dating an exjw

by garfield 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mum
    Mum

    garfield,

    Welcome to the forum. Ex-JW's are at various stages of exit depending on several factors, such as how long they were JW's, whether they were born into the religion or converted, how much of their family is in, etc. I feel deeply for the ex-JW's who risk losing contact with their entire family if they leave. There are so many who just go through the motions in order to maintain some sort of contact with family members, a sad situation indeed.

    It sounds as though zanex is blessed with many non-JW relatives, which will make things go much smoother for you. It can put a strain on a relationship when one of the families will not accept the choice made by their family member. I hope you don't get your feelings hurt easily. Please don't ever take anything personally if a JW says something hurtful. They think your eternal salvation and that of zanex is at stake because you have chosen not to belong to their organization. This kind of thinking is not conducive to healthy interaction.

    I wish you both the best. You are wise to come here and get the perspective of the people who post here. We have had varied experiences and come from many different places and walks of life. It helps to learn what others see from where they're standing.

    Regards,

    SandraC

  • garfield
    garfield

    Iwasonceyoung: So how long did it take to leave your wife? Zanex has been out of the "cult" for about 10 years now, but seven of those years he was on a crazy path. It was not until about three years ago now, that he has actually started to face what the religion had done to him. I know everyone goes through a different experience, I am just trying to understand it all.

    Everyone has been so welcoming thank you!

    Mum: Zanex is very blessed with non-JW relatives, they helped him to get to where he is now! Trust me and I am sure Zanex will agree, everything they say I take with a grain of salt. He, over the past six months, has explained much about the deceptive and manipulating things that they do. My problems lie more with I don't understand how they can do that... to their own child?? Where I came from, I could never do anything wrong (even though, I did, and I was punished) my parents loved me UNconditionally...that is something he and many others have never felt. That is really what I don't understand.

  • larc
    larc

    Dear Garfield, you know it is true, how they treat their own children, but you don't understand it. I understand that you don't understand it. All I can say is that is reality, and you have to accept reality, whether you understand it or not.

  • zanex
    zanex

    ahh i see that my better half, garfield, has decided to make a post...;) If I can say anything about her it is that she is a very very down-to-earth person..she is takin my parents with as much grace as she has. (I am quite the lucky guy to have met her) I know she will be readin this...heh heh. 10 points for zanex! Dont hesistate to be brutally honest with her...she can handle it...she may not fully understand everything that I have gone thru within the scope of the jw dynamic but she does her best! thanx garfield fer takin the time to come here and check it out...means a lot to me...:)

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