disfellowshiped meeting

by desy2477 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    Yes, they asked me all sorts of questions like that, but not in my DF meeting. This was before, when I was fooling around (but not all the way) with the man who became my first husband. They wanted to know all the sordid details.

    When I had my DF meeting (after my divorce), I was short and to the point with them (because my man was waiting upstairs for me, which they didn't know). I told them, yes, I was having sexual relations with a man, and no, I didn't intend to stop. That was it.

    Edited by - Wolfgirl on 10 December 2002 5:27:52

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    We had a documentary here in Canada call "Roughcuts"" Children of Jehovah"

    In this program ( which was for the JW & against the JW) it interveiwed folks who were still in the Borg & folks who were out of the Borg. One of the girls on there discribed what the elders asked her.

    "Did he put his fingers in your virgina ? did you get an orgasm?etc:etc: she was 18 years old at the time & there were three of the old men asking.

    It was a very good program..... Showed how the elders examined every part of the "sinners" life!!!

    Sorry you had to endure that also though D

  • JT
    JT

    Desy

    I thought you would find this account in line with what you were talking about

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=4114&site=3

    I thought the name of this thread was so on time for this thread demostrates one of the sad things about claiming to speak for god, when one actually does not.

    when i was a newly appointed elder at the tender age of 27

    i was introduced to the world of the JUDICAL COMMITTEE.

    It was in fact my first case. i had gotten a call from the PO before the meeting stating that their would be an elders meetings to discuss some judical matters. i sat thru the meeting thinking and wondering

    what type of case would it be and would i be selected to serve on it since i was a new elder or would i be told next you can serve.

    right after the prayer we quickly entered the 2nd school. and there we sat, the po annouced that he had been approached by a single sister who stated she had sexual relationship with a man on her job and this would require the formation of a judical committe.

    i recall so well that one bro almost jumped out of his seat to volunteer stating that since she was in his bookstudy he felt that he would be in a good position to serve.

    the po stated he would be out of town so he could not do it this weekend and it needed to be handle quickly cause it was publicly known on her job

    - the guy got the sister stuff and-went bragging about bagging a JW-

    so another bro was recommended and then the po said let James serve it will be good exp. we got 2 exp elders already.

    so the time was arranged for sat at 2pm at the hall to meet with her but we would meet at 1:30pm to review the flockbook

    well i was up late friday night reviewing the flockbook on how i could be a loving shepard for this dear sister who had been swallowed up by this worldly man - a tool of satan_

    then the time came she walked into the room and i had known her for a number of years and my wife and her were good friends so the embarrassment on her face was so telling

    after a prayer the chairman explained a few ground rules no tape recorders , etc

    then she was asked to tell us what happened

    when she finished --the woman was shaking and eyes just full of water

    then the questioning began

    at first the question were basic one that i thought sounded reasonable, but in just a few min i realized why the bookstudy conductor wanted to serve on her case

    i found out later that he was interested in her yrs ago, but she wasn't

    he married and his wife was one of those big black sisters who was good in field service , but not much to really look at

    while this sister kinda put in mind of a Venessa Williams type to put in plainly she was a nice looking sister i won't lie

    but the questions took a wild left hand turn, he started and the other bro would followup it was like machine gun questions

    Who was on top
    Did he Climax
    was there oral or any anal

    and on an on it went
    and yes the famous question:

    "Were you wearing Panites or Thongs?"

    i could see that she was starting to lose it and she just brokedown into tears- so she was excused to go to the bathroom

    while she was out it was explained to me as a new elder that such questions were NEEDED to see if she was consistent in her story and the details- to see if she was truly repentant or was it a practice

    he explained to me that a "Practice" could be considered if the person had sexually intercourse more than once during the night while in the bed with the person- that it was not needed for it to be separate days, but more than once in the same night and it "could be" considered that the person had made it into a "Pratice"

    the TECHNICAL DETAILS that wt gives it's elders are unreal

    such as the difference between

    1. MOMENTARYLY TOUCHING A SISTER'S BREAST

    2. CARRESSING IT-

    oUR WT elders school spent about 25 min in our class explaining the difference between the two and each has it's own
    punishment

    i was told that the Panty-Thong question would reveal

    "INTENT" "Scheming" "planning" etc on the part of the sister

    you see as it was explained to me if she was wearing Bloomers or reg panties then if a claim was made that we got carried away in the heat of the moment then it would be possible

    but if she was wearing "Thongs" then she went to his house with the intent of Giving him Some

    now this is how i was beening groomed and instructed, being a new elder who had never served on any case i didn't know

    these guys were exp elders with yrs of judical cases under thier belt-
    beside these were all Former bethelites like myself so of course the boys from THE HOUSE knew how the judicial meeting was to be handle

    well she came back into the room and sat down and the questions started again in a few min and at this point she refused to answer anymore questions LIKE THAT and she told us she would not answer THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONs

