You can rejected by worldly people, for sure, but usually if you do something to them, i.e. if you're rude, or try and take advantage or whatever. At least it's more honest than JWs who will pretend to be your friend because of the clique you're in - if you're a pioneer, you automatically get pioneer friends (Not!) - but actually couldn't care less about you.

I'm in the process of getting to know more people at work on a social level (after many years of working here!) and they are very open, fun, non-judgmental people. Sometimes I've just observed how others act in social situations to learn sort of what to say or not to say, or I just pick up on a conversation already going on.

You're right, though, the hermetically sealed little world of JWs certainly encourages social misfitness (OMG, did I just invent a word? )

DazedAndConfused

2 for 2 here!

moana

Wick:

Not only did I grow up being a jw but also as an only child. It was so hard to fit in anywhere except that cult when you're a misfit. I don't even believe I fit in with them too well, since I was never invited to the things the other young people did.

To this day I still long for the closeness that I see a lot of siblings share. Being shunned by my mother doesn't help me feel any better about any of it. I thought this was so so many years ago - I never dreamed I'd be dealing with all these jw issues again.

Good thing my hubby constantly reminds me of the good things we have now. I'm kinda bummed out my meetup group isn't getting together this month. DRAT! I really look forward to that.

XXX OOOOO

Did Being JW make YOU a Social Misfit or HERMIT?

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