Weddings Kiwi Style

by Gizmo 12 Replies latest social humour

  • Gizmo
    Gizmo

    There was this New Zealand Sheep Farmer who had this whole flock of sheep. He wanted to get the sheep pregnant so that he could increase his stock, but he was too poor to buy a male sheep. So, he figured the only thing he could do was to get the sheep pregnant himself.

    One morning the man loaded up all the sheep into his truck and drove them over to a barn where nobody could see him. He mounted each sheep and then loaded them back in the truck and brought them back to the pasture near his house. He went to bed that night after a long day's work.

    The next morning he woke up, and looked out the bedroom window expecting all the sheep to be laying down on their sides, because that is what the sheep do when they are pregnant. But, all the sheep were still standing.

    The guy is surprised and a little disappointed, but he gets up, loads the sheep back into the truck, takes them to the barn and tries to get them impregnated. He wakes up the next morning and looks out the window and sees that the sheep are all standing up. So, he loads them in the truck, takes them in the barn and does them all, yet again.

    The next morning, he is so exhausted by his work, he asks his wife to look out the window and look at the sheep. She does this and he asks her if they are laying down on their sides. She says, "No, they are all in the truck, and one is honking the horn!"

  • Gizmo
    Gizmo

    A tourist arrived in New Zealand, hired a car, and set
    off for the wilderness. On his way he saw a bloke
    having sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled
    up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch.
    Just as he was about to down it, he saw a bloke with
    one leg masturbating furiously at the bar.

    "For Christ's sake!" the tourist cried.
    "What the hell
    is going on around here? I've only been in this country
    for an hour and I've seen a guy banging a sheep; and
    now, some other guy's spanking himself in the bar!"
    "What's yer bloody problem, mate?" the bartender said. "You can't expect a man with one leg to catch a sheep."

  • Gizmo
    Gizmo

    What do you call an Aussie with a sheep
    under one
    arm and a pig under the other?

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    Bisexual

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