News Reports that sound dirty, but aren't

by SixofNine 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  meadow77

  ' Woman To Drop Suit For Sperm '
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  meadow77

  Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

  Would the fans along the outfield please remove their clothes.
  Tex Rikards, announcer at Ebbets Field, New York, after fans had used the top of the outfield fence for their coats.
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  Skeptic

  Ontario license plates have "Ontario" at the top and "Yours to Discover" on the Bottom. A customized license plate has the plate number as the person's last name, Dick. The plate reads:

  Ontario

  Dick

  Yours to Discover
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  meadow77

  Edited by - meadow77 on 16 December 2002 2:52:4
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  meadow77

  I love this post. It had me really searching hard, and I found some really dumb quotes that are sooo hilarious. These don't really sound dirty, but they are funny all the same. Please share if you have some.

  1. We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.
     -- Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
  2. Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
     -- Hong Kong dental advertisement
  3. "Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
     - Advertisement
  4. "Cars will not have Intercourse on this Bridge."
     -Tokyo, Japan traffic sign
  5. "Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
     - Mariah Carey
  6. "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
     - Britney Spears
  7. Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of
     the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The
     researchers also discovered other similarities between the
     two, but can't remember what they are.
     --Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
  8. "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I
     have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could
     converse with those people"
     -Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
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  ignored_one

  All I can say is enjoy:

  Ignored One.
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  meadow77

  Well you wont remain "ignored" with that little gem! Very Funny!!