    "Girl Friend" picked up her bag and walked out

    in 5 min we decided that she was "UNREPENTANT" AND DFED HER

    I SWEAR TO GOD i only wish i could find her and tell her how sorry i was for allowing her to literally be ganged raped by those guys

    this system of the WT of having men called Elders with no training FREELY be able to ask any Damn quesiton they want to and the persons is obligated to answer or else be viewed as not working with Jehovah's Organization is a Damn Joke

    I often wonder whatever became of that sister- she attended only about 2or 3 meetings after the annoucement and disappared into thin air

    If you are reading this post and you know who you are

    for i'm in the Washington DC area of the country

    I beg you to please accept my apology for supporting such a cruel and evil system

    James

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    James you are to be commended for your post.It takes a big man to come out & apoligise for your

    part in the dealings of this kind. I do hope that sister reads your e-mail. I heard of a girl in England who killed herself after this kind of scrutiny......Thank God we stand before a differant judge in the end.

  • ugg
    ugg

    hi,,and welcome.....dreadful....absolutely dreadful!!!!!!!!!!! VEGETABLES!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD GRIEF!!!

  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    Hi Desy, welcome to the board! I was DFd for adultery. I was leaving for my own reasons; lack of love in the organization, the way child sexual abuse was not handled etc. I allowed myself to to be DFd for adultery so my ex could remarry without having me spied on by the elders.

    I think I was very lucky. My Judicial commitee showed up at my house, my turf you might say. (for once not being able to drive put me at an advantage!) I set the house up ahead of time, got myself looking just the way I wanted to and basically controlled the entire situation. I had the table and chairs by the front door and didn't let them any further into the house. They were really nervous! They hemmed and hawed as they tried to ask me if I had committed adultery. I said Yup! and I'm going to do it as often as possible! The looks on their faces were priceless... they were so intimidated by me they didn't ask for details. (shucks, I had some really great ones ready too! LOL) As they were leaving they said they would form a commitee and decide what to do with me. I said; "You have to disfellowship me. I am totally unrepentant!" Wow, bet they never heard that before!

    Merry Meet!

    ~Witch

  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    During my three years as an elder, I only had to participate in one judicial meeting with a young sister who got involved with a man. While the questions did not go to the depth you describe, it was very embarrassing for the sister. I was also very uncomfortable with the meeting and tried to direct the conversation away from the details of the encounter.

    However, there is someting even more distrubing that you may not realize. An elder from the judicial meeting is responsible for writing a detailed report and sending it to the Society. When I read the letter that an elder wrote about the judicial meeting I was involved in, I could not believe the unnecessary level of titillating detail. It read like something out of Penthouse. I have no idea who in Bethel reads those letters, but the fact that they have so many of these letters is disturbing.

  • moreisbetter
    moreisbetter

    My heart goes out to all that had to endure such crap! I sincerely hope everyone is in a better place or getting there.

    I thought these kinds of meeting requesting so much detail was a new trend. But the more experiences I read, I learn it is not. I was very fortunate that both of my meetings, one at 16 & another 10 yrs ago was not like that. they wanted to know what drove me to do commit such sin. I'm disgusted to think that people I considered loving family are most likely conducting such unecessary meetings.

    BTW, how do elders even know to ask about vegetables? Field research maybe?

    more

    Edited by - moreisbetter on 10 December 2002 11:51:1

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    I was df'd for lying, profanity, and loose conduct (my mom walked in my room unannounced and saw a hickey on my chest).

    The elders had known me since I was 4 yrs old. I was 15 at the time of my "meeting" with them(one of many I had been to I might add). They asked for details and I refused to give them any. I just kept saying it was a bruise. They didn't believe me of course and so I was df'd for being unrepentant. Which was ok, I had planned to get df'd anyways.

    For them to ask such ?'s in beyond wrong. Plus it is none of their god #$%* business!!!! Which was my thinking when I was 15 as well. Being an elders daughter my attitude was far from what they expected of me.

    I also want to know where in the HELL THE VEGETABLE ? comes from???? sheesh *yes I had sex with a banana*--- good grief

    Edited by - Jesika on 10 December 2002 12:15:0

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    So Jesika, were you wearing a thong before you had sex with that banana?

    (Need to make sure you didn't have "intent" to seduce the banana)

    Edited by - Elsewhere on 10 December 2002 12:26:35

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