These flame wars rock?

Brummie

Is anyone really hurt badly by the flame wars? if so sorry. But seems to me that almost everyone on this board is drawn to them, WHY? ...cus you like them dont ya...c'mon admit it.

Then someone starts a thread asking if we could all just get along and consequently it turns into a flamin flame war..well flamin eck.

Skep thanks for the entertainment this week, sad that it was tasteless though...none the less I still think a lot of people can put your crap aside and see you for being an OK bloke...reading between the lines quiet a few think your ok.

Yiz and Skep, Swedish chef and calvin well done for taking the attention of the RF BB endless joke.

Brummie (being a sad mutha... )

Edited by - Brummie on 12 December 2002 8:55:29

Pathofthorns

I personally wouldn't agree with your statement that "flame wars rock". I think when discussions degenerate into name calling and the sharing of personal details in a public forum that people are often hurt.

IMO Flame wars are the result of BOTH parties having too much pride to walk away from an argument and several persons that have no business adding their 2 cents to the fight. Of course, everyone somehow manages to justify their own behavior and responses and thinks they are *necessary*.

Participants in flame wars often fail to realize what sort of message they are sending out, simply by their perpetuating and participating in these negative situations. Bystanders often just shake their heads and say "this is really sad and pathetic".

Path

Brummie

Actually I agree Path...when it stoops so low as to make a direct insult on the individual. Admittingly for me flame wars rock only when the one in the wrong gets a good reply and ends up being corrected.

Still seems like everyone hits on the flame war threads though

brummie

Xena

It's the human condition Brummie...look at the entertainment industry and what sells. People like drama, passion, sex and violence. If given the choice between reading a religious book or a nice juicy novel, which would most choose?

The problem is of course these are not fictional charecters...these are real people with real feelings...and yes Brummie people DO get hurt in flame wars. I remember last Christmas being in tears over something someone on here had written about me/to me. I was in a very bad place in my life then and it was the last straw....fortunately now I have developed a much thicker skin and better self image

Brummie

I remember last Christmas being in tears over something someone on here had written about me/to me

geeesh that is so sad! Sorry :(

Brummie

Xena

Yea Brummie it was pretty sad...and pathetic...and I brought it on myself most likely by not letting it go.....and that is what happens when you get involved in flame wars.

searcher

Brummie,

It is so obvious why there are flame wars on this (or any ex JW) board.

Look back on the wars, see who posts to them, and what they say/the way they say it.

I have read a lot here about the JW ' mindset', but it seems that some people had that type of mind BEFORE becoming JW's, others who were born in, also had that type of mind.

By this I mean that these types just HAVE to have someone to feel superior to, in the JW's it was 'christendom and the world'.

Here it is anyone who see's things diferently from the way that they do, proved by the fact that in any previous wars you will RARELY find an answer to an argument put forward by a poster, just personal attacks and insults..........Typical JW tactics, and yet the posters are not (?) Jw's, so the only reason can be that they have that type of mind anyway.

Argument is an intelectual process, what happens many time here is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

There are many fine people on this board, thats why I like it here, but the close minded sniping of some does get a touch wearying at times.

searcher.

Skeptic

Skep thanks for the entertainment this week, sad that it was tasteless though...none the less I still think a lot of people can put your crap aside and see you for being an OK bloke...reading between the lines quiet a few think your ok.

You are welcome, Brummie. My reasons for partcipating in that tasteless flame war are explained in my reply to Kismet.

Yiz and Skep, Swedish chef and calvin well done for taking the attention of the RF BB endless joke.

Uh, your welcome...I think.

Xena, I am so sorry that you got hurt by a flame war. You are such a good person, it tears me up to think of you being that sad. People forget that it is real people they are hurting, not just some words on a screen. The tears are very real.

Lee played mindgames big time online. I was her first real time mindgame . A big part of my training her to stop was to show her in person the deep emotional pain and paranoia she caused in me. The other part was loving her for just her, and helping her find a good Master. The third part was introducing her to a very sick "friend" of mine who calmly explained what he would do to her if she "mindgamed" again. As events turned out, her sick side and him got along great. In fact, she preferred his company to mine. She is the first person whom this individual ever loved (long story). Lee has permanently changed who he is. I am not sure if that is a good thing.

Either she is clever enough to make me stop, or she stopped. I will never really know because she is much more clever than I will ever be. Assuming she actually stopped....Part of it is that she feels loved for just who she is, with no games involved.....especially with her new Master. Another part is that she now knows the real harm these mind games do. Lee has a very sick side to her, but she also is a very good woman with a good heart. Her heart has finally grasped the harm her "fun" can do. I knew I could not reach her mind; I was hoping I could reach her heart. Her Master now owns her heart. They met in early October and are now engaged. I am very, very happy for her. (And people here think I move fast? Yeah, I know, Windrider and I were engaged sooner than that, but we were friends for a long time before our romantic relationship.)

I am reading a book on violence and how to recognize in advance someone who will harm you. The first thing it points out is that even the most "evil" of people are not evil at all. They are human. Just human. And given what they consider to be good motivation, everyone is capable of harming someone else. This certainly explains Lee. This has helped me put recent events into perspective.

Richard, who thanks the person who told me about that book

P.S., I just found out that bad words get deleted on here...

Edited by - Skeptic on 12 December 2002 16:16:33

Brummie

great reply!

By this I mean that these types just HAVE to have someone to feel superior to, in the JW's it was 'christendom and the world'.

Interesting observation

Brummie

Valis

Do flame wars "rock"? IMO, no they do not.

Are they ever going to cease? No they will not, well at least until Armageddon gets here..

Are they damaging to people? Yes, particularly the ones revealing personal info that no one really cares about anyway.

Can we lessen the number of flame wars? Yes, by emailing those involved and getting them to chill out for thier own good and when they don't, they tend to reveal themselves, their nature, and their motive, rather quickly. We can also refrain from getting involved as stated previously, unless of course you get dragged in by other less considerate users. At that point, everyone has the right to stand up for themselves, and I think for their friends too. This might cause more flames, but at least you find out where everyone stands, which IMO is much better than having users blithely post under a facade of nicety, rather than speak their mind.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

These flame wars rock?

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