Reverse Thinking

Yizuman

For years I've been reading and talking to people who are out of the organization either by being df'ed or da'ed themselves from the so called "truth".

My main concern is that once the former jdubs are out, they start to reverse their thinking from everything the jdubs had learned that is considered a "no no", ranging from sex, satanism, getting into pornagraphy, drugs, alcohol, rock music, smoking, reading ouji boards and anything else they can get their hands into that was considered forbidden by the WT. Even some decided to reverse their thinking from believing "there is a God" to "there is no God".

While I can understand the anger and bitterness that has resulted from realizing how they have been deceived by the WT for many years. I am concerned about the destructive behavior that ex-jdubs are getting themselves into.

Sure it gives ex-jdubs a sense of total freedom and go wild on everything that was forbidden to them. I hate to see people get hurt in the process. But is this sense of total freedom truely freedom or does it give a false sense of freedom thinking it won't hurt to try things that was once considered forbidden to them at the time?

Especially those that turn to sex, drugs and alcohol to try to hide from the inner most pain and suffering as a result from various reasons, such as sexual abuse, physical abuse or being df'ed from their friends and families. Or those that da'ed themselves after realizing they had been deceived after all those years being with the WT.

I pray alot for those kind and decent souls out there who get into destructive behavior for whatever reasons it may be. Even when some aren't aware they are engaging into destructive behavior and think whatever it is they are doing is ok, no big deal, it's cool, etc.

I'm not blasting anyone for whatever it is anyone may be engaging themselves into nor am I trying to judge anyone. I'm only concerned about the welfare of each and every individual who may be hurting. Even if those who aren't feeling any pain or suffering as they leave the so called "truth" and engage into destructive behavior that might result in geting hurt in the long run.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Is my concerns unwarrented and unneccessary? Should I not worry about all this?

Comments?

avishai

No, it can be a problem, just like w/ any form of abuse, people have a tendency to "act out" their issues.

desy2477

I agree with some of what you are saying, because I also went a little bit wild when I was disfellowshiped mainly because it was not allowed or now we don't have to hide when we are drinking or having sex etc but I have found that there are alot of people that have never been disfellowshiped and they are out of control as well. So I think it just has to do with growing up unfortunately most people get to go crazy when they are younger we couldn't so we now do it for when we are older and have the freedom to be able to experement and maybe go overborard.

yucca

i asked a jw why they were doing these things drugs and sex. they answered what difference does it make they were going to die anyway. they would not know any thing any way they would just be dead. happy to say this person found out that they had to account to jesus every word that comes out of their mouth and there is a hell. turned their life around when they knew jesus forgives them and loves them really made a difference in their life.jesus said go and sin no more.that is so wonderful.

desy2477

I feel that way that we are all going to die anyway.

onacruse

"Even when some aren't aware they are engaging into destructive behavior and think whatever it is they are doing is ok..."

Doesn't that describe how many JWs are? Treating disfellowshipped family and friends like throw-aways, allowing/forcing their members to die rather than take a transfusion, thinking of and talking about "worldly" people as if they were mere animals being gathered together for the slaughter? Oh sure, they justify these attitudes and behavior as a Scriptural necessity, and therefore feel that it is "ok." But is it humane? Does it meet common sense? Is it constructive?

Then, how about self-destructive behavior? Letting oneself be deprived of perfectly normal pleasures and purposes of life is abnormal, yet many JWs do this as a matter of course---ignoring their families for the sake of "theocratic activities," foregoing higher education, making minimal if any plans for retirement, etc. Again, they justify these attitudes and behavior as a Scriptural necessity, and therefore feel that it is "ok." But is it humane? Does it meet common sense? Is it constructive?

I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that unless a fundamental change is made in the way a JW perceives life, the destructive pattern will continue, in another form, perhaps, but destructive nonetheless.

Craig

Jesika

I remember a talk given by a visiting brother in my cong. I can't remember what the talk was about, but I still to this day I remember an illustration given by this brother, almost word for word............................

"If you hold a spring in your hand tightly, then one day you have to open your hand------the spring will bounce around out of control. If you take that same spring and over time slowly open your hand, when you have to open it all the way, the spring will remain in your hand."

The (ironic) moral to this story had to do with parents and the freedom you should allow your children in the yrs of them growing up. If you have a tight hold on them untill they are 18 they will go wild, but if you allow them some freedom over the yrs, then they will remain in the place they should be.

I remember looking up at my father after the moral was explained (we sat in the 3rd row, in the frount--always), the next thing I know I am being pinched on my arm sooooooooo hard I flinched, and then had tears in my eyes from the pain.

That was my silent approach and plea to him to-- GET THE POINT!!!

Well, needless to say, the plea was unanswered and I was severely punished for the embarrassment it caused him by me looking up at him right after the moral was stated ( I was about 12-13 at the time).

I have made no reservations about my lifestyle. I was a stripper, did drugs, was very sexually active, and experiemented with ouijia boards, tartot cards, and I no longer believe in "God" either.

This stemmed from my abuse------you name it, I have been through it. I have been out of the JW religion for 12yrs. I didn't do all these things in a short amount of time. I do think however, that being told "you can't" for so long makes you say "YES I CAN."

Yes, these things aren't the best things in the world to do, but neither is being a JW.

I often wonder who I could have been if I hadn't been raised this way. Would I still believe in God??? I don't know, but I do know that I don't and I have no reason to. Do I regret things I have done??? WHO doesn't regret something they have done. I don't regret the lessons I have learned in the process, and those are priceless. These things I have gone through allow me to relate to almost anyone I come in contact with. So, I feel I have gone through this for a reason, if nothing else to make my son aware and to answer almost any ? he has.

Would I take it all back?? Being a JW??? I can't honestly say, cause I don't know what kind of person I would be today if I hadn't been through what I have been through.

Just my 2cents,

Jesika

Edited by - jesika on 11 December 2002 2:7:39

garybuss

Hi Yizuman,

I think Witnesses perceive a big change in us when we leave association, but in reality, what they are really often seeing is a glimpse of our newly acquired honesty and openness. We just quit hiding our behaviors and opinions. That looks like a change to them.

Every Witness I ever really got to know, led a double life on some level. Leaving the confines of the group just dispenses with the facade.

Leaving and turning to the bad is just another Witness doctrine. It is a myth.

gb

The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

ChrisVance

desy2477, onacruse, jesika, garybuss you all make goods points. Although my life is very different than it was while I was a jdub, I still have many values I acquired while I was in "prison." I still believe it's important to be honest and treat people with respect. I wouldn't dream of stealing another person's posessions, etc. I like to believe I've filtered out the bad things that the jdub teach and kept the good things. Really, there were some goods things.

donkey

bASSackwards

Reverse Thinking

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