DFd for gluttony

Tyler_Durden

"Now the works of the flesh are manifest and they are... drunken bouts, revelries, and things like these... those who practise such things will not inherit God's kingdom" (Galatians 5:19-21)

It's 6 months since I disappeared from the dub scene but the elders finally tracked me down! Thing is I so wanna be DFd, I wanna move on with my life... but I need (for personal reasons) to leave the JWs in crazy-style

I've never heard of DFing for gluttony (Gal 5:19-21), so I want to be the circuit/regional first!!!

My question is: what does it take to convice the elders 'my practise of gluttony' has shamed Jah's name, and I need to be removed from the congregation? haha!

Tyler Durden

LB

What's crazy about that? Why not just show up at the kingdom hall naked and sit in the front row?

JH

Go have your break in the field service each morning at McDonalds and eat like a pig. And get the whole car load of brother Disfellowshipped with you by giving them each a coupon for 2 big macs for the price of one.

joannadandy

Invite some elders to your house. Shake their hands with cheto stained fingers. Have various crumbs and stains on your clothes, and explain to them you just can't stop eating! When ever they open their Bibles for words of encouragement, burst into tears and slam your face into a pie, sobbing and chewing.

Now this will take time. They probably won't want to DF you, so you will have to quit going to meetings and out and service and if they ever ask why, tell them you got held up at a burger king on your way to the hall. When they say "but for two hours good brother?" say "it's that damned dollar menu!! And I just got paid today" Again burst into tears and pull a candy bar out of your pocket and stuff it in your mouth, sobbing while chunks of it shoot from your mouth. Crying on their shoulders and smearing chocolate would be a good touch.

Invite them over again, only don't be sorry this time. Tell them you've discovered elastic waist sweat pants and you can go ALL AFTERNOON now. Open a catalog to the muu muu section and circle some garish print, then ask if it's ok if brothers wear dresses to the hall. Then promise to wear a tie with your muu muu.

That's my advice. Best of luck to you!

NeonMadman

Go have your break in the field service each morning at McDonalds and eat like a pig.

How would that make him any different than the rest of the congregation?

Tyler_Durden

Cheers guys

SixofNine

LOL, I like the way you think.

To do this right, you're going to have to be subtle, and it's going to take some time, and probably destroy the lining of your esophagus.

You can't suggest the gluttony to them, they have to think that they thought of it on their own.

So, you meet with them, invite them in with a half eaten turkey drumstick in hand, and, start to finish, keep eating. Purge privately when necessary. Keep the conversation friendly, don't admit to ANY sins, and more importantly, any doubts. But keep eating, and generously offer them delicious nummies that you keep on hand. In fact, insist. Be subtle, but make it clear that the biggest thing keeping you away from the hall is the lack of snacks.

Tell them that chocolate gets you high. Tell them that bacon gives you a sense of contentment. Tell them that you could go more than an hour without hummus (with the nice ripe olives) on gourmet crackers, but it wouldn't seem like much of a life; make this seem like something you see the humour in, but believe it to be true at the same time.

Dust a stick of butter with cinnamon, and casually naw on it as you walk them to their car. Be sure to offer them a bag of pork rinds for the road.

TR

Show up at every meeting gnawing on a turkey leg. Set up a microwave oven in the back, and when the timer bell rings, go help yourself to some mashed potatos and gravy. After the meetings, ask selected elders if they would like to go out for a bite.

TR

Edited by - TR on 8 December 2002 13:35:18

LB

They will never DF anyone for overeating. As mentioned in another thread some can get fat eating fairly normal while a young guy I know can eat 5 times as much as I do and remain thin. It's too vauge and I believe the society has a different twist on gluttony than we do.

I think sitting there naked in the front row while reading the lastest Penthouse should do it. If not then show up again the next week still naked while reading porn magazines. If something should arise then I suggest taking matters into hand.

blondie

The only time I ever knew of anyone being counseled about gluttony was a brother who always took more than his fair share at any social gathering and invitation to a meal at someone's home. I saw him take a whole plateful of cookies at one going-away party (4 dozen cookies) and eat them all by himself. And that was just an appetizer. He was at an elder's house and took both drumsticks from the turkey without asking if anyone else wanted some. At one home, he put half the casserole on his plate before anyone else had a spoonful at one meal meant for 5 people.

And he wasn't fat, just greedy and stingy. He would invite himself over and eat as much "free" food as he could. He dropped by at mealtimes of various ones in the congregation rather than buy food and fix his own meals.

Blondie

DFd for gluttony

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