Hi Aztec! Thanks for your feedback..and everyone's! This is precisely what I was hoping for! I need to look at and approach this from all angles..I hear what you are saying, however I am not suing for visitation to take my grandaughter to MY church or ? I don't believe any court should grant that right to a grandparent, when the child's parent or parents are living. I honestly just want to carry on the wonderful relationship I was enjoying with "Chloe"...You see, my daughter's very first boyfriend came along when she was a senior in High School, I noticed how quickly they became attached and it was intense, so I had a talk with her and brought up the subject of birth control, etc. Well, from her upbringing, she looked at me as if I had suddenly grown another head, was totally 'insulted' that I would even bring up the subject and that was that, well, not really, because a few weeks later, she came home and told me she was pregnant. I put my arms around her, told her I loved her and that WE would get through this, that everything would turn out fine...Later, I was bawling into my pillow! My daughter had a tough pregnancy and delivery, ended up having a C-section, but then both mother and baby were fine..Meanwhile Chloe's Dad, was working 3 jobs, I would let him use my car for his 3rd shift job, and all were living with me and my other 2 kids(teenagers at the time). I threw a nice shower for them, we fixed up a nice room in my home, I would baby-sit when I got home from work, this way my daughter could study and do homework. I worked hard and shared all that I had with everyone in my home. Then I went to California for 4 days, and while I was out there I called to check on things at the house and found out that "Brian", Chloe's biological father was caught by my youngest daughter and my ex-husband in a store with another girl. Well, that was horrible! If he had ended things and walked away it would've been better, but for us to find THAT out? Statistically, they didn't have a prayer, they were so young, but I hoped for Chloe's sake they might beat the odds? But it didn't happen..Anyway, my daughter and Chloe lived with us until Chloe was about 1 1/2 at which time they moved into an apt. in a house owned by a JW couple. My daughter did graduate High School and started college, she is almost an R.N., as she did meet someone, (also a JW), they married and had a baby last February, a boy(whom I've never 'met')...Her husband is very, very nice..From Mississippi, he speaks to me with respect..When he came up north to attend a wedding he met my daughter, Vanessa..They corresponded for a year and then he decided to move from where he was currently living, in Florida(he had a very good job), to New England. I was able to get him into a Union job that paid well, good benefits, etc., thru a close friend, which made me very happy AND them. Plus he's wonderful with Chloe. This situation is difficult, Vanessa hadn't gotten her degree yet as she was going part time, then she took time off with her marriage and new baby, but I heard she had gone back to finish. I totally agree that the parents should have the last say, under MOST circumstances..I don't believe that 'visitation' means time together to undermine each other or to indoctrinate one's own religious beliefs..I simply want to spend some TIME with Chloe doing Mimi(that's what she called me) and Chloe stuff..We used to talk about nature and we'd play music and dance..In the summer I would have 2 to 3 gardens and she would pick the vegetables 'by the fence' that I couldn't reach..She loves my dog "Benson" and he loved her too..At one point I was on an experimental treatment for my illness, out of Boston and at home had visiting nurses, at which point they weren't sure if I was going to make it, but she would come bounding into my room and her and I and Benson would have the VCR going, and we'd watch the Wizard of Oz! She loved that..She wouldn't act scared or anything, then at the end of the movie, she would burst into tears and sob for a minute, and I'd say "Chloe? Why are you crying now? Everything is OK, now! Then she would pull herself together and blow her nose and say, "Mimi, I save up all my crying for the end!" And I would laugh and give her a big hug! That little girl kept me going and at one point in my life when I was almost 'out of gas'..Then for Vanessa, to shun me? Why for quite a few years I was out of the truth, but I showed more spirituality than some people who went to every meeting, etc. This is why I have to try and see Chloe...I know I'm not going to live to be a ripe old age, and Chloe will not be the little girl I know and loved either..If I lose, at least I tried..The last time I spoke to her 2 years ago, I told her, please don't forget me...She told me she'd never forget me and that she thinks about me every night before she goes to bed...Even on nights when there's a finger-nail moon! (I told her when the moon is in the beginning of it's cycle, it looks like a finger-nail)..Well, thanks for your feedback...I sincerely appreciate your ideas. Take good care! NK
